reposting here from infidelity because i don't think it's an affair at this point.

My husband, I believe, is in a depression. He is 27 and I am 24. We have been together for nearly 6 years and married for 6 months. Over the last month he became increasingly distant. He stopped sleeping in the bed, stopped kissing me, stopped asking me for rides to and from work (we have one car), stopped asking about my day and wouldn't answer questions about his, etc.

He told me one night he didn't know what he wanted anymore. Then a week later he said he was done, that he wasn't in love with me anymore. He said he has checked out of the relationship. He told me he wants a divorce. That he doesn't want to hang out with me, doesn't want to have sex with me, doesn't want to be with me. He also wants to move far away.

We have had a lot, a lot of stress in life. He has also switched jobs about every 4 months in the last year and he hasn't finished school or done things he has always wanted to do. We struggled to communicate there for a while and things were very, very hard. He does not want to reconcile or try to save our marriage. He will not try counseling or try to do anything to save it.

I went on a trip that the both of us were supposed to go on (alone) and when I returned he had all my things packed up and all of our pictures taken down from the wall and kindly asked me to stay at my parent's house because he was going to push through with the divorce.

This was 2 weeks ago. He hasn't filed, but I have convinced him to let me move back in the house. I went because I thought space would be good for him, but I don't think it has helped. He isn't taking care of himself and he hasn't changed his mind at all. He agreed to live together with no romantic relationship and with us splitting the cost of living (he paid all of it before as I am a full time student).

I have heard of this sort of thing happening before. Now I have an opportunity to be present with him and help him see that he can have a happy life with me and that he needs to find his internal happiness. What sorts of things can I do to facilitate his falling in love with me and his being happy again?

Please do not tell me to divorce him. He is a wonderful person who is going through something terrible and it's difficult for me. If he were to reconcile with me, I would require us to get some counseling and work really hard at our marriage or else I couldn't stay. I love my husband with all of my heart and soul.

What sorts of things can I do to soften his heart if he is resistant and doesn't want a romantic relationship at all with me??? Just letting me live near him is a sign there is something still in his heart, believe me.

I fear there is someone else, but at the same time my husband wouldn't even look at another woman and he didn't even have celebrity crushes. I worry it's porn... He locked his phone as he distanced himself.

Why don't you rule out an affair and then you will know what you're dealing with? A classic sign of an affair is the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" comment.

If you rule out an affair then you'll know what is going on and how to deal with it.

Yes, there is no affair. I have ruled it out (finally). It's a relief.

It is impossible to be certain that there is no affair. This is true for everybody. Unless you have a way to read minds, there is always a residual uncertainty. This is why you need to keep on snooping.

How have you ruled it out?