I've got the GPS ready to go. I've got the tracking software already, but like I said she probably figures I am watching there so I think she is solely hiding behind her work email at this point.

PI may have to be the next step. But will see what this weekend brings.

In an interesting turn of events, the W has decided not to go out with her friends this weekend. I'm hoping to take advantage of this and try to do something fun.

The genesis of this was surely continuing conversation between us about how I've been feeling of late. I never demanded that she not go out, and have told her if that is what she really wants to do then she should, but she says she is changing her plans for me and to be with me.

Maybe her conscience got to her. It certainly hasn't been a great week for me, so I was surprised at this. I'm sure it is partially a smoke screen and we'll just go through this again in a few weeks...

One thing I struggle with, I try not to drudge up the old affair, but sometimes I think she hopes I have forgotten about it and if I mention it she really goes off the deep end. I know I never really got over it, which is why I am here. But where do you draw the line? Should I never bring it up? I only allude to it in mentioning patterns of behavior.

Don't ever bring it up again.

I am glad she is staying home, however, that doesn't address the basic issue, which is finding out if she is having an affair. That problem needs to be resolved.

Yeah, I'll have to do a better job there then.

As for the rest, she won't really have an opportunity to do anything for a while as we are together the next few weekends, into April. Maybe she'll come to her senses (he says with a laugh).

In the meantime, I would get spy resources in place so you can see if she is having an affair. Put a GPS on her car NOW, spyware on her phone NOW and a VAR on her car NOW. Even if she comes to her senses, that won't bring the affair out into the open.

Your most URGENT issue is getting the evidence. You can't wait around for that to land in your lap.

I am on it. Thanks again to all for you advice and counseling.

good man!!

Can you afford a PI?

I don't want to do the PI route until I am certain of my suspicions. Money is certainly an issue, but I also don't want to waste resources.

I am laying low for now, and looking for opportunities to trace movements as I have nothing but a gut feeling at this point.

I truly hope that I am wrong, but something tells me there is more to this story. Will report back periodically, or if something develops. Again, many thanks for the advice here.

Have you hid a VAR in her vehicle yet?

How is the GPS tracker and keylogger working out for you so far?

LTL

cb2004,

I agree with not bringing up the affair, unless she has not fully disclosed the details. Did WW ever make a full confession to your satisfaction?

God Bless
Gamma

Yes this. Update us on this.

No, she has not confessed an affair. He doesn't know if there is an affair yet.

ML,

No, she has not confessed an affair. He doesn't know if there is an affair yet.

I understood that, what I was asking was if the previous affair had been recovered from, since there seems to be a thought in cb2004s mind that the previous affair set the stage for this one.

WWs like to gloss over the details of the affair and jump to "recovered" very quickly with a good sweep under the rug.

God Bless
Gamma

ML & Gamma,

I probably wouldn't characterize the first recovery as a "full" recovery. We talked about it, and she probably hoped I would forgive and forget like that. That clearly wasn't going to happen overnight, and then it all comes crashing back on me when I start to get the inkling something is amiss.

The sad thing the first time, during recovery, we agreed to not hide ANYTHING from each other, so as to avoid any future unpleasantness. So the fact that she now hides behind her "dignity" of not having to show me who she contacts through her work email is enough of a red light to me that there clearly is something she doesn't want me to know about. And any time I bring it up, she goes to DEFCON 1 immediately. The signs are all there.

It hurts particularly bad because I thought we were making decent progress, and now this. But yet she acts as if I am the only person in her life. Sad.

What snooping tools do you have in place?

What are you doing?

Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Red Flag.

I agree - hence my ongoing concern.

I've got a keylogger on her computer at home, software on her phone, GPS in car. so far none of those have revealed anything. I am completely convinced she is containing this in her work email - the only thing I don't have a window into. Eventually she will go somewhere and I will see on GPS or her phone location. But we aren't going to be apart for a while now, so all I've got is the feeling she is communicating with someone and hiding it at work.

Does she ever log into her work email from home? If so, you should be able to pick up the link/id/pw and track that.

What about Facebook?

If something is going on, it should show up in what you have in place. If she is talking to someone, most likely it isn't not totally contained at work.

What about a secret phone? Have you torn apart your place and looked in every single corner? Look in her spare purses.

Good suggestions by 20yrhistory. Also, does she have a work ipad? I check out my husband's work email on his ipad sometimes.