I was thinking the same thing. How many women are there who don't have any children of their own, don't want any children of their own, but are willing to raise someone else's three kids? I mean, they might exist, but that's going to be a pretty small number. Most of the women I know who don't have kids and don't want them made a conscious choice to be child-free, and they wouldn't be open to raising someone else's kids either.

Honestly, it comes across as kind of hypocritical to say you want a woman who doesn't have kids, but is willing to accept and raise yours. If I were single, this sort of requirement would be a huge turnoff for me, even if I didn't have children.

I am willing to have another kid.
I'm not closed to that option;

Also all the blogs I read said to avoid any negative talk, such as bankruptcy, divorce etcon the profile.

The reason why I dont want a single mom (preferably ; This is not set in stone) is because there can be conflict with kids and ex husbands/ boyfriends

Well understood.

I wouldn't rule out women that had children, though. Those that are parents have a different perspective on things than, say, a single 28 year old hipster type that doesn't understand that you do not get to call in sick once you have kids.

You may find that you have more in common with someone that has had similar life experiences.

I'm not saying it should be discussed. Just give a much more realistic picture. What you are looking for and what you can provide contradict each other. What woman wants to be with a man with three kids, expect to raise them, and possibly a fourth with someone whose financial house isn't in order? I cannot think of an emotionally healthy woman who would sign up for this.

If you pick a single woman who will continue to work, will she be okay with picking up the financial slack that cannot come from you and your three kids, i.e. you get no child support and/or your lifestyles will not mesh. Can you financially carry a family of six (if she does have a baby) without losing the time with your kids?

The single most important part to dating me is the fact that I will not be responsible for taking on the burden of the guy's finances. I cannot put my kid's financial future at risk by carrying two households. That isn't fair to my kids.

Therefore it is one of the first topic of discussions ... because there is no point in moving forward unless I understand where he is financially

True, there can be. But you are asking a woman to take on these conflicts that might exist with your kids/ex, while telling the woman you aren't willing to deal with any of this on her end.

I should clarify that I just want to date and have good conversations.
I dont want to have deep marriage discussions with dates on the first or second date.
Or is this not feasible in my age group?

Then have friends only and don't use a dating website to meet them. Women in their 30's/40's are wanting marriage, or they want to be freeloaders. Most want to find a great boyfriend, and to get married. No one wants to be alone.

If you want just friends use Meet-up and not OKcupid.

I dont want just friends though;
I want a girlfriend....
but not a wife at this point

I just dont want to have dates that are immediate interviews...
dates like when I was younger!

I'm going to suspend my dating profile until I have the following:

1. A list of qualities I am looking for and

2. A system for interacting with women

Dr Love claims his system is the best; I read a little about it and it consists of being vague and a man of mystery to women.
Does anyone know if this works?

The rule of thumb is to have the first two or three dates start as freeloader, and then you move into renter.

I am very confused by your mission here. Like so many are saying all I am hearing is "Meet my needs" and don't be too much trouble, i.e. bring your past issues (divorce, ex-h, kids) into this new relationship from me.

I don't think this is your goal, so let me ask you some questions.

1) Are you sure you have your own emotional baggage in order?

I ask this because the kind of woman you want and what you have to offer are not one in the same. This is why I tell you to go out and just meet women (good, bad, silly, selfish, etc.) Meet all kinds ... learn from them. See what you like and don't like.

2) What are you willing to not have?

Because most women in their late 30's (even those without kids) were likely married once. What is the difference between a woman with an ex-husband and one with kids?

3) How do you plan to woo these women?

It sounds like you want them to be this person (yet very few women are like what you want). Women want to be chased and woo'd ... sometimes I hear from your feedback you have no desire to chase a woman or woo her. What then? How do you plan to compete with all the other men? The kind of woman you desire is a rarity, so you will need to be the one who outshines the rest of them.

4) What are you doing to beat out the competition?

I dont think I have a plan as you detailed above but I've been reading about Doc Loves system and he advocates men to be "Spartans" and not drool over women; he advocates attracting them to you through his System.

His book is $99 but I found a used on on Amazon for $50.....maybe I should go ahead and buy it.

I'm thinking back to all the John Wayne movies I've watched and he never pursued the women; they pursued him; also Ayn Rand taught that like values will attract like values....

My ideal candidate would be a 26 year old foreign beauty queen with no emotional issues, no alcohol/ drug/ mental health issues, etc.....but obviously I know thats not possible.

You do realize there is a difference between reality and fiction right?

Jedi ... just jump in with both feet. Who cares what you meet at this point? The goal is to simply see what is out there. That will take a certain level of vulnerability on your part.

I used to analyze dating when I first got divorced. Then I started dating ... and dating ... and dating ... and getting guy friends ... and dating ... and getting more guy friends.

I've been burned, lied to, seduced, felt very confused, felt very angry, hated it at times, and loved it so much ...!

Welcome to the 21st Century of Dating!!! It's all about the craziness...nothing resembles how it used to be. It is all about the competition.

Are you saying that men have to fight out competition to win a good woman?
Is every date a fight against the competition?

Jedi...Really? Dr. Harley repeatedly states in thousands and thousands of pages of documentation ... pursue the woman!!!

Yes ... Yes ... Yes ... and YES!!!!

I'm logging off after this ... but this screams to me I have no idea how to properly care for a woman, and it's all about me, and please don't be any trouble for me woman!

This is a serious question ... are you sure you are not really a freeloader? I derive that from your posts, your dating profile, and your feedback today. I'd run from you if I read you online!

Well, I've been chastised my some mods for not being familiar with MB principles and perhaps this is an area.
I've never heard Harley say to pursue a woman in dating.

Where does he say this?