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I'm 27, H is 25. We have a D that is 5. High school sweethearts. Married 5 years.
Our marriage has been rough. I have treated him badly. Lied to him, hit him and always put him on the back burner. After a few years of me doing that he did it back. Only what hurt me most is he cheated. He ended up leaving both me and our d. Went to another state and all.
To this day I continue to pick fights with him. We both wanna work things out and get our family back together.
How do I stop?
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Joined: Nov 2011
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I'm 27, H is 25. We have a D that is 5. High school sweethearts. Married 5 years.
Our marriage has been rough. I have treated him badly. Lied to him, hit him and always put him on the back burner. After a few years of me doing that he did it back. Only what hurt me most is he cheated. He ended up leaving both me and our d. Went to another state and all.
To this day I continue to pick fights with him. We both wanna work things out and get our family back together.
How do I stop? First, Dr. Harley would encourage you both to take anger management classes. This is extremely important. If your husband wants to have a romantic marriage then ask him to start his own thread here and experienced posters can help both of you. Also, Dr. Harley would encourage you to expose his affair to family and friends.
Last edited by Jedi_Knight; 03/11/14 11:40 PM.
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Everyone in both families know about the affair. If I could control myself things would be alright.
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Everyone in both families know about the affair. If I could control myself things would be alright. Dr. Harley would encourage you to take an anger management class. Have you done this? Also, when you say that both families know of the affair: I have a couple questions: Is the affair over? Does he have any contact with her? Was the affair exposed to OW (other womans) family and friends?
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Recognize that "stop" means never having an angry outburst at your H again. And most especially never again engaging in domestic violence.
Until you have demonstrated that you have learned to control your behavior even when provoked, you and your husband must remain separated.
Have either of you ever, even once, hit or shaken your child?
Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
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Is your husband still in contact with his affair partner? Recovery from his affair cannot begin until he has ended all contact with his affair partner, for life.
Dr. Harley would advocate that you let everybody in his life know about the affair. He would not advocate that you continue trying to recover with him if he is still in contact with his affair partner - after more than three weeks, the emotional and physical strain on most betrayed wives is just too great.
I suggest you click the notify button and ask the moderators to move your post to the Surviving an Affair section of the forum.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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His cheating was with several women. He does not have contact with them.
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Have either of you ever, even once, hit or shaken your child? [/quote]
No our D has never been hit through any of this.
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I quit physically abusing him after our D was born.
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LonelyWife,
Lied to him,
About money, or ?, or did you cheat on your now WH. Cheating also includes becoming emotionally involved with other men.
God Bless
Gamma
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Lies about stupid stuff like what I talked about with my family. I never cheated.
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I lied about who I was hanging out with and lied about telling our business to others.
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I lied about who I was hanging out with and lied about telling our business to others. Why would you need to lie about who you're hanging out with? Who are you hanging out with?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Do you have the book "Surviving An Affair" ? If not, you need to get it and read through it.
Did he meet these women at work? How does he know them? Will he agree to extraordinary precautions to prevent ever having an affair again?
Please click notify at the bottom of your post and ask the mods to move your thread to the Surviving An Affair forum -- you will get more help there.
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lonelywife08,
Did you ever apologize to your H for lying.
Lying about stupid stuff is never trivial and leads to larger and larger lies.
Talking with others about marital problems creates openings for affairs.
God Bless
Gamma
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Have you listened to these? Anger Management 101
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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