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It IS necessary.
Yes, your marriage is stronger but an alcoholic does not stay clean by sitting in a bar all day long with his same drinking buddies.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Just want to wish all my fellow MBers a very happy new year! Thank you all for the guidance and support you have given me in 2013. May 2014 be a great year for all of us! 
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Brainhurts, would you mind linking the 12/25 (a rebroadcast maybe)
show for me involving a caller named Lakesha (?). The question she had was how to make her marriage work and Dr Harley answered her with all of the requirements including lifestyle changes, etc. I'd really like to write down what he said as a goal for myself.
Thanks!
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Brainhurts, would you mind linking the 12/25 (a rebroadcast maybe)
show for me involving a caller named Lakesha (?). The question she had was how to make her marriage work and Dr Harley answered her with all of the requirements including lifestyle changes, etc. I'd really like to write down what he said as a goal for myself.
Thanks! Unless we know what the date of the rebroadcasted show I won't know which show it is. I tried searching by the name, but that hasn't worked either. Maybe someone knows what the date is?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Alright, thanks for trying.
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Brainhurts, would you mind linking the 12/25 (a rebroadcast maybe)
show for me involving a caller named Lakesha (?). The question she had was how to make her marriage work and Dr Harley answered her with all of the requirements including lifestyle changes, etc. I'd really like to write down what he said as a goal for myself.
Thanks! RQ, is the date Christmas Day? 12/25?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Or does Brainy mean that she needs the original date?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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I listened to it on the morning of the 26th so yes, it would have been the broadcast from Christmas Day, but I'm sure it was a rebroadcast from earlier in the year so Brainy probably needs the original date. The caller was Latesha or Lakesha and had written a few times to the Harleys but had 1 sentence questions that they were trying to put together. Does that sound familiar, SugarCane?
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Or does Brainy mean that she needs the original date? Yes, I need the original date.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Happy New Year RQ. Thinking about and praying for you and your family. All the best. to you in 2014
Married 31 years, 5 kids, 4 GK
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RQ:
Was that you on the radio program today? (January 9/14)...
Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
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Yes, catwhit, it was!
Although Dr Harley said he didn't feel it was necessary (though he had told me before it was), I am going ahead with my plan to move out of state. I think it is the best thing to do.
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I understood him to say it MAY not be necessary.... if you were able to find a way to spend the 15 hours together consistently.
However, you are the one dealing with the triggers. You are the one who decides what is/is not workable for you.
Did I understand correctly that you are not sure if kiss will follow you to your new state?
Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
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Do you agree with Dr. Harley's assessment that kiss is "semi-commitred" to making the marriage work at this point?
Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
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catwhit, I am pretty positive that Kiss would go to Florida as long as I am the one making it happen. As in quitting my job, packing, finding a place to stay, etc. I am usually the one who "steers the ship". So if I make the leap, he'll jump after me.
I agree with what Dr Harley said about Kiss being "semi-cooperative". I was hoping Dr Harley would expand more on how to change that. Though I know that I can't really change it. All I can do is make the move and work on a fresh start.
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RQ,
My friend I listened to your show twice and I took from it that Dr. Harley was giving you the formula for change by suggesting to you to start the process.
Grab that bull by the horns and make the first step and see if Kiss doesn't pick up the pace!
I feel your frustration, Dr. Harley also mentioned that in some cases that once a FWS feels that the crises has passed they tend to slow the process and don't feel the urgency they had at the beginning.
You guys have come so far and have been such an inspiration! Don't settle for good if you want great, good luck!
Me 59 newly married after being a widow
Married 1 year
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Thanks, wle2! Totally agree with you. I'm really excited about this.
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