Well Plan A is not about withdrawl.
Its about being friendly and meeting emotional needs.

Daughter's 5th birthday was last Thursday. I had her and her sister from about 5 to 8 or so. Crammed as much stuff in there as I could - took her to dinner where she wanted to go, the wait staff sang to her and she got a scoop of ice cream. We went home and she opened her present (another one on the way that we ordered online together so she could pick out the color).

After she opened her present I think she was telling me about her experience earlier in the day. Something about mommy telling her something, counting, making a birthday wish. I couldn't really follow her conversation, but I followed up with a question, and the answer was heartbreaking. I asked her "Do you have a birthday wish?" And she said "Yeah". I asked her what it was, and she said "To be together again as a family."

I have mentioned to her in the past that I wanted to be with her and her sister and mommy, but I hadn't mentioned it that day. So she obviously understands. She cries sometimes when I drop her off with her mother, and she very often tells me that she doesn't want to go back to mommy's. To me this is torture. Hearing that she wishes her family were together is torture. My xW does not know what she is doing to her little girls, I am sure.

I feel like writing her another 20,000 word letter to get all of this out, but I am afraid it will fall on fogged-in ears. As far as I know, the POSOM is still in the picture.

You can always write it and decide later whether to give it to her or not.

Yes she does know what she is doing.
She doesnt care.

I don't think I'll bother. I have been purged by EVERYONE I know - my own family, and finally by the xFIL. Like everyone says over and over, I should "get past it" and "move on". Right? There is no hope after divorce for people like me. People with morals. I wouldn't be surprised if she has taken the POSOM to meet MY parents by now.

I did a google search on the xW to see if she pops up anywhere new. Nothing, really, but her pinterest crap comes up all over the place. Reading through one of her comments on this gem of a saying:

"Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances."

Her comment after she posted it? "I found my man"

Nice, right? She found her man, a guy who has no problem screwing another man's wife. She found her man, after having two kids with another man, after doing NONE of the things in that stupid saying for her children's father, but expecting HIM to do all of them, after meeting NONE of his emotional needs and blaming HIM for everything wrong in the world. Un f***ingbelievable.

Pinterest is just another place for women to go to feel good about all the bad things they do to other people. More justification for her adultery and lying. Oh, but it's all MY fault.

Plan A will do nothing except make her think that I condone her behavior. That is all. She is that selfish and she does not care for me one little bit, and she never really did. She used me to get out of her father's house and his religious oppression, and she has been looking for my replacement ever since.

My ex wife writes the same nonsense...about the love of her life, etc.
And she's with a complete scumball

If your Ex-Wife NEVER met ANY of your emotional needs, why were you with her and still desire to reconcile?

I feel that you are clouding your own perceptions due to your current resentments.

And for goodness sake, stop looking up that crud babble sayings that she posts to on pinterest. Does it do YOU any good to read that crud?

LTL

He's not still with her.

You know this how?

I wouldn't say that she never met any of them. As for reconciling, I've said it before - if we had no kids, she'd be a footnote in history by now. But we do have kids, and my older one wants her family together as much as I do, and if it were not for Dr. Harley's books, I would not have believed that it is possible to reconcile after all this. But I think it is possible. But not until the POSOM is out of the picture.

Jedi, what did you mean by your comment? Do you know something I don't? I know you have seen the cheaterville post and you know who he is.

No, Blindside. Disregard my post. I meant to say "blinsdide is not with her"

Okay, that makes more sense. I was wondering if you were running an op that I didn't know about.

I asked my 5-year-old if she told her mommy about her birthday wish and she said she did. I asked her what mommy said when she told her.

She said "Oh."

Still fogged in.

How's it going?
Do you have your daughters this weekend?

Yep. Had lots of fun, as usual. Spent a good deal of time at the park this afternoon.

Just took them back to their mom, and as usual, I am depressed now. When I am not with them (and my ex as a family) I feel useless, like I am only here for the next time I see them. It has not gotten one bit easier, this part. I wish I could do a vulcan mind meld on her so she understands what she has done to me.

I don't think I can plan A until that parasitic piece of S*** is out of her life, and it doesn't look like that will be happening.

Well, you can pray.

Been doing that every day since the beginning. Has had no effect, not that I expect it to.

Talking to God is always effective. He just doesn't always answer in ways that we understand. Plus, your wife has free will.

I can understand why you are depressed after you say goodbye to your girls. Why don't you ask the court for joint custody so you can see them more. Most judges today go that way. Things have changed and they want both parents active in their lives. You are a good dad, and the girls need you more in their lives. Though the divorce is final, custody arrangements can always be modified. Ask the judge.

I do not have the free time to have 50/50 time with them, unfortunately. My weekdays are very long and tiring.

It's interesting that my xW asked me about our 5 year old's education, that she wants to put her in a private school and wants me to contribute to that cost. I'd probably be able to if I weren't spending $15k a year on rent and utilities that I shouldn't be. That would pay for a nice private school, don't you think?

This nightmare needs to end for me. I need my family restored. I am about to pay the POSOM a visit.