It was my understanding that if you aren't preparing for marriage at the 2 year mark then you are wasting your time with that person. One should know if they are marriage quality by the 2 year mark.

From my dating experience the six month mark speaks volumes about the person. I have seen so much over the sixth month timeframe that I am using it as my marker for all dates. I refuse to get very serious until I see their behavior over a six month period ... six months speaks volumes.

I think that's fair and I tend to agree with you. By the six month mark you've probably seen a good chunk of who that person really is. You've gone on a trip, you've sent the night (possibly), you've ran into a disagreement, you've heard their real taste in music... There's a whole myriad of things that aren't up front and visible in the beginning (or obscured by butterflies).

You've also had the opportunity to try MB such as POJA. That's a huge one!

Two hours before I'm supposed to meet AMY for a drink she texted me to ask for my last name so she could check for felonies. I like this woman already!

Its a little weird she would do that right before the date

Turns out she mainly wanted it so that she could give my name to two of her friends (in case she disappeared). Safety first and honestly, I didn't mind it at all. I've actually cautioned women that I've taken out to do something similar; there are plenty of strange people out there, some of them dangerous.

The date with AMY was really nice. We went to a different wine bar than the one I took SUSAN and the wine she selected was excellent. I enjoyed it and the company quite a bit. My first impression of AMY is that she is well put together, sophisticated, intelligent, quite talkative and significantly more attractive than her pictures. She was easy to talk to and asked significant, interesting questions. She was a good listener and overall a excellent conversationalist.

My overarching impression is that AMY is absolutely out of my league. I hesitate to type those words but that is how I felt and so I'll leave it as it is. I'm normally not nervous on first dates but I definitely was in this case, I think because I felt "out classed" so to speak. I think that colored my interactions with her quite a bit and I was less myself than I normally am. That wasn't always the case; I think I did relatively well talking about common interests and I think for the most part the conversation flowed really well. There was a point where she asked me how I interacted with my xWW and I elaborated a bit more than I should have. Nothing bad, but not first date conversation I felt.

I think the only negative about the first date with AMY, not that it's a negative per say, is that she has a very active social life that takes up a vast majority of her time. She's extremely active in her church, community and within her social circles. It's actually something I admire but could be an obstacle for long term dating. Additionally I didn't really get a good read on whether or not she was into me. I think she had a good time generally speaking but whether or not she sees me as a potential dating companion remains to be seen.

I sent her a text after the date thanking her for spending time with me and expressed a desire to see her again. So the ball is in her court but honestly, I think she's so far out of my league that I either won't hear from her or more likely I'll get a polite refusal pretty soon. Either way, it was a good time.

One complication to the whole thing is that I'm pretty sure SUSAN drove past the wine bar, saw me and waved when I was standing outside waiting for AMY to arrive. Not that this has to be an issue; we haven't had any discussions regarding exclusivity or not seeing other people but I do plan on talking about it sensitively if she brings up seeing me the next time we talk. Of all the places she could have drove past in this huge city...

What is the average cost of your dates?

Also what are you wearing to your dates?

Hey Jedi. The first date normally averages around 25 to 30 dollars. I'm normally catching a drink or two with these women so it never gets too high. My first date with SUSAN cost me 12 dollars for my drink and hers. My first date with KATE was 38 dollars but that included two glasses of wine and a cheese platter. My date tonight was 25 dollars. So I'm not breaking the bank. I always pay for the first few dates so this is a consideration for me. My second date on Tuesday with Susan was over 100 dollars which is unusual for me. I normally try and make the second date low cost such as a museum or walk in a interesting park, a hike, etc. The weather makes some of that tough.

As for what I'm wearing, normally it's a great button down shirt with a nice pair of jeans, belt and a set of dressy boots. When I started dating I had no "date clothes" to speak of so I headed over to one of those well known clothing stores and picked up a date outfit. It cost me about $150 with the boots but I've slowly added pieces, a shirt, another pair of jeans, another winter shirt, etc. Now I have a whole dating wardrobe but the button down shirt, jeans and boots are my go-to date clothes. Not too formal but dressy enough that you can go out just about anywhere and look nice.

Thanks for the scoop on your latest, TC!

Curious, what makes a person "out of someone's league?" Was it that you just think she's awesome? Or that she somehow communicated that she thinks she's awesomer than you? (is that a word?) Was it looks, confidence, something else?

I don't think I've ever felt that way about a man. Is it a guy thing? Then again, maybe I just haven't dated enough gazillionaires...I'd probably think a gazillionaire was 'out of my league.'

On another note, is Susan "knocking your socks off?"

More than likely the "out of my league" thing is in my head. With AMY, I had that feeling as soon as I met her. She is beautiful to a degree that I was very nervous. The level to which she was put together amplified that feeling and nervousness throughout the date. Additionally, I did get the impression that she was out with me more due to my persistence than due to a strong desire to meet me.

I thought SUSAN was out of my league as well for a different reason. With her, I knew I would not be able to compete intellectually. Her doctorate threw me off and I was concerned I would not be able to keep up in that department. That turned out to be a false worry but I only knew that through validation; she accepted a second date and demonstrated that she was interested in me in spite of this apparent inequality. I didn't feel intellectually inferior with AMY; I think we were an excellent match in that regard. The conversation was stimulating and interesting.

So yeah, she blew my socks off. Call it a bunch though, I don't think I did the same for her. SUSAN blew my socks off on the second date; that was when the conversation really opened up and we started having a really good time. SUSAN is beautiful as well in a very different way, one that apparently doesn't make me nervous!

If AMY accepts my invitation for a second date, my dating life will be very interesting for a little while I sort this out. I have not heard from her yet but it was late when I texted her last night. We shall see.

AMY just texted me that she had a nice time and would be happy to see me again. So... lesson learned that I shouldn't rush to snap decisions; my gut was wrong. She's going out of town for the long weekend so I will get in touch with her later to suggest some fun activities for sometime next week. I'm suddenly a busy guy!

In SUSAN news, I'm going to suggest a few things to do for our Sunday date and see what she thinks. One is pretty corny so that could be interesting!

Sir you are becoming the James Bond of dating!

Ha! Maybe less the James Bond and more the Curly, Larry or Moe of dating. I feel like a awkward goober who has no idea what he's doing half the time. I do however believe in faking it until you make it!

I made [censored] up all the time to get through awkward moments ... who's making the rules any way???

One time we were at this park. It was hot and my feet were killing me in my shoes. We started walking next to a Creek. I was so tired of my feet hurting I took off my shoes and started walking in this creek. My date looked at me and I jokingly said to him "I'm hot!!! What's a girl to do?" He thought it was cute I simply wanted my feet to stop hurting. It was the simplest solution I could think of because I literally didn't know how much longer I could walk.

Another time we were walking near a Bath and Body works after dinner ... I forgot to check my breathe at the restaurant (because I knew I was getting a kiss). I told him I wanted to stop inside and wash my hands quickly (because they all have sinks). He didn't realize I went inside brushed my teeth, sprayed a couple squirts of perfume, and took off my lipstick to put on balm. I did it all in a 5 minute time frame.

Like I said making [censored] up in the heat of the moments!!!

Smooth.

Ladies do have the natural advantage when it comes to improvisation because you have purses. You can cram all kinds of useful things in there that guys don't have access to. I know a toothbrush would have been handy on occasion which is why I keep a change of clothes, a towel and other toiletries in my work bag so I can shower at work if I have to and leave date ready! At very least though, every guy should be walking into a date with capstick, breath mints and a small amount of cash. The chapstick because no one wants to kiss those cracked and bleeding lips, the breath mints for obvious reasons and the cash because you don't want to be caught needing a few bucks for parking and being short.

AMY texted me lay night to let me know she landed and to check on my dog who I had mentioned I was getting spayed yesterday. Very sweet of her to think of me!

I've sorted out the date night Sunday with SUSAN; I gave her several choices and she picked coming over to my place so I can cook for her. I'm a pretty dang good cook most nights so this will be an opportunity to impress with my culinary prowess. Or with my pizza ordering skills if it all goes bad.

Update on SUSAN: We had our third date last night and I think we both had a good time! I worked yesterday so as soon as my day was done I rushed home, cleaned up a few things that the kids had left a mess before their mother picked them up and started cooking. She arrived about 15 minutes late; she said she had a hard time finding the place. I made dinner for us (lemon chicken and asparagus) and she brought a bottle of wine. After dinner, we sat on the couch and talked for a few hours until she called it a night and left.

We definitely upped the level of emotional intimacy this date. We talked quite a bit about our pasts, what we wanted from dating and relationships, etc. I shared what I was looking for and she talked about what she wanted: a long term relationship and companion. We talked a bit about marriage in general (she doesn't know if by this point in her life if marriage is in the cards for her), the possibility of her having kids (she's unsure on this point as well) and the fact that I already have three (she doesn't mind). We didn't touch too deeply on any one topic but we did brush over quite a bit.

The level of physical intimacy went up a bit as well; we sat on the couch as we talked and for the most part we were touching throughout the entire conversation. My hand on her leg, her foot on my foot, she held my hand for a bit... you get the idea. At the end of the date I briefly kissed her; it was the same type of platonic kiss from date number two.

I asked her halfway through the date if she was nervous and she admitted that she was. Apparently this is just the way it is and I have a feeling it's going to take a bit before she's truly comfortable with me. In short, she's still feeling me out. I'm ok with this; I'm a relatively patient guy and feel no need to really push anything. Especially considering I don't know what is going to happen with AMY, this is probably for the best. Overall, I definitely see SUSAN as someone I could continue to date exclusively. She's incredibly intelligent, our conversations are satisfying at this time (LB deposits) and I really enjoy being around her. We're seeing each other again tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.

On the AMY front, I sent her a quick text yesterday afternoon wishing her a happy Sunday and a great mini-vacation. She responded positively and I promised to send her a few date ideas for her to choose from today. Time to put on my thinking cap!

Ice skating date? I recently went on one...and even though I was really really terrible at it, I thought it was an incredibly cute idea