The 2 times that I told him we needed to file we talked about who would leave. When I married him, I moved to where he lived which is 45 minutes away from where I am from. I would have to completely uproot my daughter from her school, friends, etc. He does have family all around here that he could stay with. His grandmother lives right beside us.

The 2 times that I told him we needed to file we talked about who would leave. When I married him, I moved to where he lived which is 45 minutes away from where I am from. I would have to completely uproot my daughter from her school, friends, etc. He does have family all around here that he could stay with. His grandmother lives right beside us.

He told them all about it before I ever knew. On DD when I confronted him, I asked who all knew. I was shocked! Both his parents, his best friend and his wife.

My daughter is oblivious to what is going on. She's completely in the dark. I have considered asking him to leave. Right now, I don't want to ruin my daughter's Christmas.

From the description you gave of your stepdaughter's behavior around the house and her frequent phone calls with OW, there's a good chance your daughter already has a clue about her father's affair.

Hello, all. I'm new here, but have lurked for a little while now. I'm really hoping to get some help if at all possible. My story is complicated�please bear with me.

My husband and I have been married going on 12 years. I am 42 and he is 35. We have 2 girls�.a 15 yr old (from his 1st marriage) and a 9 yr old together. I found out in September that he had been having an affair since July. Both of our girls play travel softball and he is the head coach of our oldest's team. The OW is a mom of one of the girls on the team. Her daughter is our daughter's best friend off the team.

Before DD, my husband had began pretty much ignoring me. He wouldn't look at me, be in a car with me, and would not be home alone with me. I had asked my husband 3 separate times prior to DD if he was having an affair, and he always said no. When I had proof that he could no longer deny it, I confronted him. He said he'd end it�of course, this didn't happen. He said he wasn't emotionally connected to me any longer and he enjoyed talking to the OW. He said it was new, exciting. He said that he had a lot of anger from over the years. I was not that into sex for a long time. We averaged once per month. I take full responsibility for that. I should have gone to the doctor to get help where that was concerned. He also informed me that my stepdaughter hated me and that I've been nothing but mean to her during our marriage.

My stepdaughter and I have had a rocky relationship. She does not like to be told what to do at all. We've had rounds over chores, but her only chores were taking out the garbage and unloading the dishwasher�.which she no longer does either of those. I've never tried to be her friend, and I didn't feel I should. In my opinion, she needed structure and discipline�neither of which she got at her mother's.

I found out that my stepdaughter was pushing for my husband to leave me for the OW. She is in the middle of the whole affair�she knows way more about it than I do. She is constantly on the phone with the OW. If I leave the house, she lets the OW know she can call my husband. I don't even feel comfortable in my own home anymore. She's the OW's eyes and ears to everything that goes on in this house.

I told my husband on 2 separate occasions that we should just file. I told him I wanted to do it as nicely as possible. Each time he would start backtracking. He asked for time. He went to his mothers for 2 days to find "him". When he came back, he said he was about ready to work on our marriage.

He has since been really loving toward me. But, at the same time, he's still seeing her. He's told me several times that he had ended it�only for me to find out otherwise. I found out that he had seen her last Wednesday. I just told him I couldn't do this any longer. He said that he would end it last Friday and would give me his trac fone that she has paid for him to have this whole time.

After he got home from work last Friday, he came in and said he ended it again. He did give me the phone which only had 1 service day left on it. We talked some and everything seemed really good.

Monday we were talking and I was telling him things that had gone through my head throughout this whole ordeal�like he was just using me until he didn't need me anymore. I was just trying to be honest and get some things off my chest. Well, the next thing I knew he was angry and was asking me if I had been having him followed or had I put a tracking device on his phone or truck. I was completely shocked. I have never done any of those things. I knew when he saw her because he keeps a shirt in his truck to change into when he does. I had informed him earlier in this that she sheds. I just placed the shirt where I'd know if he had put it on and took it off. But he says it had to be more than the shirt.

He's been different since all that. Then last night she called his cell twice and I'm pretty sure he saw her. Also, my stepdaughter was in a decent mood and then all of a sudden went to hollering and screaming and twerking (yes, i said twerking) around the house. It was absolutely crazy. She was in the best mood EVER. So, I believe the OW let her know they saw each other.

At this point, I just don't know what to do. I love my husband so much and I want to save my marriage�.but how much can I take? I'm down to 95 pounds. Any and all advice appreciated.

I

Also, I promise that my 9 yr old has NO idea anything is going on. My stepdaughters actions are totally done for my acknowledgement only. She has not clued my daughter in on anything...my husband would be furious. And my 9 yr old is also a VERY open child. She asks many questions if she is bothered by something. I would definitely know if she had any idea.

I have not.