hello all,

my wife and I met online 3 years ago. It was perfect from the start. I lived 100 miles away, but she and I spent every weekend together and talked every night. We married 8 months later. A month ago, I walked out with my two kids. My anger and emotions clouded my judgement and I left. It wasn't an overnight ordeal, it has been going on for sometime.
Now that she and I are separated, I have been seeing a shrink and getting my issues under control, but my wife doesn't want to reconcile. She still loves me and she and I still talk, but her mind tells her that she is better off alone. I am afraid that things may never get better. I have apologize and seek help, just wish I knew where to go from here.

Marriage Builders concepts, if followed, can result in a romantic relationship for a lifetime.
You are posting in the Divorce Forum.
Have either of you filed for divorce or separation?
Have the police ever been involved or called to your house?

Neither of us has filed, and no cops have been involved. I tried coming back to work things out, but she says I am unwelcome back. We have had a couple of dates and some closeness time together the past 2 weekends. She told my brother that she is all for redemption and reconciliation, but that this was my problem and I needed to take care of it.

Why did you walk out?

Do you have an anger problem?

What are her complaints about you?

We were having a fight, and I told her lets just go to bed and discuss it in morning. It was late and we were both tired. I got agitated and blew off some steam taking the 2 kids from my first marriage with me. Worst mistake I ever made......

Her complaints are that I didn't do enough around the house, I played peace maker to much between my daughter and her, that she had to beg for my affection, that I wasn't there for our 3 kids....

Dr. Harley has a lot of experience with mixed marriages.
His policy is clear: The Policy of Joint Agreement: Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse.

The problem is that you are siding with your kids when conflict arises.
Dr. Harley would advise you to discipline your kids, she should not be disciplining them.
There are Radio Show links that others can post shortly about how to make a mixed marriage not only work, but thrive.

I will admit I got complacent in the marriage. She fulfilled my every need. She would cook, clean, and do all the wifely duties when she got off work. All I did was complain about my 2 hrs drive to work and my 2 hrs drive from work along with relax around the house.

I have admitted my mistakes, and seeked the help of a shrink to control my anger. I have promised to be more proactive in the marriage duties and to do more around the house. But my words mean nothing to her, she lost trust in me, and she is willing to go it alone. She thinks I don't love her, because now I see the error of my ways and she said I should have seen them earlier before it was too late. The only positive I have is that she still loves me.

I don't know how to show her, how to go about it. In my first marriage, I would have never gone to a shrink or tried as hard as I am trying now to save the marriage. Even with past girlfriends before, as soon as they left, I was like, ok, bye. My wife changed my view, made me want to be married again. I just didn't show her.

Were either of you married when you met?

How did your last marriage end?

We both have been married before with kids from the previous marriage. Neither of us was at the time we met. She had just ended an engagement with someone 6 months prior for him being a chameleon. I had just ended dating someone 5 months before we started talking.

My previous marriage lasted 5 years, but we only lived together maybe 2 of those 5 years. My ex wife cheated on me several times.

Why did W's 1st marriage end? How long was she married?

He is a dead beat. Didn't love her or their daughter. He cheated and she took him back. All he rather do is play video games and smoke pot.

When she and I dated, she said I was everything she had wanted and had been waiting for in a man. I made my mistakes in the marriage, but unlike the others, I know I can change for the better. She thinks that I painted a different lifestyle than what I was.

Do you have full custody of your kids (the ones you brought into the marriage)?

For the immediate future, you should read His Needs Her Needs immediately so you understand Dr. Harley's concepts

Here's some good clips on Radio Clip on Blended Families
Radio Clip

Found some more.
Radio Clip on Blended Families
Segment #2

I have full custody of my two, as she has full custody of her daughter. Our ex's only have visitation rights. I have started to read His Needs, Her Needs already.

Thank you for the clips.

FYI i have full custody of my 3 kids, my ex has supervised visitation

Brainhurts,
Dr Harley also discussed blended families in my most recent call to him if you can dig that up, from about 6 months ago

That's right. Let me grab that.

JediKnight,

Is this the call you're referring to?

Radio Clip on Jedi_Knight's Call
Segment #2
Segment #3