What is he doing about his AOs? He curses at you is an AO. Does he do this alot?

This isn't a correct statement.

Complaints in a marriage are good. In a healthy M they are accepted and encouraged. Policy of Radical Honesty which leads to the Policy of Joint Agreement.

Also if you have health concerns you should have a spouse who provides an empathetic shoulder to lean on. Telling a spouse to suck it up isn't good in a marriage.

He does curse at me a lot. And when he gets frustrated he jostles things roughly and intentionally. Just now, for instance, he asked if I wanted to watch something (I was in process of putting our son to sleep), I said yes and named something, he realized it was in the box with all the CDs, then began talking in a raised voice, knocked over the papers, and knocked over the trash can when he forcefully dragged the box out. I asked him what was wrong and he muttered something sarcastic under his breath about explaining everything before storming out and slamming the door.

He came back a few minutes later and apologized. Then something else pissed him off and he left in a bad mood again and closed the door only slightly less harshly than the first time. It's like walking on pins and needles around him.

And our son definitely didn't want to go to sleep. I just got him to fall asleep ten minutes after H left the room. Given how tired DS was when we got home, he should have been asleep half an hour ago.

I don't think my husband is a very safe person emotionally. But the question is, what do I do about it? How do I respond to his angry outbursts? I want to respond correctly without making it worse or committing one of the love busters myself.

I will go to the infidelity forum, but it sounds like I should read Dr. Harley's infidelity book first, right? I will go there after I have bought and read it so that I can be on the same page. I read work by Dr. Glass before, but maybe Dr. Harley has different advice.

Please read this. This has almost everything Dr. Harley has written on about angry husbands.

You need to protect your DS and yourself from has AO.
What to do with an Angry Husband

Thank you so much for the link! I will read it right now. We need help.

Can you afford MB coaching or the online program?