I keep a copy of my custody order in my wallet at all times.
Make sure you keep a copy of yhe restraining order on you at all times

Eden,

You handled the situation on Wednesday well, and that is great news regarding the support that your family will be giving you. I would at this point keep the focus on the kids and getting a better job.

Your WW is now feeling the full consequences of her choices. The fantasy bubble is popped, yet its clear that she is still not willing to let go of the crack pipe.

If you are in Plan A remember that your communications with her must show that you love her and make it clear that if she decides to end her affair and truly recover the marriage that you will work with her to ensure a loving relationship.

If you are close to Plan B, then you need to draft your Plan B letter that will also be written in a loving way.

Otherwise its Plan D.

You are being strong and doing very well in this difficult situation. Keep on keeping on, brother.

She is wanting to keep the kids tonight, when i am supposed to have them back tonight and all weekend. I will try to taext her one more time to get them back, then threaten to call police, and if i have to i'll call them.

I would just call the police dont bother to text her again she is goading you into a fight to use against you at court.

Please be more careful when dealing with her. Unfortunately your reluctance to act quickly is causing you many issues

Not contacting the school and child services first and informing them of her affair has cost you a well needed advantage.

Not contacting the police when she was at your home immediately has left an opportunity for her to go to the police and file a frivolous charge against you.

Not contacting the police when she has broken her restrictions before has led to you being complacent to her behaviour. She can now claim you permitted her access to your home and risk your RO.

Please start to act more quickly and take your wife wayward behaviour seriously as it should be taken with all seriousness.

Call the police this time and let them deal with it. Remove yourself from a harmful situation and show her you are serious about sticking to the rules of the Ro. You keep enabeling her dispicable behaviour and that's only going to lead to more unnecessary suffering for all parties involved, least of all the kids.

Don't text her.
If the kids aren't dropped off on time call the police

Actually, without anything signed by a judge regarding custody, she doesn't have to give the kids back. I have dealt with the police about this before when kiss called the cops on me for not letting him see the kids. They won't intervene in custody issues, they will only arrive for a domestic dispute and make sure it is resolved safely.

Have you looked into getting custody through family court?

For child exchanges, you can also use the lobby of your local police department.

It's not a custody issue it's an RO issue that has gone before a judge already and there are strict rules in place for the children. This poster is already wasting time by not taking the appropriate immediate actions required to adhere to the RO stipulations, see page 10/11 of this thread for the full picture.

I went to the house where she is staying and texted her to please send the kids out. When she did not respond I called the police. They talked to her, then interviewed the children separate from her. They told me the kids said to them that they wanted to stay with her until Sunday night. As Rocketqueen said they could not make the kids leave. So I did what I could tonight and I will have the kid back Sunday night. I believe I am starting to get some balls, though I have gotten a late start. Parenting time after Sunday will have to be negotiated through the lawyers, since the RO hearing has been adjourned further. I will ask my attorney if I can start a custody case before the RO is finalized. Again, from what my attorney knows so far she was not so sure that I would get custody, but time will tell.

So this weekend I will focus on working and finding a better job.

I was reviewing the Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. Last night which was helpful to me. I have been practicing the �You tell �em I�m comin,� and hell�s comin� with me! You hear?� line throughout the day. It helps.

Did you show the police your court order?
I thought the judge specified parenting time

It was my mistake not to request custody of the kids when I initially got the TRO. The judge at the hearing did not change custody at all pending child protective recommendations, at the final hearing, which I don't yet have an exact date for since the adjournment was requested when the court was closed for the holiday week.

I did show them the TRO. Still they said they could not make the kids leave. I think this really has to do with the fact that there was no change of custody when I initiated the RO.

Also, the friend with whom my wife is staying was/is dating a cop on the police force that was involved tonight, and may know other cops. I'm not sure that that really had any influence tonight or not.

I would not do plan A or Plan B
Just try to get full custody, based on Dr Harleys advice to you

I understand it's an RO issue, but it has nothing to do with the kids and seems as flimsy as the paper it's on since there has still been contact between Eden and his WW.

Eden, it wouldn't have mattered. I work for a large police agency and knew one of the cops that came to my house and I still had to let the kids go with their Dad. The cops hands are tied unless you have a judge signed doc with specific custody arrangements. I urge you (as the police already did, I'm sure) to get that as soon as you can. It can take a while to get a hearing.

Eden,
Hang in there and just focus on your kids.
Also there is a group you may wanr to check out: Parents Without Partners.

When she starts yhreatening you with a kitchen knife that's it.
She's crazy and you need to protect your kids from her

I got the lock on my apartment changed today. I don't think she came back in after she left the ther day, but it won't happen again.

I have a question about talking with my kids abut this whole situation. How much is appropriate to tell the kids about court proceedings and judge's ruling on parenting time, since my wife is "letting the kids decide" which one of us they want to go with? Also, how much do I tell them about why WW and I are apart right now? They know about the A already, since I exposed to them. And they witnessed part of the physical assault, though not the knife part. I have told them that because mommy hurt me that we need some time apart, and relate that to how physical altercations between the kids have been handled at our house. When you hurt someone you need to separate, go into different rooms for a while. Then when you are calm we can come back and talk about the situation, how we could avoid it in the future, apologize, etc. Interestingly, the way we handle those situations at home is different from how my daughter sees them handled at school. When someone hurts another person at school, the aggressor is sent to the principal's office and perhaps punished. There is not much communication between the involved parties after the incident.

Last night, before I went with the police to pick kids up, but after I called my daughter and told her I was coming, my daughter punched my wife, and punched the tile floor at the house she is staying. Daughter told me this when the police allowed me to talk to the kids. She said she just couldn�t control her hands. This is something I am really concerned about. My wife has said in the past that my daughter never hit mom before mom hit her. Now, there were not many times when my wife did hit daughter. We have been opposed to even spanking from the start of our parenting experience. I know of one instance in the last couple years where my wife slapped daughter in the face (I need to confirm this with daughter because my memory is a little foggy). Also, my daughter still tells other people about an incident where my wife, in anger, smooshed a slice of pizza in my daughter�s face (this maybe only a year ago or so). I am truly concerned that my kids are learning this behavior from their mother. I have never hit WW or the kids.

At bedtime lately she has been complaining that she needs something to do with her hands, to keep them busy (she would prefer the iphone). Before we got the iphone my daughter was really into crafting and reading in her free time. Since iphone it is very difficult to get her off the thing, to do her homework, eat dinner, or even fun activities she used to enjoy. I am making some progress and looking into ways to set limits on phone use. I guess I could say I don�t want it in the house, but then daughter would likely want to stay with mommy more. The phone bill is in WW�s name anyway, so we�ll see if she really can continue to pay for it, if what she said is true and she really did lose her job last week.

I would have the kids visit a child counselor and tell yhe counselor yhat your wife is an abuser and may have abused the kids

And smashing pizza in a kids face is wrong.
That's why Harley told you to get away from this insane woman
When you first came here you didn't mention this or the kitchen knife. But Harley has been around enough to read between the lines.
She is crazy.
(Just like my ex)

As you do your own form of trickle truth about your wifes bizarre behavior and spend more time away from her you will see just how bizarre she is

File for divorce