You are getting terrific advice here. If you want to save your marriage you have to act with determination and conviction. Get out of nice guy mode and get into your armor because this is war. Fight or lose.

Read SAA quickly and get into a firm Plan A.

Also, read everything here:
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2695379#Post2695379

1. Gather your evidence.
2. Expose the affair. Your wife said to talk her family. Once you get your proof then indeed you should. You will expose this affair to them and to everyone associated with this phony Buddhist guru.
3. I would not let her live with you for 12 months if she continues the affair. She has to agree to end contact for life with him or leave.

One more thing, bac. You don't strike me as a militant kind of guy. I'm not either, but I learned to be when I was in your position. Like you, my wife entered her affair and there was a deep spiritual "awakening" that came with it. If I ever see another copy of "Eat, Pray, and Love" I think I'll wretch. Anyway, I became militant in my approach to combating the affair and fighting for my marriage. The Marriage Builder's tactics worked and I was able to recover my marriage and my family. It takes time, but it works.

By militant, I do not mean being harsh, overly aggressive, or bullish. Rather, you need to be assertive in your approach to fighting the war that you are in.

You cannot afford to waste time vacillating. The betrayed spouses who post here and have the most success are the ones who read Dr. Harley's works and apply the concepts without waffling. They also follow the advice of the people who post here and know inside and out the anatomy of an affair.

Bac,
What is happening?