Other than making you feel good for a few moments in time....does it really solve anything?????<P>I have been married 3 years and after the first 6 months of marriage of adequate sex....he says he has no sex drive and I have not had any for 2 years......<P>I did give a BJ to a friend and that seemed to satisfy me for awhile (I enjoy that so to me it was almost the same as having sex) but I did have some guilty feelings for awhile.....<P>I just don't think I could ever go all the way and have a true affair.<P>any answers?

CandiCane -- I wasn't going to respond to this, but I found myself coming back here.<P>The short answer is NO Infidelity does nothing but destroy the souls of all who are involved.<P>Sorry to be so short.<P>God Bless

Candicane,<BR> I think you are the one to better answer that question. I must warn you I am very cynical about this but I think a BJ is consider part of sex so that means you had an affair! Did it solve any of your problems with your husband?<p>[This message has been edited by Spicey2 (edited November 07, 1999).]

I tried to not answer. I'm with these two, 100 %.<P>NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Nothing but destruction.<P>Lori

Infidelity solves absolutely nothing and creates a living hell for all those involved. Betrayed and betrayer. Think hard and long (no pun intended). This will affect your life in ways you can't imagine.

MY first thought with a name like Candy Cane was "is this for real?" and I still wonder, but am coming back here to say this:<P><B>A BJ IS SEX</B><P>You've already gone there, and "some" guilty feelings should be replaced with "massive" guilty feelings, once you realize this.<P>Infidelity is a insidious horrid terrible god-awful thing that kills marriages, children and (dare I say it?) mankind in general. <BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

UH, I don't care what the president says..... A BJ is still sex and is still an affair and to think otherwise is to lie to yourself.<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>

<B>Ditto ditto ditto!!!</B><P>It is sex and you had an affair. Going to cause more pain and agony than you can imagine.<P>(I too wonder if this is real!)<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

Not only is a bj an affair, if you are close enough to someone to do that with, then it was definately an affair. At best .. an unhealthy relationship!<BR>I was a pretty wild teenager, H was not!<BR>SO when I married I committed myself to him. Unfortunately he didn't make the same mental commitment I did. No an affair solves nothing! Even the brief momentary pleasure is over before you know it and for the betrayers, if you are working at rebuilding, the pain of putting life back together, I know you will agree, was not worth that momentary pleasure. <BR>CandiCane - I think you are being unfair to your spouse. If you could do that, then you owe it to you and your spouse to either leave, don't continue to lie, or get your head together and get it right.<BR>I can't stand lies .. If you are not happy and need something solved , then solve it, don't cheat and lie.<P>------------------<BR>Mater<P>

Candicane, Tell me this why would you assume the giving someone BJ was not an affair, to do something of this nature meant that you trusted this person. Your risk your health and your husband for (how long does a BJ last). Now you ash yourself was it worht all the pain you've caused. You should be feeling mighty guilty and begging your husband's forgiveness.