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I think that letter is very much in accordance with the No Contact portion of MB concepts.
I am just thinking out loud though here..... Does anyone feel that adding one final statement about if the POSOM EVER tries to come into contact with your W ever again, then a Restraining Order will be pursued very aggressively with filing a Restraining Order against him.
LTL
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I think it's perfect. And I think he will take it seriously since he just found out that if she even sees him she is calling you right away.
I'd also add that what you did originally regarding workplace exposure was right in line with what Dr Harley recommends in the newest edition of SAA. So I wouldn't beat myself up about it. FTF Thanks I missed that. I just got a call from her and she talked to her boss and he said that he would personally call POSOM and tell him to stay away.
Me 59 newly married after being a widow Married 1 year
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I think that letter is very much in accordance with the No Contact portion of MB concepts.
I am just thinking out loud though here..... Does anyone feel that adding one final statement about if the POSOM EVER tries to come into contact with your W ever again, then a Restraining Order will be pursued very aggressively with filing a Restraining Order against him.
LTL LTL thank you also for the imput! What you are saying is it needs to be worded stronger is that correct?
Me 59 newly married after being a widow Married 1 year
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I think that letter is very much in accordance with the No Contact portion of MB concepts.
I am just thinking out loud though here..... Does anyone feel that adding one final statement about if the POSOM EVER tries to come into contact with your W ever again, then a Restraining Order will be pursued very aggressively with filing a Restraining Order against him.
LTL LTL thank you also for the imput! What you are saying is it needs to be worded stronger is that correct? You have this one time unique opportunity to come down heavy handed, even more so than just the very well written response your W already drafted. I think that the both of you representing a Strong Unified Team standing together stating that NO breaking of the NC EP's will kick this POSOM further down the curb. Did your W write that draft on her own, or did you make suggestions on the wording or use one of the NC templates from this site? If that original draft is all her own wording, i highly commend her for strictly adhering to continuing Just Compensation. If so, you should be very proud of the changes she has made in herself and please make sure to affirm your appreciation for her efforts and mind frame. LTL
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The letter doesn't "Need" to be more firmly worded, but i think it's an admirable joint action to firmly relay how serious you both feel.
LTL
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I think that letter is very much in accordance with the No Contact portion of MB concepts.
I am just thinking out loud though here..... Does anyone feel that adding one final statement about if the POSOM EVER tries to come into contact with your W ever again, then a Restraining Order will be pursued very aggressively with filing a Restraining Order against him.
LTL LTL thank you also for the imput! What you are saying is it needs to be worded stronger is that correct? You have this one time unique opportunity to come down heavy handed, even more so than just the very well written response your W already drafted. I think that the both of you representing a Strong Unified Team standing together stating that NO breaking of the NC EP's will kick this POSOM further down the curb. Did your W write that draft on her own, or did you make suggestions on the wording or use one of the NC templates from this site? If that original draft is all her own wording, i highly commend her for strictly adhering to continuing Just Compensation. If so, you should be very proud of the changes she has made in herself and please make sure to affirm your appreciation for her efforts and mind frame. LTL LTL' She set down and read three letters. 2 from the Forum and one from SAA. She then set down and wrote it out on her own. She handed it to me to read and the only thing I suggested was she add one word. The rest is all my DW's She liked the second one in the Notable post thread and that is the one she based her's on. I am extremely proud of her and have told her so several times. She has deposited so many LB$ by her fierce defense of our marriage and me! She had her meeting with her boss today and she told him about the whole affair and said that she has worked very hard at recovering our marriage and cannot work with POSOM coming in at anytime. He said that that will not happen again that he would personally take care of that. She pushed through her shame and embarrassment and this morning when she got home she told me I was worth it.
Me 59 newly married after being a widow Married 1 year
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I can readily relate to what you two are going through, because the experience for me and my wife would be identical if POSOM ever tried to make contact with her.
I think you both are handling it perfectly.
me-65 wife-61 married for 40 years DS - 38, autistic, lives at home DD - 37, married and on her own DS - 32, still living with us
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She had her meeting with her boss today and she told him about the whole affair and said that she has worked very hard at recovering our marriage and cannot work with POSOM coming in at anytime. He said that that will not happen again that he would personally take care of that. She pushed through her shame and embarrassment and this morning when she got home she told me I was worth it. Did this make any LB deposits in her LB account with you? It would for me. Again, she is PROVING to you through her actions that she is committed to your marriage. She is not afraid to stand up for you. Just awesome. What a beautiful thing. Maybe you could consider taking her out on a night she will never forget??? Reward her for such a thoughtful act by showering her with your love and affection. I can imagine that this is really bringing both of you together. How have you been reacting to this? Have you maintained your composure by keeping your cool and thanked her? It could be very easy to be triggered by this and go into withdraw. I hope you are allowing this to be a bonding experience!
Last edited by 20YearHistory; 02/26/14 01:48 PM.
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I can readily relate to what you two are going through, because the experience for me and my wife would be identical if POSOM ever tried to make contact with her.
I think you both are handling it perfectly. +1...although he seems to be keeping his cool with that POS much better than I probably would
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Wle2,
He told me that he wanted to get his son hired there and he knows alot of the people working here.
Does this son of OM know what his father did? How widespread was exposure of OM.
Amazing that OM is still in the fog about your W.
God Bless Gamma
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She had her meeting with her boss today and she told him about the whole affair and said that she has worked very hard at recovering our marriage and cannot work with POSOM coming in at anytime. He said that that will not happen again that he would personally take care of that. She pushed through her shame and embarrassment and this morning when she got home she told me I was worth it. Did this make any LB deposits in her LB account with you? It would for me. Again, she is PROVING to you through her actions that she is committed to your marriage. She is not afraid to stand up for you. Just awesome. What a beautiful thing. Maybe you could consider taking her out on a night she will never forget??? Reward her for such a thoughtful act by showering her with your love and affection. I can imagine that this is really bringing both of you together. How have you been reacting to this? Have you maintained your composure by keeping your cool and thanked her? It could be very easy to be triggered by this and go into withdraw. I hope you are allowing this to be a bonding experience! 20year' It is off the charts how many LB$ she deposited! I know how hard it was for her to speak to her boss. There is a bouquet of flowers on the table for her to wake up to as I write this. I have been telling how much her protecting me and our marriage has made me love her even more. I was hugging her yesterday evening and asked if she were alright and how did this contact make her feel. She said " Mad, upset,I want you, look who's arms I'm in! I will do what ever I have to do to make you feel safe." As far as keeping my composure, She told me as soon as it happened. The POSOM was not there when I got there. I told him three times during our phone conversation I was on the way up there, I do not know for sure if I would have been as civil in person. I think my calm level voice talking to him unnerved him some. I did not yell or curse just repeated that he leave my wife alone. And asking about his spiritual condition may have helped also. It has been a bonding experience and that is primarily because of her reaction and taking the initiative in writing the letter and speaking to her plant manager as soon as she could.
Me 59 newly married after being a widow Married 1 year
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Wle2,
He told me that he wanted to get his son hired there and he knows alot of the people working here.
Does this son of OM know what his father did? How widespread was exposure of OM.
Amazing that OM is still in the fog about your W.
God Bless Gamma Gamma After this the prospects of POSOM's son getting hired is null. The Manager DW spoke to was upset that POSOM was on the property especially on an off shift. I believe that was a lie because the same manager does the hiring and he is on the day shift. He was there to see my wife! He did not leave the company on good terms anyway. I am surprised also about his sniffing around. She will only have to be on this shift for about a month or less. We did not expose at work when this started. She told the manager today. He "had" to retire and had been gone a few years when the A started so we did not think we needed to expose at work. I do not know his son at all.
Me 59 newly married after being a widow Married 1 year
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It is off the charts how many LB$ she deposited! I know how hard it was for her to speak to her boss.
She told me as soon as it happened. These 2 points alone signal a strong recovery! Couldn't be happier for you. Sometimes I kind of wish my FWW could be 'tested' in this way to see if her walls would hold strong. On the other hand I don't! We haven't had a situation yet in our R that has tested us in this way. Good or bad...I don't know... Part of me feels that she would be strong as a rock...the other part of me wonders. Again, so happy for you. Really a great outcome to a tricky situation.
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It is off the charts how many LB$ she deposited! I know how hard it was for her to speak to her boss.
She told me as soon as it happened. These 2 points alone signal a strong recovery! Couldn't be happier for you. Sometimes I kind of wish my FWW could be 'tested' in this way to see if her walls would hold strong. On the other hand I don't! We haven't had a situation yet in our R that has tested us in this way. Good or bad...I don't know... Part of me feels that she would be strong as a rock...the other part of me wonders. Again, so happy for you. Really a great outcome to a tricky situation. Thank you! I am so proud of her! My friend you don't want this! Driving there Sunday night was the longest trip and my mind was racing! I hate she had to see him in person and don't want to have it happen again. I would not be here were it not for MB! MY DW has latched on to the principles. Thank you again!
Me 59 newly married after being a widow Married 1 year
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When DW got home we talked about what she was feeling after having talked to her manager. She said she was nervous, embarrassed but determined to do what she has to for us.
She looked at me and said EP's right. Then she said remember how I told you you saved me when you found out I was having an A, you saved me again Sunday night by coming up there for me.
Okay,my face hurts from the big dopey grin that has been on it for the past 24 hours!
We have looked at our other EP's to see if there are any other weak points. DW' s H&O and transparency now coupled with the work exposure has filled that gap.
We talked about how we need to be aware of potential threats to our marriage. If I would have known 10 years ago that he had hit on her at work I would be able to take precautions to protect us.
Now that we have a MB M she said she not only would tell me if anyone ever does make advances towards her again but she even went so far as to say that she will tell me if she were to have feelings for anyone.
Again the grin just won't go away.
Me 59 newly married after being a widow Married 1 year
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Hurts?
Put some ice on that face.
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Hurts?
Put some ice on that face. TheRoad Don't mention Ice to a Georgia boy, Our state might shut down for two days! Actually you are the first one to apply some healing ice over two years ago. You were the first one to respond to my cry's for help on this forum, Thank you for all the help and guidance.
Me 59 newly married after being a widow Married 1 year
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Well if you insist I will take all the credit. Though many of the MB Big Guns rolled in to help such as Pepperband, MSS.
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Yes there are some real MB MVP's that I will forever be thankful for!
Me 59 newly married after being a widow Married 1 year
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When DW got home we talked about what she was feeling after having talked to her manager. She said she was nervous, embarrassed but determined to do what she has to for us.
She looked at me and said EP's right. Then she said remember how I told you you saved me when you found out I was having an A, you saved me again Sunday night by coming up there for me.
Okay,my face hurts from the big dopey grin that has been on it for the past 24 hours!
We have looked at our other EP's to see if there are any other weak points. DW' s H&O and transparency now coupled with the work exposure has filled that gap.
We talked about how we need to be aware of potential threats to our marriage. If I would have known 10 years ago that he had hit on her at work I would be able to take precautions to protect us.
Now that we have a MB M she said she not only would tell me if anyone ever does make advances towards her again but she even went so far as to say that she will tell me if she were to have feelings for anyone.
Again the grin just won't go away. That's fantastic news, wle. It's so good that you both are following EPs and take extraordinary care for each other.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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