Do you know any PI's?

I read all of it so I got it, now. I will have to investigate some more. to get more info.

Good man!!

Yesterday she still seems to be pushing for divorce, so that concerns me, we did have an ok conversation earlier, Should I try to talk to her about working on marriage and stopping affair? before I expose to the rest of her fsmily and friends.

No. And let me explain why. Right now your wife is high on the addiction of an affair. An affair is very much like being high on drugs or alcohol. Dr Harley calls it the fog. You have probably noticed that your wife does not seem like herself at all. That means the first step is to bust up the affair so she can sober up, so she will be OPEN to working on the marriage. You do that by killing her affair and you kill the affair by exposing it.

She will be more open to working on the marriage once you bust up her affair.

At first she will be furious and threaten to divorce you after you expose, "was going to work on it" blah, blah, blah... Just imagine how furious the crackhead is when you take away his crack and you will understand her anticipated reaction.

After you expose the affair is when you demand that she end her affair. Tell her that if she will end her affair you will work on creating a happy, romantic marriage with her. But the OM must go. At first she will tell you to go to hell, but you just hang in there and demonstrate that you are the best option.

She wants the divorce because of the affair. Do you see how the strategy works? Don't worry about the divorce, but worry about removing the SOURCE, which is the affair. Run that POSOM off! [pieceofsh**OM]

This is what all WW say to prevent further exposure from being done. Expose full now.

That's what I have been told about the glimmer of hope. How should I be treating my wife ?..should I be trying to fill her love bank during this time? I'm going to expose the rest as soon as I finish finding more info on OM family. I found his exwife on FB.

I would finish your exposures as quickly as you can so you can get this part finished and move onto next steps. You should be in Plan A, which means you treat her very kindly and avoid any lovebusters. Here is an explanation: What Are Plan A and Plan B?

I would also download the book Surviving an Affair and read it so you understand what you are dealing with. You can download it on Amazon and read it on kindle for PC, iphone, ipad or kindle.

I have the book Surviving the Affair. I don't know how long it has been going on, I looked at 4 months of old cell phone bills and nothing, unless she had a prepaid phone.

Do you access to her cell phone bills? You said this in your first post:

I think you have a very good shot here. She reads like the more 'typical' wayward wife, i.e. she has a conscience. She feels horribly guilty and miserable but addicted to OM. She's only leaving you because the guilt is getting very hard for her and the A becoming more entrenched. Because she has a good conscience, she is terrified of people finding out. Her conscience's reaction to the initial exposures is an excellent sign. Excellent.

However exposure is the only thing capable of breaking her addiction. You have an excellent shot using exposure. She just wants to slide into her addiction unnoticed by anyone but don’t you dare let her!

Recovery is more possible with the typical wayward wife. See below.




Exposure frees the WW from her addiction by activating her conscience.

I think she did have some valid concerns and some vulture has just swooped in there. Expose the heck out of this guy.




That's a very good exposure target.

You should be calm and kind in the face of her anger without apologising for exposure.

Something like: "I am sorry your affair embarrasses you. I am willing to give you a marriage we can both be proud of".

I am very worried about the effectiveness of your exposure. YOu should be wrapping things up NOW. What's going on? Focus on the rest of your Plan A later, after exposure is over.

She is the first list idigirl, She just called me asking me what I told, my family, I told her I would rather tell her about it in person. I told my family we were having marriage problems and I found out she was having an affair and I want to save my Marriage. Should my family call her to hep perseude her. My family loves her. I'm trying to gather as much intell as I can to expose to her family. What about her work, He doesn't work with her but, he is affiliated with her type of work? I should have everything wrapped up by tonight so I can expose all of it on friday with her family and friends and I will send to his Ex-wife and kids. Cant find parents.

I looked at the our old joint cell bill, i only see his work number a few times, she could of been calling him from her work number. I don'yhave access to hr new phone bill, its in her mothers name.

She was telling me last night on the phone she feels depressed, and she doesn't sleep good. she is even gaining weight, she gaines weight when she is stressed out.

She actually has also cried several times in my arms during this ordeal. I do want to save this Marriage.

You don't need anymore intel if you already have concrete proof of the affair and know the OM's identity as you already told us. The people you expose to don't need a blow-by-blow of what exactly has happened - just that there has been an affair.

Yes, you want your entire family to confront your WW and tell her to do what is right and end her affair. My entire family did that with my sister's WH and it was very effective. But you should wrap up everything and have everyone confront her at once.

If they met through the workplace and that's how the A started, then I would expose there. But I will let others chime in on this as I am not 100% sure if that's the right move.

This is a bad idea, WD, discussing exposures with her before you have even finished.

Wrap this all up today. Expose to OM's FB friends and you can work on finding his parents tomorrow but do the rest of your targets today.

I am very worried your WW is going to regroup, contact her family/friends before you reach them, and this isn't going to be very effective.