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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...t-affair-married-teaching-assistant.html

This is such a sad story about how the WH killed the BW after she found out. Instead of doing a nuclear exposure, the BW only told the two people who already knew. She confronted the OW and WH who made the typical lie responses. She was killed shortly afterwards.

I can't help but think that if more people knew what was happening then this mum-of-three would have been safer.

What is so remarkable, is you would think a murderer WH would be a different breed, and rather worse than we see here on the forums. However the A as described in court is surprisingly TYPICAL of what we see here.

The OW and WH sent what the prosecutor called 'scheming texts' which were intended for the eyes of their spouses. Texts which made them appear innocent. So many of us here see 'scheming texts' regularly - it was a feature in my XWH's A for example.

Then there are other texts sent by the WH to OW which talk of how he wants to "show her off" to his family and talks of how "they will love you". Again the deep need to keep the facade of innocent love for the families is evident. How often do we see that here?

So much so, that while deep in the fog, this man killed his children's mother. Purely to protect his lover's reputation.

When exposure did occur, the lovers quickly threw each other under a bus. The OW clearly is a witness for the prosecution in this story.

How sad that the A did not fall apart sooner.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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How tragic. So many lives destroyed.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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It's only a matter of time before they bring charges to the POSOW. she knew of the murder and didn't report it. It's amazing how all affairs are alike. I feel for those poor children.

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The delusion of waywards seems generally to go something like this:

Speaking to a member of the OS now and then is perfectly acceptable.

Speaking to a member of the OS about my most personal issues is OK

Getting flirty comments from my attractive pal is great! I can handle it.

I am in love! No one, not even my beloved will ever know.

We are in love. No one can ever know this was an A.

BW is suspicious. I can handle her, though.

We are so clever! We can fool anyone.

BW knows! If I can bully her/shut her up/ask her to 'be adult' about this, she will keep my secret.

Unfortunately in this case, he chose killing the BW as his 'shut up' tool. Usually it is gaslighting.

It is so funny I think, that these waywards think the BS is the one and only way the truth can get out. The truth, like daylight, has many ways to reveal itself.

The wife is dead, but there were still investigators and a trail of text messages. Only fogged out waywards could think they could get away with covering up that level of truth.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by indiegirl
The delusion of waywards seems generally to go something like this:

Speaking to a member of the OS now and then is perfectly acceptable.

Speaking to a member of the OS about my most personal issues is OK

Getting flirty comments from my attractive pal is great! I can handle it.

I am in love! No one, not even my beloved will ever know.

We are in love. No one can ever know this was an A.

BW is suspicious. I can handle her, though.

We are so clever! We can fool anyone.

BW knows! If I can bully her/shut her up/ask her to 'be adult' about this, she will keep my secret.

Unfortunately in this case, he chose killing the BW as his 'shut up' tool. Usually it is gaslighting.

It is so funny I think, that these waywards think the BS is the one and only way the truth can get out. The truth, like daylight, has many ways to reveal itself.

The wife is dead, but there were still investigators and a trail of text messages. Only fogged out waywards could think they could get away with covering up that level of truth.

AND...once the truth did come out (exposure), the OW shoved the WH directly under the bus...How "truly-madly-deeply-forever" is that??

Yet another demonstration of the power of exposure to kill A's.


Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
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IG,

Ok, so this article also implied that the OW continued to have sex with OM who murdered his previous lover/wife.

Don't you think the question "am I next" would have occurred to OW?

God Bless
Gamma

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Originally Posted by indiegirl
this man killed his children's mother. Purely to protect his lover's reputation.

I didn't get that from the story. The WH could have not wanted to pay child support or have his own reputation tarnished. Either way, this man is evil and pathetic.

The story doesn't say the BW confronted her WH...unless I missed it somewhere.

Very sad regardless. WH deserves to rot.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Originally Posted by TranquilDark
she knew of the murder and didn't report it.

Where did it say she knew? dontknow The story said WH texted OW but we don't know what the text said. Not defending OW but a lot of assumptions are being made. She may have known or she may have been duped (and the usual stupid).


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Originally Posted by indiegirl
This is such a sad story about how the WH killed the BW after she found out. Instead of doing a nuclear exposure, the BW only told the two people who already knew. She confronted the OW and WH who made the typical lie responses. She was killed shortly afterwards.


When I found out about my XH's affair (turned out to be one of a long series) I was advised to keep it secret to give my marriage the best chance of surviving. I was told especially not to tell anyone in my family as they would never accept him back if we recovered.

What terrible, terrible advice that was. Even though he did eventually break off the affair, he was able to use the 'innocent spouse' card to drag the divorce out for five years during which he had the audacity to show up at my mother's funeral as the 'grieving son in law'.


3 adult children
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Originally Posted by Gamma
IG,

Ok, so this article also implied that the OW continued to have sex with OM who murdered his previous lover/wife.

Don't you think the question "am I next" would have occurred to OW?

God Bless
Gamma


Could have. It's not clear whether she reported him but she certainly acted as a witness.
Originally Posted by black_raven
Originally Posted by indiegirl
this man killed his children's mother. Purely to protect his lover's reputation.

I didn't get that from the story. The WH could have not wanted to pay child support or have his own reputation tarnished. Either way, this man is evil and pathetic.

The story doesn't say the BW confronted her WH...unless I missed it somewhere.


That's true. He may have been told by the OW.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by black_raven
Originally Posted by TranquilDark
she knew of the murder and didn't report it.

Where did it say she knew? dontknow The story said WH texted OW but we don't know what the text said. Not defending OW but a lot of assumptions are being made. She may have known or she may have been duped (and the usual stupid).

She continued to sleep with the man after the murder. I'm pretty sure he told her at some point.

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Originally Posted by TranquilDark
Originally Posted by black_raven
Originally Posted by TranquilDark
she knew of the murder and didn't report it.

Where did it say she knew? dontknow The story said WH texted OW but we don't know what the text said. Not defending OW but a lot of assumptions are being made. She may have known or she may have been duped (and the usual stupid).

She continued to sleep with the man after the murder. I'm pretty sure he told her at some point.

OW is stupid but that doesn't mean the OM admitted to the murder. OM lie to their OW all the time and they are dumb enough to fall for it...or are desperate enough to hold onto the denial. That is typical.

If she is a witness for the prosecution either she didn't know and won't be charged or she will get a reduced sentence for her cooperation if there is anything to charge her with...and there might not be.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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IG,

What is so remarkable, is you would think a murderer WH would be a different breed, and rather worse than we see here on the forums. However the A as described in court is surprisingly TYPICAL of what we see here.

Actually many affairs start out with the cheating spouse creating an image of the faithful spouse as a cruel monster. It's easy to see how affair partner then feeds back that learned hate to the cheating partner and the ultimate outcome is murder after a number of cycles.

In a lesser more common form the wayward just wants their spouse to die somehow.

God Bless
Gamma

Last edited by Gamma; 11/06/13 06:44 PM.
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He was sentenced to life and 17 yrs before eligible for parole.

More details in these articles:
http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/nov/06/alan-evans-guilty-wife-murder-fall

http://www.expressandstar.com/news/...d-mistress-took-break-after-wifes-death/

Disgusting, disgusting people. I hope the OW is miserable. puke x 10000


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
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I see in the guardian article that the BW had threatened to expose OW and get her fired. However she accepted crumbs from her H and never followed through.

What a natural and instinctive response that must have been for her. We've all been there, haven't we? Get the OP to back off with some empty threats. Allow fear stop us from taking real action. Accept some empty promises the A is over. All because we misunderstand the power of the addiction.

I think this illustrates EXACTLY how much Dr Harley's exposure concept helps the world. It shows just how proud we should all be of every proper exposure action we have encouraged here on these forums.

Imagine if this poor BW had stopped by here and gotten real guidance to a) not make empty threats and b) protect herself with real action


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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There were other articles that said BW exposed to her mother and the BH. BW was planning to move out and take her children with her to her parents...her mother said that. The details of the story are scattered and choppy...leaves a lot of gaps and room for speculation.

The judge even made what I'd consider "foggy" comments...saying how the WH didn't help his BW after he threw her down the stairs? Huh? Why would he? He just assaulted her and threw her down the stairs!!! crazy Perhaps people can't wrap their brains around how crazy people in affairs can get...even when the public hears stories like this more and more...there is still disbelief that an affair is the motive.

There is another murder case being tried in UT where a doctor WH is accused of murdering his BW several years ago.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Originally Posted by black_raven
Perhaps people can't wrap their brains around how crazy people in affairs can get...even when the public hears stories like this more and more...there is still disbelief that an affair is the motive.

There is another murder case being tried in UT where a doctor WH is accused of murdering his BW several years ago.

His daughter testified at the trial. The news coverage ended the story by noting that the daughter had psychological problems and was mentally unstable. As if that was unexpected for the daughter to become unhinged and therefore was not credible.



ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

Recovered

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Originally Posted by pokerface
Originally Posted by black_raven
Perhaps people can't wrap their brains around how crazy people in affairs can get...even when the public hears stories like this more and more...there is still disbelief that an affair is the motive.

There is another murder case being tried in UT where a doctor WH is accused of murdering his BW several years ago.

His daughter testified at the trial. The news coverage ended the story by noting that the daughter had psychological problems and was mentally unstable. As if that was unexpected for the daughter to become unhinged and therefore was not credible.


Two daughters and they are definitely unhinged. My daughter was friends with their brother who tragically took his own life via a drug overdose about three years ago. The sisters contacted my daughter 12 hours after his death to find out if he had given her any computer records to keep for him. They did not appear to have any feelings about his death, just an obsession about their mother's murder.

Whether this man killed his wife or not, his behaviour has destroyed many lives.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)

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