You are doing an excellent Plan A. I'm really impressed by your discipline and perseverance. You are nearly 18 months into it, and you are getting stronger. You set a very good example for betrayed husbands who read this forum.

To answer your question, you will not be financing her affair if you pay for her to come and visit you and your son. But you could be causing a big problem between her and her POSOM. So give it a try.

Also, nice move giving her the old anniversary card that she gave you. I did the same thing to my FWW. I sent it to her with a handwritten note letting her know that what we had was special and could be special again. She never said anything about it. When I helped her move her stuff back into our home a year later, I found the card and my note in her bookcase. She kept it, much to my surprise.

How are you handling the legal aspect of things?

TQ,
Your mission almost persuades me to jump on board and try to win my ex ww back!
You're doing a great Plan A!
Dr Harley should buy you a steak dinner for following his Plan A advice so diligently!

TQ,

I just bumped the following thread:
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...flat&Number=2784357&#Post2784357

It is only two posts, titled Trueloves Letter.
Please read it and consider sending it to your wife

JK, Just. Thanks for your support, as far as legal goes things are moving on my pace. I have my attorney ready to pull the trigger once I reach my limit. I still have temp. full custody and she hasn't seen our son since March of last year. JK, I may consider doing that not sure at this moment. I read that letter when this all started and thought about that many times.

Interesting turn of events today, I got a call from my bank and apparently someone tried to access my bank accounts online and change my password. Spoke with the electronic fraud department and they told me the request came from a ISP based in FL. Miami specifically, I guess WW is trying to either spy on my accounts or take money. Either way she couldn't do anything if she was able to get into the account because it takes about a month to wire money to an account because of safe measures I put in place.

Using my snooping I found out WW may of lost her job. I haven't spoken to her in a month considered calling to see if she was ok and just talk with her. She is in the reserves and drills one weekend a month and does training two weeks a year. However, she can volunteer for additional training, when reserves are on orders they receive active duty pay. WW went on an additional training and returned to her job to find she was fired. She filed a grievance with the military about it.

Working with stuff like that in my military career, I know she doesn't have a case and would more than likely be jobless. Since she volunteered for the training and it wasn't mandatory. She took the training because she would make more money being on orders than she would doing her civilian job. The other theory would be that POSOM (who is also a reservist) lost his job and filed a grievance. Either way, with the cost of living in Miami, FL and their income the quality of life is no where near to what WW and I had when we were together. WW is high maintenance type too. Coach bags and expensive shoes, income tax can only go so far. Guess reality bites.....

TQ,

This should not be lightly dismissed.
She was probably trying to rob you blind.
I see no virtues in this woman.

It's a bizarre case.

First, the OM ex told you that he drugs his girlfriends and turns them into drug addicts dependent on him.
Is this true or was the ex crazy?

Where is step son? Have you spoken with him? Is he attending public school?

How...did she have access to your bank account?

TD,
I'm sure your mind is churning after the phone call from the bank. At some point those things become deal breakers. Time is ticking.

How is your son doing? Does he resent your WW? Is becoming "out of sight, out of mind?"

How about you? Are you keeping busy with running, work, and son? What are you doing for yourself?

She knew my security questions. SS is in school and not doing well grade wise. She told me this last time I talked to her. Its true what the ex wife said. Maybe it is happening now to WW. I work out training for a half marathon at the moment. My son is resenting my WW which is normal. He says things like his mom loves POSOM more than him and how I did nothing wrong. Other times he misses his old mom. We do recreational things together, little league starts next week for him as well. I take care of myself and focusing on my son and my job. Trying to make rank. Her getting pregnant by POSOM will be my deal breaker. When I talk to her I will ask her about going through my online bank.

TD,
As usual you're a soldier my friend. It is fantastic you are handling it so well with such strength.

Let us know what she says.

Hugs to your little soldier.

Does the military do regular drug testing?
If she is a drug addict, it is a progressive disease and she will get worse.
Unfortunately, the step son would be at high risk of drug use also.

What kind of drug did the ex say OM uses and gives to his girlfriends?

Is the bank investigating further?

Crack/cocaine and yes they do. It's sporadic at best, you can't hide drug abuse for long. It will eventually show, however I think she is clean but probably an alcoholic. I have no proof of that but that's my gut feeling. The bank told me since only the email address on file was changed and password no investigation is needed. Going to call her after work and will let you know what she says. She will either lie or get angry.

I am going to simply ask are you in need of some money? Why go into my account without my knowledge? Do not do it again as I will take appropriate actions to protect my finances against your tampering.

I wouldn't do any of this.
Just stay cool in plan A.
Let all of her anger be directed at OM

Instead, ask how she is and drop a comment like: "DS and I are going shopping for some new furniture and then going to the ice cream shop. We wish you were with us."

EDIT: Be the loving husband that is attractive to her, not the policeman of the bank

Understood, just got through with a 5k run. Feeling that runner's high! Half marathon next March!

Next March or next month?

I ran a 5k and placed 5th last weekend.
I was set to run a marathon but am going to downgrade to a half marathon next weekend

Next month is a 10k, next year is the half marathon. I need to lose about 10-12 lbs to get my time down per mile. Spoke with WW. DS spoke to her for a little and asked if she wanted to talk to her husband. It went sort of like this:

WW: I am not sure that daddy wants to talk to me he might be mad.
(DS hands me the phone)

ME: DS and I just got through feeding some ducks around our apt complex. Wish you and SS were here, it was fun. How are you doing?

WW: I am doing fine, sorry I haven't sent his Christmas gift yet, I pass by the Post Office but I am so tired after work that I don't stop.

ME: It's all good I sent you and SS something and it should be there Wednesday or Thursday.

WW: Thank you so much, SS is on spring break and wanted to speak with DS.

ME: Sure give me a call tomorrow or I can call you. I work from 0615 to 1800. Tell SS we miss him and I got the new video game.

WW: Ok, I have to go because they get mad if I am on the phone at work.

ME: Ok, you have a nice night and give SS a hug from DS and me. You will like whats in the package.

WW: Bye.

Thats great!

X2

Thanks, when she was talking at first she had a tremble in her voice. You know that voice when you catch your children doing something they shouldn't and they know you know. She was expecting a AO and didn't get one, I guess.

When you get a chance, read the book of Tobit. It is in the Old Testament. (not in Protestant Bibles, only in Catholic and Orthodox. You can read it online).
It is a great book about Gods love for marriage and how He uses angels to intercede in our lives.

Was a good read. Thanks for the recommendation.