Interview (reprinted - webpage is no longer available)
Dr. Harley and his wife Joyce were interviewed by media source when starting the Marriage Builders Radio Show.
Here is a transcript of the interview:
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
ROMANCE -- FALLING, AND STAYING IN LOVE -- IS THE KEY TO GOOD MARRIAGES, SAY COUPLE WHO COUNSEL OVER THE RADIO
Twin Cities' ''Marriage Builders'' Change Stations, Move To Five Days-A-Week To Create Strong Marriages
By Michael Ireland
Chief Correspondent, ASSIST News Service
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA (ANS) -- They're known as "Marriage Builders." A husband-and-wife team who seek to strengthen weak marriages and make good marriages even better.
Just "Google" the word "marriage" and you will find they are the number one in the world with their online website "www.Marriagebuilders.com."
Dr. Bill Harley and his wife Joyce, world leaders in marriage therapy, at work in the studio. Courtesy: Marriagebuilders.
Meet Dr. Bill and Joyce Harley.
"They're the 'GM' or 'Toyota' of marriage sites...quite remarkable," says Tom Marsland, Executive Producer of the Harley's five-days-a-week, internet-streamed, radio show based in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
"Bill's considered the world's top authority in the field of marital therapy."
Dr. Harley earned a Ph.D. degree in psychology from the University of California at Santa Barbara in 1967 and has been a Licensed Psychologist since 1975. For the first ten years after earning his degree, he taught psychology at both the graduate and undergraduate levels. During those years, he was also a frustrated part-time marriage counselor with little success in helping couples.
In 1973 he discovered that he was not alone in his failure to save marriages -- almost everyone in the marital therapy profession were also failing. So he spent the next two years designing an entirely new approach.
When his success rate climbed to over 90 percent in 1977, he resigned from his teaching position to counsel full-time. Over the next ten years his solo practice developed into the largest network of mental health clinics in Minnesota (thirty-two locations) with over one hundred psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers and chemical dependency counselors working with him to provided a full range of mental health services. He became the exclusive provider of mental health and chemical dependency services in ten counties, and had offices in other counties as well.
One of his responsibilities was to write support materials for the clinical program he directed. He created over one hundred questionnaires and wrote numerous articles that were given to clients as part of their therapy. Among the materials he wrote was "His Needs, Her Needs," which was first published in 1986. Although it was written to be a support text for his marriage counseling program, within three years it had become a national best-seller and a basic reference for marriage counselors throughout the nation.
By 1988 he found himself spending almost all of his time administering his clinics, and very little time doing what he enjoyed most -- improving his marital therapy program. So he began turning his clinics over to the counselors who worked with him, and the ownership of his last clinic was transferred in 1993. Since then, he has written 12 more books and hundreds of articles. His latest book, "Defending Traditional Marriage: It Starts with You," was published in August, 2005.
Dr. Harley and his wife, Joyce, appear together several times a year in various cities for Marriage Builders Weekend, which introduces couples to his highly successful plan for marital recovery. The weekend kicks off a one-year home study program that includes personal accountability. He supervises the progress of those who enroll, and answers their questions on a special Marriage Builders Weekend section of the Forum. He also answers questions every Monday through Friday on "Marriage Builders," a live radio call-in show broadcast on FM 95.9 in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Dr. and Mrs. Harley have been married for 43 years and live in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. They have two adult children, who are now working with them as marriage counselors, and four grandchildren.
ASSIST News Service caught up with them for an exclusive interview about their work as "marriage builders."
ANS asked Joyce about her background in radio. For 10 years, Joyce worked for KTIS ("Morning Break") and another 10 years for KKMS ("In Focus with Joyce Harley"), both in the Twin Cities market.
Dr. Bill and Joyce Harley have been married for 43 years and have helped thousands of couples nationwide build stronger marriages. Courtesy: Marriagebuilders.
Dr. Bill has also had a background in radio. "I had a one-hour radio show on KKMS for two years ("Marriage Talk with Dr. Bill Harley"), and have been a guest psychologist on thousands of radio shows from the 1960s to the present. My first weekly radio show was in Philadelphia every Saturday that broadcast from Gimble's Department Store. It was a show that featured children who could sing, and I was 1 1/2 years old when I appeared for the first time. I've also appeared many times on TV, most recently on the Bill O'Reilly Show," he told ANS.
In one phrase, how would they describe their mission and ministry?
Dr. Bill replied: "To help couples experience the marriages that God created us to have."
He continued: "Our plan for marital recovery is one of the most comprehensive. It covers any problem that a couple could possibly have. That's why we can do a call-in show: We can give helpful advice to almost anyone with a marital problem. But in spite of its breadth, it focuses a great deal of attention on the importance of a romantic relationship in marriage. While most counselors focus primary attention on communication and problem-solving issues, we focus on what it takes to stay in love. Hence, our most important concept: 'The Love Bank.' "
ASSIST wanted to know what were the Harleys' aims and goals, what they hoped to achieve with their counseling practice and their new radio program, and how and in what ways it will differ from what they have been doing?
Dr. Bill responded: "Joyce and I have spent our lives helping couples create successful marriages. And we've been very effective. My best-selling book, 'His Needs, Her Needs' has been translated into twenty languages and has sold more copies each year than the year before for 18 consecutive years. Altogether, over 3,000,000 copies have been purchased so far. Our website, marriagebuilders.com has become one of the most popular marriage sites on the Internet. And now we are hoping to reach even more couples who struggle with marital problems through our radio program."
Dr. Bill hopes to simulcast the radio show in other geographical areas and also make it available for Ipod listening. The current program is already available as streaming Internet content from their website at
www.marriagebuilders.com between 3 p.m and 6 p.m. Central time, Monday through Friday.
Dr. Bill explained why he thinks modern marriages are in trouble.
"I just completed a book, 'Defending Traditional Marriage: It Starts with You,' that addresses this question," says Dr. Bill.
"A combination of changing values and new marriage-unfriendly laws have significantly weakened marriages over the past 75 years. Solid information on how to build strong marriages is no longer available in schools and is rarely available in homes. So websites like marriagebuilders.com and radio shows like ours are becoming increasingly valuable to those who have no other place to learn how to create a successful marriage."
How and in what ways are the Harleys able to help couples in their marriage relationships?
"From the 1930s on, our culture has been turning away from family values, and has substituted individual values," said Dr. Bill, adding: "Consequently, it's become increasingly difficult to convince the average person to provide the care for their spouse that God wants them to provide. Instead, they want more for themselves with less given to others.
"So, instead of trying to convince estranged spouses that they should care more for each other, I try to show them how to fall in love and stay in love with each other. It resonates with even the most selfish people long enough for them to restore their marriage. Then, I teach them the importance of family values, at a time that they have already learned how to care for each other."
Dr Bill believes he has seen God working through his ministry in that he was called to a marriage counseling in a most remarkable way.
"At first, I had absolutely no interest in it. But when couple after couple came to me with their marital problems, I decided that either I learn how to help them, or I'd be spending my life failing to do what God seemed to have been calling me to do. Then, when He showed me how to save their marriages, I knew it was my calling. Over my lifetime I have helped save tens of thousands of marriages."
What are their aims and goals for the new radio program?
"We plan to reach the listeners with good sound practical advice on how to attain and maintain a healthy, happy and romantic marriage relationship. We'll be presenting the latest research, trends and issues on marriage and family as well as taking calls providing our listeners opportunity to ask marriage and family related questions. They'll get answers, direction and hope for their situation.
"Through radio, Joyce and I are able to reach those who cannot afford professional counseling. We provide just enough direction so that listeners can get the help they need without having to spend a dime," he said.
"From our first-hand experience with couples we've reached over the radio, we have convincing proof that marriages can be saved using this medium. That's why we're willing to expand our effort."
He believes radio ministry is effective in relationship to marriage counseling because, "We can reach so many more and it multiplies our effort. We have had listeners who consistently tell us they record the shows to pass on to their friends and family. We're helping marriages and also educating lay counselors."
The Harleys say they have seen God at work through their radio ministry over the years and still continue to do so.
"Just last week a woman called and said she was considering remarriage because of what she had been hearing on the show. Her question was does it work? We told her yes and to keep in touch with us,"
Joyce recalled.
Executive Producer Tom Marsland, a friend of the Harleys for eight years and a veteran of the Twin Cities airwaves, gave up his own regularly scheduled radio program in the Twin Cities to help the Harleys reach a wider audience.
"Joyce and Bill good friends with (my wife) Sue and me, and since their's was the best marriage/relationship talk show I've ever heard, I decided that based on timing, and from a friendship and business standpoint, that this is the best course and direction," Marsland said.
As Executive Producer, Marsland will take care of the business, studio sound, and distribution side of the program.
He believes this means "great things" for his own broadcasting future. "I'm hoping! And besides, I have no intention of staying off-air forever!" he quipped.
"I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to speak for the Lord, but our prayer is that He blesses our attempt to assist marriages in the pursuit of happiness and fulfillment. Just as Dr. Harley has done for most of his adult life."
For more information contact: Tom Marsland at (763) 516-5688 or by e-mail at: tom@tommarsland.com
