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Thankyou! You have unusual clarity in both your thought processes and your writing style. Best of luck to you! Awww thanks LW - yet I put my keys in the laundry this morning...  Oops :-)
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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Peeps,
I've just been offered the most incredible new job teaching English to young people on apprenticeships - tomorrow's journalists and web developers. We are partnered with some of the best news and computing firms in the world.
It is because of the advice I received here. I was broke and hopeless, couldn't even afford a lawyer and now I'm thriving, personally and professionally.
Thanks MB! Congrats!! That is awesome! I don't know how you have the time to do all that you do. You are so generous here, and obviously not neglecting yourself either! Good for you!!  
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Congratulations, indie! But your employers got really lucky by hiring the BEST!
Dday- Feb 1998
Recovered!!
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Congratulations, Indiegirl!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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You lot are the best 
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Indie, Congratulations on the fantastic progress in your work and also in your personal life!
I've been going slowly through your thread, you've shown great humour and patience through it all, I'm learning alot.
You have offered some of the best advice on my situation, I'm beginning to see many similarities in the personalities of our H/WH, except in my case there's no adultery that I know of (so far) and I have two children who need both parents.
I'm on my own long journey and reading about yours has helped so much.
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Indie, Congratulations on the fantastic progress in your work and also in your personal life!
I've been going slowly through your thread, you've shown great humour and patience through it all, I'm learning alot.
You have offered some of the best advice on my situation, I'm beginning to see many similarities in the personalities of our H/WH, except in my case there's no adultery that I know of (so far) and I have two children who need both parents.
I'm on my own long journey and reading about yours has helped so much. Gave, the behaviour I described in my thread is very, very specifically wayward. The abuse and gaslighting was all about protecting his affair. He did have some pre-existing IB but he never controlled or abused me pre-affair - he was just stubborn about his independence. If you see similarities with your husband I would get a PI on the job because affair behaviour is very similar and eerily recognizable. I know you're about ready to drop but he is still your children's father and you need to know what he might expose them to. It's been my experience with other Plan Bers that though children are better off with two responsible parents, they need an irresponsible parent like they need a hole in the head. If you are concerned about your husband's character, check him out thoroughly and get good legal advice.
Last edited by indiegirl; 07/06/15 07:19 AM.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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[quote=Gave2Much]
Gave, the behaviour I described in my thread is very, very specifically wayward. The abuse and gaslighting was all about protecting his affair. He did have some pre-existing IB but he never controlled or abused me pre-affair - he was just stubborn about his independence. This seems to be very true of many WH's on these boards. Although in my own situation, he could be abusive to me in order to protect his IB. I'd say he'd threaten to divorce me and use abusive language about once a year. For example, I caught a secret credit card he opened up. He threaten to leave when I was 8 months pregnant because I was upset about that. [quote=Gave2Much]
It's been my experience with other Plan Bers that though children are better off with two responsible parents, they need an irresponsible parent like they need a hole in the head. If you are concerned about your husband's character, check him out thoroughly and get good legal advice. Yes, get them away as much and as soon as possible if you suspect neglect or abuse in favor of an affair.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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Miss you and your words indiegirlfriend!
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Miss you and your words indiegirlfriend! 
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Miss you and your words indiegirlfriend! Welcome back!! Any updates?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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It's so nice to read you again, glad you are back! Please know that you are appreciated by many here!
FBW 36 (me)
DH 35
DD6,DD4,DS1
On Recovery
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Aw thanks! Miss you and your words indiegirlfriend! Welcome back!! Any updates? No, not really Brainy. A friends text just asked the same thing (nobody has seen me all term) and I said not unless you are interested in how I mark books!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Are you still enjoying teaching?
Are you still with your boyfriend?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Are you still enjoying teaching?
Are you still with your boyfriend? Yes to both! Hey you too, R
Last edited by indiegirl; 11/29/15 12:36 PM.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Happy Thankgiving, Indiegirl. Glad to hear you're doing well.
Thank you for your words of insight and your help here.
Married 31 years, 5 kids, 4 GK
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