Thanks all,looking for smoking gun..what I've red cheater doesnt cover tracks and eventually get cought even with proof still lie about it.do websites that look up e mails and other hidden profiles work?this forum has brought lot in site thanks for help.

If she knows you are suspicious she will probably use an Affair Phone, which is a prepaid phone from Wal-Mart.
A lot of people in affairs use them

Yes! Even when caught the cheaters often still lie.
President Bill Clinton appeared on national television and lied to the entire country after his affair was exposed.
(He later had to admit he lied and was eventually disbarred)

Yes, most do lie about it. That is why it is so important to not ASK if they are cheating. You don't need her admission. You just need the evidence.

What a waste of time trying to figure this crap out.I left house yesterday . I came home and she started argument why was I so late she asked!really.I should have ask how was 4hour shopping trip ... whey does GPS not work when I need it to.I'm not going home to argue and no somethings is wrong .everyone on forum is sure she's cheating and it's hurting me to think about it.is it best too stay away?why does she keep telling me to stay and just argue and accuse me of cheating.how could people do this to there spouse and children.

Go back home and uncover her affair. Don't move out. Can you hire a PI to follow her? A good PI should be able to get the evidence quickly.

Don't surrender the battle without even taking a step!

Even if there is an affair and you expose it but ultimately you choose to leave, following this methodical process will help you end things in an orderly way with closure putting you in a wholesome place for the next step of your life.

Don't cede closure and knowing that you took all the proper steps you could in exchange for anxiety, regrets, what-if's, lifetime resentment, etc.

MB advice was an epiphany for me. Yes, my marriage is ending, but now I KNOW I did everything I could. I am able to look forward to my next phase of life without any regrets about my actions and decisions.

Thanks,I feel unsettled getting p.i.this has hurt us bad enough .that would be something else to use against me and my paranoia.Dam I've tried everything to this.what if nothing there to uncover?I work with person she's had 5 affairs .how could her husband not know.anyway I have been faithful and God Knows I would never do that to my children,wife.I I'm feel very sad i love her and my kids so much.reading forum has given me great respect to members who go threw this and help others.thank you.

You need to hire a PI and find out the truth. Stop allowing her to manipulate you and play you for a fool. Stop being silly. Who cares if she thinks you are "paranoid?" What matters is finding out the truth.

Do you want to save your marriage or do you want to sit around being scared?

Your right.I'm going to call.there's TV show called cheaters. I felt bad for those people going threw that .now I'm going threw it.said wife would never do that to me. What is it that they need to cheat brain damage.

From reading your posts, I get the impression that you and your wife have a lot of anger outbursts at each other.

She is likely having an affair, and do not stop assuming so/investigating.

However, one far, remote possibility could be that she is protecting her thoughts and self from your anger outbursts, so don't let your thoughts collect too much drama while you speedily and energetically investigate to see what you will find.

Generally the advice here is to smile and Plan A while you get the proof. Do not accuse her or let her on to any of your suspicions. And do not anger outburst at her anymore.

Then come back here with what you find.

Melody and the other experts here will tell you what to do next.

That's correct.I'm very angry I hate being in limbo.at this point I realize if she is [censored] around she doesn't love me and I'm better off not being with someone thats evil.my love bank is empty and i no its always the mans fault for not feeling her needs .what the [censored],i also have needs and dont go out of house to meet them. Im done with this [censored] now and not going home here is another feather in you cap satan leave me the [censored] alone now.

I understand that you are distraught right now, but do you speak like this to her when you are angry?

You will not feel so frustrated if you hire a PI and start taking some control of your life here. You need to hire a PI and get the goods.

"i no its always the mans fault for not feeling her needs "

"here is another feather in you cap satan leave me the [censored] alone now."

You are portraying yourself as a spineless, capitulating man who flounders about helplessly and spitefully while others push his buttons and make him angry.

Grow yourself a spine, stop anger outbursting at your wife and calmly investigate whether she is having an affair.

I am sure you do not talk like this to your boss. During the process of this forum helping you through this situation, speak to her no less respectfully than you would talk to your boss no matter what she says or does.

You flying off the handle will not help you whatsoever, so don't do it. Stone cold, man. Follow the plan.

Do not confront her with what you find. Come back to us and we will help you with a focused, rational plan.

Whatever manner you have been confronting her with is not working for you, so let this forum help you on your next steps instead.

For now, smile and Plan A and quietly investigate. You can do it. You will not win the war if you don't show up to the first battle.

Thanks for your input sunny.I do need to calm down as you said and yes I do respect all my bosses and would never speak to them that way.there's a mutual respect their.I'm here for help and answers not to draw portrait of myself !and being spineless and capitulating and need to grow spine and flounders helplessly and spitefully while others push my buttons.those are pretty harsh words that have no truth.I'm not a door mat to anyone and shouldn't need to read that b.s.here.I moving forward following plan to get truth for one of the most painful things a person has to go threw.

Bravo to you, impss! Your wife will respect you for it when you save your marriage. Go get the evidence, be quiet and come back here. We will give you next steps. Can you do that, Sir?

"here is another feather in you cap satan leave me the [censored] alone now."

" I prey to God for the truth so i can be set free."

" this is coming from father of all lies and it has my life upside down."

" that would be something else to use against me and my paranoia"

impss, of course you are not a door mat to anyone - it's just the way your words right now are spiraling in what you are writing.

I am not a door mat either, but my thoughts about "why is God having me in this situation?" and prayers to be delivered from it blinded me to my doormat behavior (as I waited for God), and my own sin in the situation, which was not drawing boundaries to demand that I, God's child, receive respect also (i.e. being a doormat), while dwelling in bitterness and resentment.

From your writings, it seems you may have some contributory sin just like I did, which in your case is anger, as well as dwelling in bitterness and resentment (over something which you have not yet proved). While sometimes anger can be just (and there is a just way to express it in that case), the anger you are expressing to your wife right now is not that kind of anger. You know unjust anger is not from God; he talks often about the angry man being a fool, etc etc.

Spending 100's of hours reading these forums helped me learn how to appropriately set boundaries to show respect to myself; the information in them can help deliver you from your anger outbursting as well.

The process Melody is urging you to undertake is a plan to elevate your state of mind from feeling helpless and paranoid by forming a simple 1-2-3 plan of action which will resolve any doubts about the situation, giving you peace of mind as well as an organized series of just consequences to the affairing participants if this is found to be true along with a plan to recover your marriage if you choose to.

If it is found to not be true, then it gives you a series of steps to heal and move on from this thought pattern you are in.

So, did you place a recording device as Melody instructed yet?

You would be helped by disciplining your thoughts in the meantime. One of the regular posters on this forum has a verse tagline referencing that God heals broken hearts, which came to my mind once when my thoughts were spiraling like yours do. I couldn't help but to just gently tap my heart and keep repeating "God, heal my broken heart. God, heal my broken heart. God, ..." until my thoughts were redirected somewhere else. That might help you, too. I haven't needed to do this since I put the MB plan into action. I don't feel broken hearted and helpless/hopeless anymore. In writing this, I'm realizing He DID answer my prayers and heal my broken heart! He can do the same for you, too!

Sunny I know you mean well and thank you for that prayer.....I know men aren't supposed to cry and repeating that prayer to heal my broken heart has me sobbing .I don't even no if she's been unfaithful to me and doing all this sneaky searching and watching is causing me pain and tears.I don't want to believe she is doing that to me but i need to know.again thank you and others for your thoughts and prayers.

You will feel much better once you know and have a Plan. It will hurt, but we will help you.

What spying tools have you put in place?