Is ww in the area?

Merry Christmas, TD. I hope that you and your son have a joyful time this holiday season. It's a bittersweet time for some many who are on this board, but just remember the reason for the season and take joy in that.

God bless!

Hello Tranquil and a Merry Christmas to you too, and to all here! I hope that you and your son can enjoy a peaceful and happy time. Just a little breather time here right now this Christmas Day before I start preparing a spicy shrimp dinner for my son and his gf who are coming over later this afternoon. Have you made a phone call to your ww today? Just to exchange Christmas greetings. I called my wife (is in a nursing home) last evening and we talked for quite awhile. I was feeling somewhat down yesterday afternoon because the last time we spent Christmas together here was Christmas 2010. But, looking forward to visiting her (she is in a home out-of-state) in early January - not only a chance to see her, but also to get out if this winter weather.

As you approach the new year tho, are you weighing the possibility of going to Plan B instead of continuing with A? I ask that because after this much time that you have endured, from your posts it does not seem that she has moved much at all toward reconciliation with either you or your son.

In any event, have a Blessed Season

Tom.

she's not in the area. Her excuse to DS was she has a new job and couldn't get the days off. DS was semi-upset that he couldn't see his brother. After he talked to her she talked to me for awhile. Just small talks about gifts and her new job. This was on Christmas Eve. I asked what she was doing for Christmas and she said not much.

We got her a stuff animal and card for her birthday. She told DS liked it and that's it's next to the other one we got her and she sleeps with it every night. The stuff animal is from a game we used to play together. For Christmas we got her an earring and necklace set. Sent SS gifts too he loved them. When I asked if she got the package we sent she said yes but it sounded kind of sad in away.

My guess is the package started a fight with her and POSOM. Yet, she kept it and thank me for it. Saying the gifts were from DS and that's why she will accept them. Even though she knows they were from me. We maintained a cheerful conversation about old times as well. I found some old pictures of us together and asked if she wants them.

She said yes, I'm making small deposits in lovebank. I got an email from her Christmas morning about the gifts. Politely responded no problem and tell SS we miss him and love them both. She is missing her old life a lot and I think she is holding on to momentos of that life. Soulmate phase is over people and reality is hitting her.

Its bittersweet but at the same time I'm grateful because my life could be much worse. Just moved into a new state and apartment, my son love his daddy to death, I have a nice job and my health life is good and will only get better. Just got to be that lighthouse for WW.

As far as Plan B goes I plan on emailing Dr. Harley about that sometime in the near future. It's been a year and 2 months, I plan on taking the two years as he suggests. Mentally capable of handling it....for now. If that mental status changes its Plan B for me.

You are doing a great job, TD. Many can learn from your story.

God bless!

Thanks for the words of encouragement. MIL text me that WW is tryiing to get custody of DS. Got my documentation of all the incidents and legal paperwork in order. Honestly, think its just wayward fogbabble because MIL was giving her heck about ruining her life. We shall see...

In other news talked to WW and she sounded depressed. However she perked up about the Christmas gifts, I got her and SS. DS picked the earrings and necklace style and I picked the gemstone was a good time shopping for them. SS was excited at his gift as well. I found an old anniversary card WW sent me when I was away from training. If you didn't know us you'd swear it was from someone else.

I plan on sending another package for SS, got one of his Christmas gifts late. Throwing around the idea of sending it as well as some old photos I found as well. Thoughts? I asked her if she wanted the old pics and made sure I said they were family pics of me, her and the children and I got an overwhelming yes. Thanks Mrs. Justthe3ofus for the "extravagant" gift idea. Happy New Year to everyone as well. Signed up for a half marathon in March so if you don't hear from me in April I died lol.

Good news on the racing.

I think she will be like my ex wife,
she is living her values and is a walk away mom.
My ex wife complains to family etc but truly doesn't want the kids.

Every time I read your thread, I ask Why TQ?

There is a great life without these waywards

But in Plan A I would say YES!
Mail lots of family pics!

Don't forget that the first guy to run a marathon did actually die. Haha! But seriously, from one runner to another, good luck, and train hard.

Quick question, I am moved in and settled and want to try to apply for child support from WW now that she has a job. Is it easy to do? Will that be a good Plan A move? I am the breadwinner but with all the childcare expenses my income has taken a huge hit. Thanks for your advice in advance.

That probably is a question best asked of an attorney from your State.

What are the deciding criteria for being able to receive CS where you are?

Time to look it up on your State or County website.

Do you currently pay any CS to your W?

Who had Primary Custody?

Are there ant Support Orders currently in place, or if not formerly, but shown to be the current status quo?

These would be Some of the influential deciding factors.

LTL

It's part of the reality of the situation. Your wife has a legal and moral responsibility to raise and care for her child. Sadly she has abrogated that responsibility and abandoned him. But the courts can insist that she support him financially, and you should pursue it. In no way is that a violation of Plan A.

If nothing else, she will respect you for standing up to her and showing gumption, so long as you pursue the child support respectfully and without judgment, which I know you will do.

I have appointment set up to talk to them on Tuesday. I have full custody for over a year. Its temporary, I was granted custody after she ran off with DS and divorce is filed. No order for support is in place now. Your right about that, Just.

Yes!
Call the welfare dept and they can tell you what to do for CS.

I have 3 kids...and no CS.
I would encourahe you to seek CS

I also encourage you.

It may help her feel the consequences of her affair.

The only potential drawback I can see is that this may encourage her to hire a lawyer and try and get custody so that YOU will have to be the one giving support. Since she has abandoned her son (it's been a year now if I'm not mistaken) she probably won't have luck with that. And since you are now both in different states, that really complicates things since split custody is not on the table. I don't even know which state handles the divorce. The state you both lived in I would presume. Messy.

Regardless, since she is working, she has an obligation to help you support your son. You should probably ask your attorney about the implications of demanding child support.

My attorney says it will stir a hornet's nest. I am still going to pursue and I have my bases covered if WW wants to try for custody. Since the divorce was started in another state, I filed first, my attorney says she cannot file anywhere else. So all signs point to going for child support. I have an appointment Tuesday to see what I need to do. Thanks everyone for your advice.

This why we listen to lawyers.

TQ,
I think there are two avenues for CS....legal/ courts AND Welfare Agency.
The welfare dept has powers outside of the court...because poor single people gp to the welfare dept all the time and get this (at least I think they do in Ohio and CA)

Have you tried calling the local welfare dept? It may save you legally money

Dr Harley addressed your call today.
He recommended in Plan A to NOT file for child support.
He said to file for child support in Plan B.