Well its been 5 years and it has happened again. This time I messed up first then she did it again. Is there any chance this is the only woman I have ever loved or wanted to be with. Has anyone ever forgave there wifes multiple affairs, is it possible, should I cut my ties. My problem is when I ask myself am I better off with or without her, the answer is with. But how can I keep going threw this pain.

Sounds like you two are in an open marriage. No boundaries.

If you're back, then I presume you and your wife have used MB principles, correct?

Well we did but it fell threw the first time after about 6 to 7 months. So open marriage is not what I vowed for. I meant what I said that I want to spend the rest of my life with her but how if these problems continue. Im not man enough to walk out.

Hi rcipe, I would try using Marriage Builders concepts. Are you familiar with the steps to recover from an affair? Do you have Surviving an Affair? Your marriage can recover if you use these steps. If you and your wife don't follow these steps, then more affairs will be your lot in life.

Melodylane yes we have read and used those concepts in the past, my thoughts now maybe this is what she likes though other men. I have asked her to leave but she tells me no Im the only person she wants to be with. the guy did pursue her badly and she told him a number of times this is fake its not real I woukld never leave my husband, and I did read those in texts that I was able to recover that she tried to delete. My question is there any possibility she will change or is she always going to look for that.

rcipe, I don't see any sign that you have used the program if you are both having affairs. I would take a more serious approach if you are serious about saving your marriage.

Do you own the book Surviving an Affair?

I do. No I have not implemented any program yet I caught this 3 days ago I want to know if its even worth the time. Do people ever recover from multiple affairs or does it just continuel.

Melody you actually use to talk to her a lot, Onekewlmommy.

If she is a serial cheater , Dr Harley would encourage extraordinary precautions, such as NO outside job or time apart.
You have to remove the conditions whixh make the affairs possible.

Another obvious condition that makes her affair possible is texting.
She may need a parental phone where she can only text you and call 911

By the way, im sorry that you are going through this.
The first thing you should do is expose to family, children, friends and the OM family and friends.

Welcome back, rcripe. I am sorry this has happened again. You need to follow Dr H's more stringent advice for serial adulterers, or yes, this will certainly happen again.

Are you legally married? Do you have a marriage certificate?

Kind of hard with the time apart, im at work 10- 14 hours a day so that's out of the question. She doesn't work she was suppose to be a stay at home mom but yeah we see how good that turned out,.

Yes legally married for 12 years.

At this point your main focus should be exposure.
Read about exposure on this website and prepare to expose all in one day.
You need to kill this affair before you work on your marriage.

Please tell us about the affair. Who was it with? Was it online only, or did they ever meet? How did you find out? Have you exposed the affair to anyone? Are you monitoring her online activities now?

Ok the great details.

So this was our daughters friend Dad, yes hes married and the wife was supposly my wifes friend ha. Apparently he started pursuing her bad she says he was relentless and would say the nicest things to make her feel good things that she says shes always wish I would say. So from there it led to him coming onto her and so on so fourth. 3 months later I come home from work early on this last sat to find shes not home and about 15 mins later she shows up acting very strange, I questioned her asked her for her phone she tried to keep it from me I got it discovered who and what she was doing and first thing I did was go to the OW. The affair was completely exposed that day to there 2 kids and my 3 kids, as well as my family and her family. she then went the next day and from what she says let her pastor know what she did along with her homegroup leaders from church. I want to belive that's not who she wants to be but who knows anymore. Is all I have asked of her is if you want to continue then go just leave my house first. She has sent the guy a few messages saying if he ever contacts her comes to her house or texts her she will call the cops but I takre all that worth a grain of salt.

It is good that the affair was exposed to all these people. That was the right step for you and OMW to take.

How are you going to ensure no contact between her and this man? If the wife was your wife's friend then both couples will need never to see each other again. How can this be assured? Do they live near to you? Are your kids independently friends with their kids?

They are they go to the same school, I have been talking to the other wife quite a bit actually just trying to help her deal with the turmoil these 2 have cause. 5 devastated kids, and who knows how nc really will go, I have no way of really knowing.

rcripe,

Did your WW meet OM at church?

Is this your WWs 2nd or nth affair.

WW needs to get tested for STDs, refrain from sex with WW.

God Bless
Gamma