I like that idea, cat! I'll email them tonight. I don't know if kiss would be willing to go on the program but I will ask. If anything, they will address it on the show and their answer will be beneficial to all of us

I would love it if Dr Harley would talk to kiss about this.

This will sound harsh but�my understanding of MB is that you can't maintain a happy marriage with someone (especially a FWS) who doesn't get the importance of the EPs. So, if you're unwilling to separate at some point, the ultimate incentive for him to adhere to the EPs is�.what?

I'm not certain of that myself. He has broken them time and again, and...

Funny, that's what WxH said about ALL the women he crossed the line with, including all three of his affairs.

And I have seen WS's say this time and again on these forums about their APs.

This is kiss's way of getting you to back off. He is not clueless about how affairs start....

RQ, I quickly skimmed over kiss's thread because it's been awhile.

He was HAMMERED about his EPs there several times. In fact, he lashed out at folks in dramatic fashion for telling him how dangerous it was for him to be discussing marital issues with your SIL.

He has had problems with this coworker before. It was discussed on his thread that he shouldn't be texting with her AT ALL - forget having a one on one discussion with her regarding her marital problems. He commented on a radio show regarding EPs to demonstrate to us all that he was really "getting it", how anyone can end up in an affair if their ENs are being met.... And now this?

Forgetting EPs for a second, KISS doesn't really care much about POJA, does he? Because operating under POJA, he wouldn't have had this discussion with this woman....

This isn't what recovery is supposed to look like, RQ. This should be UNACCEPTABLE to you. He is engaging in the same behavior that led to his affair....and acting clueless that this has been brought to his attention time and again on his thread....

Your preaching to the choir, SusieQ, as that is what Joyce Harley just told me. She asked us to be on the program Wednesday or Thursday. They are interested in talking with Kiss more than me as they already have my perspective (which is in line with yours). Kiss is open to it, we are just trying to see what day he is free.

I really hope talking to the Harleys will help us.

I am holding my breath for you and kiss, RQ...

Thank you, catwhit! We should be on the show this Thursday. After that, we are going Christmas shopping

RQ; To me, it is a good sign that kiss is willing to be on the show.

In our situation, I struggle not to educate Taffy (which he rightfully hates). And he is no longer posting or reading here. (He says he has no questions.) He is, however, open to being on the show, and it seems to me that Dr. Harley has an excellent way of talking to people that doesn't require talking down to them, but still opens their minds to the concepts and ideas.

Agreed, I am glad that he is willings as well. Sounds like our husbands are very similar. I hope Dr Harley addresses the issue of broken EPs as well. Like Kerala and Karma asked, what are the consequences? Should there be consequences or just a better understanding of how to handle a situation?

Does anyone on the East coast know what time we should expect to be called?

For us it was about 12:45 I think. They are Central time so they are one hour behind us.

Wow, that late huh? It will have to be a marathon Christmas shopping spree, then.

Should be an interesting Christmas shopping trip!

I'm so glad you'll be on the show together.

You know I've always asked "what are his consequences for breaking EPs"?

He shouldn't be able to keep doing this. It feels like an affair is just around the corner every time I hear that he has done it again.

What did you think of the Harley's advice?

Brainy: RQ and kiss were going Christmas shopping after the show, as I recall...

You're correct catwhit. Thanks for the reminder. I was hoping when she gets back to the board she would see this.

Hi brainy and cat whit! It has been a whirlwind 2 days as yesterday was the show and shopping spree and today I picked up DD18 from college A very productive two days though!

It was an interesting show and it helped kiss to see my perspective and why I would feel the way I do. Joyce definitely understood where I was coming from. It sounded like Kiss understands better that he needs to at put a wall between him and other females regardless of whether he sees them as a "threat" or not. He did not, however, discuss his thoughts about it with me.

As far as Kiss changing jobs to one where are there are less females, it is something we will discuss. Especially if a transfer within the next few months isn't feasible. I don't feel that it is entirely necessary right now. I may be being naive about it, especially after what I have already been through. But I feel that our marriage is a lot stronger and more valued by the TWO of us for it to vulnerable like it was before.