Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 34 of 43 1 2 32 33 34 35 36 42 43
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Im starting to encounter a problem....
my new mustache is growing a personality of its own...
it is demanding that I try to grow a fancy mustache but I just want a normal mustache.

How would Dr Harley recommend to apply the POJA in this situation?

Well, your not married to it, so shave it off and go with a goatee. Nothing wrong with switching sides.


"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
The mustache must behave. It must not get wild.

As to a man having full physical custody.....if some women see that on a dating website, they will think "What a good guy to be there (emotional need of family commitment)" Yes, they will think your ex must be a lost soul to leave it all to you but they will figure an ex who doesn't have the kids is probably missing in action anyway. That the ex is g.o.n.e.

Women who find it attractive will come out of the crowd of people you see.
Those women would be a better match for you. They will openly embrace being potentially a full mate for you.

They will not turn and run, but be intrigued and open.

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,077
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,077
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Well in Ohio the standard order for parenting is not 50/50.
It is every other weekend and every wed for the non residential parent.

It's not the standard order in either of my city's states either (we straddle states). But non-custodial parents who ask for it are granted 50/50 unless there are very unusual circumstances (like drugs, or other indicators of an unfit parent). And the weekend parent is usually the Dad, so if the weekend parent is the Mom, that's a concern for some women (again, the fear of drama).

If your approach is that there is 'no drama,' and you alleviate any concerns from the beginning, it might help some of those more skittish ladies online. We dating women can be pretty gun-shy and sometimes the slightest thing can make us slam the door shut. Not fair, of course, but knowing your audience and what they are looking for/seeking to avoid is always helpful. Just my $.02.


"When you love someone, all your saved up wishes start coming out."
Elizabeth Bowen

(Changed my profile name, as it was appearing in Google searches. Yikes!)
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
I have come to realize that I am not being efficient in certain areas of my life.....

online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303933104579306664120892036?mod=e2fb

Ive had issues with procrastination in the past and read an article on WSJ today which hit the nail on the head...(above)

Ive been putting off priorities while (as the article describes) checking Facebook on my Mobile or checking this forum. Its not in my best interest to do so

So, I am resolving to remove my facebook app (I was using it so my family could see pics of the kids but I think ill just mail real pics instead...they are only 20� or so at w algreens)...
And I will limit my posting on here to the evening after I lay my kids down, around 9:30 - 10:00 pm.

If you see me make a post outside of this time, PLEASE hold me accountable and chastise me on this thread!
Thank you dearly.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Im starting to plant indoors early...peppers, tomatoes and some flowers...

Im planning on planting zinnias along the street in front of our new home....and planning to convert half of our yard to garden for this year!

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Moving has been more complicated than I anticipated.
I've also had problems with online okcupid...and decided to suspend actively looking for a date online.

I don't like online dating.
I understand that a third of people meet online...yet I'm being matched with open marriage people and morbidly obese people and I'm terrible at examining pictures.

So I have decided to focus on fixing my house (previously unoccupied for 3+ years), living my values and raising my kids.

I will continue to flirt with women as I meet them in person, but I will no longer try to find them online; nor read literature about how to get them online etc.

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Im starting to plant indoors early...peppers, tomatoes and some flowers...

Im planning on planting zinnias along the street in front of our new home....and planning to convert half of our yard to garden for this year!


Do not convert too much of the lawn into flower beds. You will create a high maintenance landscape. I have seen to many people create landscapes that they can longer maintain or afford to pay someone to maintain it. banghead

And, AND, do not dare tell me how much fun as a guy that you enjoy spending all that time on your knees. rant2

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Moving has been more complicated than I anticipated.
I've also had problems with online okcupid...and decided to suspend actively looking for a date online.

I don't like online dating.
I understand that a third of people meet online...yet I'm being matched with open marriage people and morbidly obese people and I'm terrible at examining pictures.

Not anti dating sites. If single would I try one maybe. But I would not have high hopes. Because if a woman is pulling in guys in real life why is she using the internet.

The past month or so a site Farmers Only has been advertising on TV. Where they show a couple of pretty young women that were lonely before. An now found a man after joining Farmers Only.

If you saw how pretty these girls were you would say I can't believe they needed a dating site to get a man.

I do not know of anyone that has used a dating site though that's because I not on the young half of my life.

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 656
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 656
Originally Posted by TheRoad
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Im starting to plant indoors early...peppers, tomatoes and some flowers...

Im planning on planting zinnias along the street in front of our new home....and planning to convert half of our yard to garden for this year!


Do not convert too much of the lawn into flower beds. You will create a high maintenance landscape. I have seen to many people create landscapes that they can longer maintain or afford to pay someone to maintain it. banghead

And, AND, do not dare tell me how much fun as a guy that you enjoy spending all that time on your knees. rant2

Lol... some people actually enjoy planting things and watching them grow. I'm certainly not one of them but more power to Jedi if he is. Speaking of, don't worry about the online dating thing. Everything has its time. Maybe it's time for you to concentrate on you and the kids. Besides, maybe you'll meet your future lady at a nursery or home depot. smile


Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12

S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 656
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 656
Originally Posted by TheRoad
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Moving has been more complicated than I anticipated.
I've also had problems with online okcupid...and decided to suspend actively looking for a date online.

I don't like online dating.
I understand that a third of people meet online...yet I'm being matched with open marriage people and morbidly obese people and I'm terrible at examining pictures.

Not anti dating sites. If single would I try one maybe. But I would not have high hopes. Because if a woman is pulling in guys in real life why is she using the internet.

The past month or so a site Farmers Only has been advertising on TV. Where they show a couple of pretty young women that were lonely before. An now found a man after joining Farmers Only.

If you saw how pretty these girls were you would say I can't believe they needed a dating site to get a man.

I do not know of anyone that has used a dating site though that's because I not on the young half of my life.


There's all kinds of reasons attractive women use dating sites. Curiosity, lack of available single men within their social circles, lack of attraction to the bar scene, new in town, etc.


Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12

S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Dr.H has said that online dating expands the circle of potential dating material.

That it is a good thing for single people due to that.

Think about it.........there are amazing people out there you would never otherwise meet.

That is why quality men & women do it.








Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Originally Posted by tccoastguard
Originally Posted by TheRoad
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Im starting to plant indoors early...peppers, tomatoes and some flowers...

Im planning on planting zinnias along the street in front of our new home....and planning to convert half of our yard to garden for this year!


Do not convert too much of the lawn into flower beds. You will create a high maintenance landscape. I have seen to many people create landscapes that they can longer maintain or afford to pay someone to maintain it. banghead

And, AND, do not dare tell me how much fun as a guy that you enjoy spending all that time on your knees. rant2

Lol... some people actually enjoy planting things and watching them grow. I'm certainly not one of them but more power to Jedi if he is. Speaking of, don't worry about the online dating thing. Everything has its time. Maybe it's time for you to concentrate on you and the kids. Besides, maybe you'll meet your future lady at a nursery or home depot. smile

I do not want to say how I know this. Though I see many people that age leaves them with a landscape that they no longer can take care of themselves or afford to pay someone to take care of them for them.

I did not say do not plant flowers. One can get many large pots and have very nice plantings around their deck/patio. Fall dump the dead plants put the pots in a shed. When you have aged like a fine wine and can not longer put out the pots you don't. And you have a easy lawn to mow on your feet or seat. Which is better then beds full of weeds and you can not get down on your knees.

Last edited by TheRoad; 01/19/14 09:44 AM.
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Originally Posted by tccoastguard
Originally Posted by TheRoad
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Moving has been more complicated than I anticipated.
I've also had problems with online okcupid...and decided to suspend actively looking for a date online.

I don't like online dating.
I understand that a third of people meet online...yet I'm being matched with open marriage people and morbidly obese people and I'm terrible at examining pictures.

Not anti dating sites. If single would I try one maybe. But I would not have high hopes. Because if a woman is pulling in guys in real life why is she using the internet.

The past month or so a site Farmers Only has been advertising on TV. Where they show a couple of pretty young women that were lonely before. An now found a man after joining Farmers Only.

If you saw how pretty these girls were you would say I can't believe they needed a dating site to get a man.

I do not know of anyone that has used a dating site though that's because I not on the young half of my life.


There's all kinds of reasons attractive women use dating sites. Curiosity, lack of available single men within their social circles, lack of attraction to the bar scene, new in town, etc.

Not all women on the dating sites wear apparel by Omar The Tent Maker. rant2

Not every woman on dating sites are the from the Lee family. rant2

You know them. Beast, Ghast, Ugh, and their cousin Home. rotflmao


There is cross section of people on those sites as in real life.

Though as time goes on. Or as every year goes by the pickings get slimmer because the good ones keep getting culled out/taken.

So odds are the ones that are in there 30's and up are for the most part are not going to be prime choices for the most part. Because why is it that a person never dated much? Why divorced 2 times already? Why have they never married happy to be just renters? These things are red flags.

Yes there can be average people in their 30's 40's never dated because the had no game and were almost terminally shy. That would make a good spouse. Those are not that common.

Employers looking at a resume are the least likely to hire someone that has too many jobs and or out of work. Red flags that odds are they will not be good employees.

When the economy went bad in 2007. Employer's were openly saying for the first time that I could ever remember. That if a person was out of work in this economy then they must not be good, let alone if they have not stayed on jobs that long. Though they forget that they are downsizing all the time.

Dating sites have a lot of people that have been thrown back. Just like the potential people to date at work, recreational activities, bars, parks, where ever you can meet people.

The one good thing about dating sites is that it gives one more people to fish from then what you can do in real life.

Last edited by TheRoad; 01/19/14 10:06 AM.
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 360
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 360
Dating sites keep your options open, and provide more options. Also, a low-maintenance yard will provide more time available for dating or for playing outside with your kids.


W (me) - 40
H - 44
M 15 years, 2 kids
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Originally Posted by BlairBluefin
Dating sites keep your options open, and provide more options. Also, a low-maintenance yard will provide more time available for dating or for playing outside with your kids.

Such brilliant thinking you would swear that she was a man. MrRollieEyes

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Originally Posted by BlairBluefin
Dating sites keep your options open, and provide more options. Also, a low-maintenance yard will provide more time available for dating or for playing outside with your kids.

Last year I converted nearly half of my back yard to vegetable and corn garden.
I moved a couple weeks ago and plan on doing the Same at this house.

My kids can help me work in the garden.

I love fresh vegetables.
I have a juicer and also enjoy juicing a lot.

So gardening is a pleasure for me.
And I say that knowing how difficult it is to dig up turf and replace with garden

Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 360
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 360
Originally Posted by TheRoad
Such brilliant thinking you would swear that she was a man. MrRollieEyes

T/J
Thank you! smile Back to a project of refinishing furniture!
/End T/J


W (me) - 40
H - 44
M 15 years, 2 kids
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 360
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 360
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
And I say that knowing how difficult it is to dig up turf and replace with garden

I agree about digging up turf - it is hard work. But the joys of gardening are worth it. Having a large garden is time-consuming. It just depends on whether your future woman loves all that time spent in the garden as much as you do.


W (me) - 40
H - 44
M 15 years, 2 kids
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,311
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,311
I designed and did 100% of the labor in my back yard. It was a large rectangle of compacted soil. Put in the patio, sprinklers, lawn, flower beds, and vegetable garden.

Yes, it is a very high maintenance yard, but beautiful from March through October. The art of cultivating a beautiful outdoor space is quite fulfilling, and all of my family and guests enjoy the scenery.

So have at, Jedi. So long as you enjoy the work, it's a great thing to do.

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 656
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 656
I've been thinking of doing my own patio this spring. Did you guys use pavers, bricks, concrete, etc?

Do you have a list of ideas on what you're planting this year Jedi?


Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12

S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
Page 34 of 43 1 2 32 33 34 35 36 42 43

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 178 guests, and 47 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Gastelumattorney, lucasmiller, Demonolatry, Jose E. Martin, Frank Pro
71,895 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Really Struggling
by Demonolatry - 11/13/24 03:52 AM
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 06:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 10:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 02:05 PM
How Do I Tell Him I Don’t Love the engagement ring
by BrainHurts - 10/22/24 09:30 AM
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,615
Posts2,323,459
Members71,895
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5