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Originally Posted by DumbMan
I meant I taking this really seriously I didn't realize how serious this situation is that why the screen name.Yes U R right about fessing up if their is anymore garbage & I take this seriously,I happy 2 report their isn't anything 2 fess up 2.

And then today:
"I admitted to my wife that my physical affair had not stopped & was active till d-day (including d-day) & that it wasn't just emotional at the end as I previously described."

crazy MrRollieEyes clap

Go schedule a polygraph ASAP. Don't be lazy and wait for your BW to do it. You had time to chase after skank for years, you can get off your butt and do this FOR HER!! And you can also look into a post-nup too while you are at it.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
Have you written that 5 minute or less letter yet?

Also, will you verify that the use of your friends cell phone was only a short voice mail message by bringing your W to view your friends cell phone log?

It's still time for ACTION, not words.

The clock is ticking still.

LTL
sorry 4 not getting back so soon, yes I wrote a letter, Ive been in heavy communication with my wife all day with the exception of 1 hr 2 do some chores on the house, yes I will try 2 find the person phone that I used 2 verify his call log

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Did you email the letter that Melody posted to family and friends?

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Trying 2 provide & protect 4 my wife after last weeks stupid stunt I pulled off contacting ow by borrowing a cell phone from a co worker 2 warn ow about an exposure letter my wife was sending I just cant effed believe I did this, this is so unacceptable , Im typing this & as I read it, I think this is the most stupid thing Ive done than the affair itself.

Anyway my wife is so upset ( understandably )shes not comfortable with me going 2 work tomorrow or ever again. I have been empathy & reassuring this week end,& we really cant afford 4 me 2 take off work as I took off a day last week after dday number 2,anything anyone can help with?

What should I do? We do? I want to provide for my wife but I won't ever be able to provide for her if I qquit work.

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Quote
Anyway my wife is so upset ( understandably )shes not comfortable with me going 2 work tomorrow or ever again.
Then...quit your job. Tell your boss why you can no longer work there. Let him know that your marriage is more important than any job.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
Show your intent with regular safe Actions.

LTL

Can u help me to know about safe actions? Do u mean safe boundaries? EPs? I know shes not feeling safe & I really do want 2 make her feel safe & protected, any suggestions?

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Yes I hand wrote the letters & are ready 2 mail, my wife is not so sure she wants 2 mail ,but they are ready if she chooses 2.

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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Then...quit your job. Tell your boss why you can no longer work there. Let him know that your marriage is more important than any job. [/quote]Yes that sounds good but how can I provide 4 her without employment, jobs aren't that easy 2 get these days especially @ my age. Plus my wife had cancer little over a year ago & we need 2 keep our hospitalization.
Im open 2 suggestions, my boss is my brother in law he offered 2 hire another person 2 watch over me @ work.I want 2 go 2 work tomorrow & my wife suggested I post on here & ask what all of u think.

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You should of thought of all those things before you had a affair. Do what will make your wife feel safe. Are you familiar with just compensation?

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It grates on my nerves everytime you say you were "stupid"


stu�pid
[stoo-pid, styoo‐] , stu�pid�er, stu�pid�est, noun

adjective
1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question.
3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party.
4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio.
5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.


Might I suggest "Inconsiderate", "Selfish", or "Cruel". I think those fit your actions MUCH better.

in�con�sid�er�ate
[in-kuhn-sid-er-it]

adjective
1. without due regard for the rights or feelings of others: It was inconsiderate of him to keep us waiting.
2. acting without consideration; thoughtless; heedless.
3. overhasty; rash; ill-considered: slovenly, inconsiderate reasoning.


self�ish
[sel-fish] Show IPA

adjective
1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2.characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.


cru�el
[kroo-uhl]

adjective, cru�el�er, cru�el�est.
1. willfully or knowingly causing pain or distress to others.
2. enjoying the pain or distress of others: the cruel spectators of the gladiatorial contests.
3. causing or marked by great pain or distress: a cruel remark; a cruel affliction.
4. rigid; stern; strict; unrelentingly severe.

(I THINK YOU SHOULD USE ALL 3)

Last edited by Lexxxy; 10/28/13 03:15 PM.
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okay thank u 4 u r reply I do agree with everything u pointed out I admit that I was selfish,inconsiderate & cruel. I disagree with enjoyment of causing pain, I never wanted 2 hurt anyone I was just selfish etc. etc. trying 2 get my needs met. I take this very seriously I'm owing up 2 my selfish/inconsiderate/etc,etc behavior & poor decisions. trying 2 make some sense of all this ,trying 2 build a new marriage. Thats y I'm here looking 4 help/guidance.

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Originally Posted by DumbMan
okay thank u 4 u r reply I do agree with everything u pointed out I admit that I was selfish,inconsiderate & cruel. I disagree with enjoyment of causing pain, I never wanted 2 hurt anyone I was just selfish etc. etc. trying 2 get my needs met. I take this very seriously I'm owing up 2 my selfish/inconsiderate/etc,etc behavior & poor decisions. trying 2 make some sense of all this ,trying 2 build a new marriage. Thats y I'm here looking 4 help/guidance.
DM, I know you mentioned that you're missing some digits. So, how come you can type out "inconsiderate" and can't seem to type out "two"?

I'm not being anal. I am questioning whether you are committed to taking the time to talk to us.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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My wife showed me how to use voice commands so hopefully this will be easier to read.

Today I called my mother and explained my continued affair after I was exposed &
breeched the no contact agreement with ow , I took off work today 2 honor my
wife & reassure her that I want 2 work on our relationship.

we discussed what I
could do to reassure her of me working and being away from her . Her brother was
very accommodating to us that I would not be alone all day and he would have
someone with me at all times so I didn't have any possibility for contact to the
other woman .her brother owns company,I am working for him and he's trying to
accommodate me not being alone so that I don't contact the other woman,

I also tried to reassure my wife all day and we spent all day together and I know now that I need to convey more feelings to her. We also tried to poja and brainstorm on how to make her feel safe and reassure honesty and empathy.

any
other ideas are very welcome.

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Much better! It sounds like you are both on the right track, headed in the right direction. I understand she has contacted Dr Harley with some questions so I hope you hear back soon.



"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Thank your wife, sir, for directing you on responding to us. Mr. Bliss is computer illiterate as you seem to be, so I'm going to give you a pass smile



D-Day 2-10-2009
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How is it possible 2 be in luv with 2 women @ the same time? How is it that that u can compartmentalize 2 relationships & live with u r self ,does anyone recognize these systems.? Is it possible 2 luv one women & get u r physical needs met from another, & luv the other women?

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Originally Posted by DumbMan
How is it possible 2 be in luv with 2 women @ the same time?

I would avoid saying things like this. When you withdraw from the high of the OW you won't feel the same way. It is hurtful and sickening to your wife and causes huge lovebank withdrawals. I don't think you can afford to erode her love for you anymore than you already have.

No one wants to hear how much you loved that skank. Really. It is revolting. Affairs are disgusting and putrid to objective observers.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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The OW has brought you nothing but shame and degradation. She has almost destroyed your marriage and has certainly destroyed your reputation. Your affair with her was the worst mistake of your life. You might not see that now because you are still high on the CRACK, but when you come down off that high, you will see how revolting it looks to those who are not high.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Yes U R rite thank U 4 putting it in perspective I did alot of soul searching & i realize that I sincerely do love my wife very deeply & I want 2 have the biggest & best marriage ever I also want 2 thank u personally 4 helping us.:)

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Originally Posted by DumbMan
How is it possible 2 be in luv with 2 women @ the same time? How is it that that u can compartmentalize 2 relationships & live with u r self ,does anyone recognize these systems.? Is it possible 2 luv one women & get u r physical needs met from another, & luv the other women?

Excuse me while I puke

Seriously dude, your BW is over in the corner bleeding from 12 years of lies and deceit and you are sitting here trying to figure why you "luv two women at the same time".

Good grief man, you are still just saying words and still more concerned with your pain verses what you have put your wife through.

12 years. You should feel lucky if she gives you 12 more hours of her time.

What sort of JC have you planned to give her? So far I see just words.


"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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