This is such a bad day. At this moment, I would give just about anything to have my husband back home. I want to hold him, to kiss him, to show him that I love him so much. I can't stop crying. I thought I was doing so good. How does this pain go away? I am so very lonely for the man that I married. I just want him to come home. How do you stop these tears? I think I'm having a breakdown.

Ceecee -<P>I'm feeling so bad for you and I wish I was there with you!!<P>I certainly know what you're experiencing and the only thing you can do is to let it out.....Cry, yell, throw something (preferably a pillow into something that won't break!!!), lay on the floor and kick and scream, etc.<P>When you do this - you'll be tired and numb at first, then you'll be open to looking at what you can do for yourself and what you can improve with regards to your marriage.<P>What helped me when I was missing him so bad (besides this forum) was to think of him as taking a time out. It is also a time out for you!! Be productive with it. Think about what has changed in your marriage and which of the negative changes you can do something about - then do it!!!!! <P>You have no control over what H does but you do have a say in what you do. Make yourself the priority right now - I'm not saying don't give a hoot about him. Just don't hold up your life waiting for him to figure things in his head. Don't wait for him for a decision in pain and suspense. Make the changes and lift your attitude for yourself and He will probably see it. Who knows what that will mean to him!!!!!<P>So, take the time to grieve this current situation and then lift yourself up, dust yourself off and begin the process of making happiness within and for yourself. It starts with little steps.<P>Hugs and Strength,<P>Sheba<P>PS - I responded on my thread to you and asked where you got the verse you wrote there - would you let me know? Chin up and we're here with you!!!

Sheba-<BR>Thanks for the support. You always have such kind things to say, even in the mess you are in. <BR>I wrote that poem. I try to put my thoughts down on paper when I am feeling blue and try my hand at poetry. Sometimes I come up with a keeper. Thanks again for the encouragement. It helps knowing I can come here and ball my eyes out.<P>God Bless,<BR>cc

Dear Ceecee,<P>You just stay strong. It is really a shame that our H's don't realize who really loves and care for them. And just maybe by the time they do, realize it, it'll be too late. Just cry until you feel better. It will get better somehow, I promise.<P>Maybe watch a funny show or a video to take your mind off of things. I really feel your pain, and I wish there was something I could do. Just keep posting here and we will help you as best we can. <P>Remember, although we are far and near each other, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.<P>love, liza

You Wrote It !!!!<P>Give me more.....I want to hear more!!!<P>Come on ceecee dig out those scraps of paper and write some of them on here.<P>It was wonderful and completely expressed what my thoughts are at those moments.<BR>

ceecee, We still must be having the same type of day. I broke down and cried 3 times tonight at work. I keep trying to look at some of the positives in all this but today I just can't seem to find any. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.<BR>H is planning on coming for supper tomorrow night so I need to get myself together by then. My goal is to make home as appealing as possible. No tears, love busting,jealouse comments ect. Say a prayer for me as that is going to take every ounce of control I've got.<P>Jill <P>