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#2765949 11/14/13 12:14 PM
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This may be part of something basic as part of marriage builders. How does one deal with their own anger while working with other issues of spouses? I can yell n scream but that won't really help if I'm not out of my mind.
What do u do if anger overwhelms you?

Wearld #2765952 11/14/13 12:31 PM
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Any help please. I'm holding on almost by the minute.

Wearld #2765953 11/14/13 12:41 PM
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A long time ago my wife would yell and scream at each other. We don't anymore I started by taking a walk her I would start ggetting mad. Then I started to embrace thatI was in control of my anger and my emotions. I started saying "I'm not comfortable continuing this conversation" and repeated it like a broken record.

What specifically is your issue?


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

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Haven't influenced him enough to realize what talking about. And I have tell myself I'm responsible for this over and over. But resentment now turning into anger. Can't go into my shell but someone needs to keep the ball rolling.

Wearld #2765959 11/14/13 01:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Wearld
Haven't influenced him enough to realize what talking about. And I have tell myself I'm responsible for this over and over. But resentment now turning into anger. Can't go into my shell but someone needs to keep the ball rolling.


You have very immature coping mechanisms. Being angry or running away when you are upset are not adult behaviours.

You need to learn how to sit down and discuss problems calmly and honestly. If you do it that way you will find a solution that works for you both and which is better than either of you would have thought of alone.

Start small. Try discussing who is going to pay the electric bill this month. Stay away from emotional stuff until you are ok with the easy things. New habits take 3 months so be patient.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
Wearld #2765968 11/14/13 01:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Wearld
This may be part of something basic as part of marriage builders. How does one deal with their own anger while working with other issues of spouses? I can yell n scream but that won't really help if I'm not out of my mind.
What do u do if anger overwhelms you?

Being angry is a choice that you make each time you do it. If you are able to take a step back and see what anger really is, a choice, then you can start with the premise that from this moment moving forward that you'll start making different choices. It will take practice, but it can be done.

Wearld #2765972 11/14/13 01:50 PM
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Have you listened to the clips in here?
Anger Management 101


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Also, have you read this and listened to the clips in here?
Resentment Type A and Type B


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Wearld #2766074 11/15/13 05:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Wearld
This may be part of something basic as part of marriage builders. How does one deal with their own anger while working with other issues of spouses? I can yell n scream but that won't really help if I'm not out of my mind.
What do u do if anger overwhelms you?


I find that anger overwhelms us if one of the two things below are true:

1) We believe that other people 'make' us mad. If we believe this it's hopeless trying to control ourselves.
Or
2) We think of leaving the relationship as unthinkable. Leaving is not an option so we feel trapped and panicked.

If you accept that a) you decide when you act out and that b) leaving (after exhausting other options) is an appropriate response to abuse/neglect, you'll be fine.

We really need the specifics to help, but behaving in an angry way is simply not OK. Stop it.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.


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