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#2771577 12/18/13 12:07 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 2
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Joined: Dec 2013
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The nightmare started when I came to know about my wife's affair. She wasn't even sure about her own child that who is the father. The DNA result claims that its not mine.

I was deeply in love with my wife, that I wrote her name on my body through tattoo which was her first valentine gift. My wife grew up at her close relatives where she never received adequate love from her father. The beginning period of our marriage was great but suddenly she started to feel sad and lonely as if I framed couple of things during marriage and brought her abroad. She started to come close to one of our close relative ( married & has 2 adult kids) which turned out to be an emotional affair. Their closeness turned into physical affair where she even forgot to use condom during sex. She was so mad in love & sex that started listening to that person about using the pills while having sex so they can enjoy the real touch. She might have a sex with me also during that time period using pills so that if something goes wrong then the child can be mine and that person is safe with his **** because of pills. She forgot to take pills and luckily his **** got fertilized not mine.

She was thinking to give me a divorce at that time where her pregnancy came in-between. I was in love with her at that time so didn't agree for divorce. I am pretty much sure that the culture and relationship also played an important part where there was no way for them to get married or live together. Their affair never lasted long & I came to know about her incident where she asked me for forgiveness by saying that �please try to forgive me � I know I have made big mistake and I will be your slave for whole life�. I tried to forgive her but somehow became an alcoholic and went for sex at massage parlors. The only difference was that I informed her about my incident where she tried to hide it.

She suffered from a serious illness soon after and was barely able to survive so I decided to quit drinking and told her to start a new life where it will be only me and her. She still has that grudge about �going outside for affairs was because of me as I was not able to take care of her in the beginning of the marriage�. I still try to let it go as women have tendencies of arguing things without any logic. As we all live in a fast track western culture life, I asked my wife about **** and other fantasy but she was not ready for it. She treats such kind of things as �dirty & nasty� . I might be wrong or too forward for asking such kind of things to my wife but what about the enjoyment and satisfaction that she got during affairs. I don�t know how & what do people enjoy during affairs but if she can have sex without using condoms just to get the enjoyment ( I guess so ) then why not ****? When ever I ask her about her sex during the affair, she tries to deny that there was oral sex involved as the person was twice her age but she claims that the person did go down on her and performed **** to make her wild.

There was a time when I was in deep love and she wanted to divorce me but now I want to divorce her and she is in love with me and wants to live with me.I don�t know if I am asking too much in return as a **** for what she did or it�s just the lust on my part and if it�s only my lust then what about hers lust during affairs?

She always claims to be ignorant of such kind of things (as its not western culture) but has knowledge about getting enjoyment without using condom. She was more worried about her fat body and don't allow me to kiss her ****, so I told her that I never looked at her body and I have accepted her not her body but still she keeps on thinking.

We all get that freedom to become naughty in affairs but not during the regular life where ethics, rules, regulations comes in between. I am pretty much sure that if I ask her about anal sex, or watching the erotic movies together then it will be the same reply about dirtiness. We had an argument about this and I reminded her what she said to me that �forgive me, give me a chance, slave & will do everything etc � so why not now and her response was that those wordings/speech came out because of tenseness & fear which means that basically those words have no meaning. It was simply a king of sympathy that every woman wants.

Bottom line, if you love somebody then you will always think about sacrifice but when it dies all sort of excuses arise. I don�t know if it�s my ego, revenge or lust and that�s why I though to ask you about divorcing her is the right decision or not.

Sorry for the brief and long message.

Thankyou,

#2771578 12/18/13 12:09 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 2
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Junior Member
Junior Member
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 2
The nightmare started when I came to know about my wife's affair. She wasn't even sure about her own child that who is the father. The DNA result claims that its not mine.

I was deeply in love with my wife, that I wrote her name on my body through tattoo which was her first valentine gift. My wife grew up at her close relatives where she never received adequate love from her father. The beginning period of our marriage was great but suddenly she started to feel sad and lonely as if I framed couple of things during marriage and brought her abroad. She started to come close to one of our close relative ( married & has 2 adult kids) which turned out to be an emotional affair. Their closeness turned into physical affair where she even forgot to use condom during sex. She was so mad in love & sex that started listening to that person about using the pills while having sex so they can enjoy the real touch. She might have a sex with me also during that time period using pills so that if something goes wrong then the child can be mine and that person is safe with his **** because of pills. She forgot to take pills and luckily his **** got fertilized not mine.

She was thinking to give me a divorce at that time where her pregnancy came in-between. I was in love with her at that time so didn't agree for divorce. I am pretty much sure that the culture and relationship also played an important part where there was no way for them to get married or live together. Their affair never lasted long & I came to know about her incident where she asked me for forgiveness by saying that �please try to forgive me � I know I have made big mistake and I will be your slave for whole life�. I tried to forgive her but somehow became an alcoholic and went for sex at massage parlors. The only difference was that I informed her about my incident where she tried to hide it.

She suffered from a serious illness soon after and was barely able to survive so I decided to quit drinking and told her to start a new life where it will be only me and her. She still has that grudge about �going outside for affairs was because of me as I was not able to take care of her in the beginning of the marriage�. I still try to let it go as women have tendencies of arguing things without any logic. As we all live in a fast track western culture life, I asked my wife about **** and other fantasy but she was not ready for it. She treats such kind of things as �dirty & nasty� . I might be wrong or too forward for asking such kind of things to my wife but what about the enjoyment and satisfaction that she got during affairs. I don�t know how & what do people enjoy during affairs but if she can have sex without using condoms just to get the enjoyment ( I guess so ) then why not ****? When ever I ask her about her sex during the affair, she tries to deny that there was oral sex involved as the person was twice her age but she claims that the person did go down on her and performed **** to make her wild.

There was a time when I was in deep love and she wanted to divorce me but now I want to divorce her and she is in love with me and wants to live with me.I don�t know if I am asking too much in return as a **** for what she did or it�s just the lust on my part and if it�s only my lust then what about hers lust during affairs?

She always claims to be ignorant of such kind of things (as its not western culture) but has knowledge about getting enjoyment without using condom. She was more worried about her fat body and don't allow me to kiss her ****, so I told her that I never looked at her body and I have accepted her not her body but still she keeps on thinking.

We all get that freedom to become naughty in affairs but not during the regular life where ethics, rules, regulations comes in between. I am pretty much sure that if I ask her about anal sex, or watching the erotic movies together then it will be the same reply about dirtiness. We had an argument about this and I reminded her what she said to me that �forgive me, give me a chance, slave & will do everything etc � so why not now and her response was that those wordings/speech came out because of tenseness & fear which means that basically those words have no meaning. It was simply a king of sympathy that every woman wants.

Bottom line, if you love somebody then you will always think about sacrifice but when it dies all sort of excuses arise. I don�t know if it�s my ego, revenge or lust and that�s why I though to ask you about divorcing her is the right decision or not.

Sorry for the brief and long message.

Thankyou,

Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 900
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 900
Bharatshah;
What if it is possible for you and your wife to be in love with each other again? What if you could both feel sexually AND emotionally thrilled with each other? Is this something you want?


Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
Member
I Offline
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Originally Posted by bharatshah
We had an argument about this and I reminded her what she said to me that “forgive me, give me a chance, slave & will do everything etc “ so why not now and her response was that those wordings/speech came out because of tenseness & fear which means that basically those words have no meaning. It was simply a king of sympathy that every woman wants.

Bottom line, if you love somebody then you will always think about sacrifice but when it dies all sort of excuses arise. I don’t know if it’s my ego, revenge or lust and that’s why I though to ask you about divorcing her is the right decision or not.


Don't ask your wife to sacrifice for you sexually. That is abuse, it is selfish and joyless and it is abhorrent.

However it is sadly to be expected from a man who uses prostitutes and porn. These things make a man lazy and foolish. You will remain a poor lover until these things are eliminated.

Dr Harley told a newlywed wife to leave her husband after similar, abusive wedding night demands.

He has also told a former wayward wife that she should leave her husbadn after he made abusive demands in a mood of revenge.

Like you, the husband had no more interest in his wife's pleasure and comfort and thought the marriage should be just as dirty as the affair.

If you follow the MB plan for recovery you will have a pleasurable, joyful marriage where there is no abuse or selfish demands.

Do stop the bad sexual habits and demands. Otherwise your wife will leave you.

Last edited by indiegirl; 12/18/13 01:16 PM.

What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.


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