Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389 |
He's kissed her (this is a serious minimization, I'm sure a polygraph will reveal sex), he has gone out for lunch with her, he sees her at work - nothing has changed.
You haven't followed anything in this program for the past six months, and you have false recovery. Are you ready to follow the program? HNHN is a waste of time with an active affair. And you have continued to allow another spouse sit at home not knowing his wife is having an affair.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108 |
From what I can tell she broke it off (he now tells me her husband found out) If that is supposedly the case then it shouldn't be a surprise to the BH so contact him ASAP.  Expose and stop listening to your WH's silly stories.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I hear you all. I know it doesn't matter,but the kiss was 6 months ago and he did not see her from December until last week.
Today I asked him if someone he knew was threatening physical harm to me what would he do...he said he would do anything and everything he could to protect me. Then I told him that his relationship with her is a threat to me...a threat to my emotional health and my well-being. I told him he can do what he wants with that information. At this point I plan to sit back and keep watching for his next move.
In all honesty I'm getting a little tired of it. Is it normal to not be sure if you really want put in the effort? Have you exposed the affair like we advised? The ball is not in his court, it is in your court. He is watching your every move and so far he KNOWS you are not serious. He knows you will enable him. He won't get serious until *YOU* get serious.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
Lola,
When will you be exposing? And who is on your exposure list?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 810
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 810 |
Today I asked him if someone he knew was threatening physical harm to me what would he do...he said he would do anything and everything he could to protect me. Then I told him that his relationship with her is a threat to me...a threat to my emotional health and my well-being. But you see, this is going to cause physical harm to you. You just can't see it yet. Perhaps out of some sort of misplaced guilt from your own affair? I read your previous posts. Neither of you have respected your marriage in the past, but you sure do seem to want to respect it now, and you can do the right thing and set your marriage on a healing path once and for all. Please stop handing him a noose and sitting back to see if he will hang himself with it. Of COURSE he will! He is not in any position to do the right thing. He is in an emotional fog due to his ongoing affair. If you honestly care about him and your marriage, you will force an end to this affair.
DDays - six months of them THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders. We never knew that it could be this good! 
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
145
guests, and
66
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,490
Members71,963
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
