To all,<P>Since discovery I have been writing, but not sending letters to my wife and one to the OM.<BR>Here they are:<BR>First day after she told me:<P>Dear -----,<BR> First, Thank you for respecting all of us enough to let us know what has been going on with your life for the last little while. I accept the fact of my own responsibility in the deterioration of our relationship, however I feel I must let you know that I do not justify or condone your behavior. As a result of your being unfaithful I am finding myself in a most difficult situation. If we should wish to work things out, you need to cut off all contact with the other person. Please accept this as a request and not a demand. If and when you do so and would consider getting our Life back on track, I am not against having a councelor help us to understand the needs we have that are not being met. <BR> To spare ourselves and anyone else involved in the obvious pain of everyday face to face, not knowing what to do or say, I feel the necessity to be seperate from you. I believe this will help both of us to see things more clearly. In the next few weeks I have decided to start packing my stuff and looking for a place to stay while you consider what it is that you want. I would like enough time to pay off my credit card and unentangle myself from any other debts or obligations that we hold.<BR> As for me , I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that God will continue to take care of all of us. I, and others, will be praying with all our hearts for His will to be done. <BR> I am so sorry for reacting the ways I did to many of the frustrating circumstances we found ourselves in. All I ever wanted was your Love and attention and to show you how much I care and love you, and for both of us to work at this for a lifetime. It was your free choice to marry me when I asked and you still have that freedom of choice to remain and work or to leave and start over. You are a truly loving and giving person and I thank God for the privelidge of knowing you as I have. God bless you in the days ahead.<P>Second to OM:<P>Dear Whoever,<BR> While we have never met I feel I need to say a few things to you. I understand that you have already been through a divorce. So have I. So we both know the pain that can bring to all the families involved. I was also led to believe that you believe in God. I don't, however, know if that belief has led you to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.<BR> ---- has told me that you and her are involved. I do know that the two of you have become emotionally attached to the other. I don't know if the two of you have had intercourse. She says that that information is personal. If she feels safe enough to stay at your house and you have been listening to her problems and experiencing extremely pleasant and intense feelings for each other, the climate certainly exists for the event to occur. I am her husband and as such, these things concern me a great deal. If neither of you is able or willing to put a stop to this I see great Spiritual harm to many as a result. This unfaithfulness will haunt you for the rest of your lives and beyond this earth if it is not stoped before it is too late.<BR> If both of you decide this is what you want, obviously, there is no more I and others of the Body of Christian believers can do but continue to sound the warning and to keep you in our prayers. If Any of us is off base here God Himself is certainly able to step in and reveal the truth to us.<BR> I know that I have part of the responsibility for this set of cicumstances resting on me. I am not perfect either. It is my intention to try to get ---- and I to resolve whatever stands in the way of our continuing our relationship. If we use the world's standards to judge this situation instead of the Word of God, I know that it makes sense for the two of you to stay involved. How can anything that feels so good and right not be right? Believe me I've been there! I made the foolish mistake of stepping out on my first wife only to have it blow up in my face. Had I imagined what lay ahead for me I would never had taken the plunge. I was scared. Partly due to the effect it had on my relationship to God and what I saw happen to the women I was with. I saw her husband start beating her and him ending up in jail as a result. I lost my kids and my house and my "Home". I lost respect for myself.<BR> I will try with all the might and help of God to see this thing through to a happy ending for all involved. I love ---- dearly and have invested the last 6 years to rebuild my life with her. I will not try to dictate to either of you what to do! Both of you have your own personal battles to wage and I won't presume to know what either of you are up against, but please consider these words carefully as you plan for your futures.<P>Yours in the Love of Christ,<BR>John <P>2nd letter to wife I wrote this afternoon:<P>-----,<BR> I am feeling soooo sad over the recent turn of events. I know that love for me is a hard thing to define and you know how agonizing are being together has been. In it's essence I want you to know how much I desire you to be a happy fullfilled person. I had hoped I could somehow contribute to your sense of freedom and see you free to feel all the things that God intended for you to enjoy.<BR> Yes, I resent at this time that I am not the one apparently able to do this for you. I hate seeing the pain all of us are registering. I forgive you!!!!!! Forgive me for all the pain I have contributed. I hope we will be able to forgive and forget in time. I will never hold this time in our lives against you. I Love you with an everlasting love and that's the bottom line. You are the best and deserve as many chances at love and happiness as anyone. It is hard not to be judgemental and position blame but the good news is that we don't have to. I am determined not to. Only in the things that pertain to my words and actions will I judge whether I was right or wrong. I know you struggle with the same. Stop beating yourself up and don't let anyone else do it either!!!!. Life is not over for either of us. This brief stay in this strange place is only so we may learn the lessons of love so we will be fitted for our true Home. Thanks again for the best times in my miserable twisted sin filled life.<BR> I will always treasure the memories of the good times we were able to spend together. You made me feel like somebody important to you. Someone of worth; of good substance. You are a very "Special" and unique creation. We all need what you have to give. Believe we are growing, shedding the old skin of our former lives, and that the pain is natural. That we will adjust to the new skin as will the others around us. Be strong. Embrace the changes. Emerge in victory. It is your destiny as a child of the Father.<BR> Nuff' Said. <P>------------------<BR>John<p>[This message has been edited by MusicMan (edited November 06, 1999).]
