This is very exhausting, this whole process... I like how my wife try to tell me they are just friends...apparently a secret friend. I heard a lot of crazy stuff these past two days...

New meaning for "drag racing"

Haha

The hard part is that you will hang on every crazy word she says. Been there, done that. But it helps knowing that what she says are the words of an alien. Don't take it personally and don't take it seriously.

It will make you tired when you're dealing with a wayward and their crazy talk.

I was over on divorce busting website for some time and they really did seem to have this type of approach when it came to infidelity. They seem to just tell you no snooping and just let it work its course. Not sure which approach has a better outcome...just wondering

WD,

They seem to just tell you no snooping and just let it work its course.

That's not really any different from what most people do if they have no support or plan.

It's true most affairs die on their own and the wayward spouse comes back, but the marriage dies too and never recovers even though the spouses stay together. The wayward spouse gets to keep all their secrets while the betrayed spouse is given a life sentence of suffering.

God Bless
Gamma

Their approach enables the affair to last much, much longer than it normally would because they have NO PLAN, no nothing. Affairs thrive on secrecy, so naturally keeping them secret helps them thrive. We have had people from that site come over here after enduring their spouse's affair for YEARS. By that time, the wayward mindset was so entrenched there was no coming back. In one such case, the wife just hired a lawyer and got the enabler husband kicked out. He was forced to pay her mortgage and all her bills while she entertained her little affair partner in HIS HOUSE in HIS BED.

WE have found that the longer the affair goes on, the harder it is to bust up the affair and save the marriage because the wayward mindset just becomes more and more entrenched.

Another lady showed up over here [from that site] but it was a recent enough affair to bust up. They had told her to do nothing while the H was plotting and planning to carry on his affair. She exposed the affair on facebook and the affair was killed THAT DAY. That lady is in recovery and has a great marriage 3 years later. If she hadn't done that, the affair would still be thriving.

That sounds like Plan Doormat. It makes you look weak and complacent. Your WW will remember that you did not fight for her and that OM did.

WD,


They seem to just tell you no snooping and just let it work its course.

Another point about this is that doing nothing sets you up for another affair. There are numerous case when betrayed spouses come back 3 years later on MB saying they should have listened as affair 2 is in full bloom.

God Bless
Gamma

That sounds great, I sure hope I got mine in time. I know I'm already in a divorce proceedings, I sur hope she see's the light.

I would like to thank everyone for all there help, I truly believe I was sent over here by God to get all this insight and wisdom. I am greatly aprreciated for each and everyone of you who have lifted me from the ground...

You are part of the Marriage Builders family, friend.

See, I don't view the fact that she has filed for divorce as sign this has gone on too long. I suspect she did that because she is so terrified at getting caught that she wanted to get out. She sounds like she is EXTREMELY worried about what people think. Most waywards ARE worried, but not so worried that it breaks through the fog. That fear really pierced her fog in a big way. They had a PLAN to quietly replace you.

So I don't view the filing of divorce as necessarily a bad thing but as a factor in her personality. Now, if you had been enabling this for years, I would have my doubts. But I am optimistic about your situation if you can get off that dreaded night shift and start spending your evenings at home.

She is in a difficult position now where if she tries to bring her affair out in the open like she planned, she will indict herself as a liar. If you continue to be nice to her and reach out to her, it will give her second thoughts.

You are very welcome, my friend!

Maybe they know I am not a nice lady!!

WD,
Do you find your wife is acting like a teenager? Selfish? Impetuous? Ornery? Sulky? Self Absorbed? Well, that's her taker out of control.

Thing is, the information that the POSOM's ex-wife gave you indicates that the guy your wife is hooking up with is a loser, and she has no future with him. This is going to flame out and she will hit rock bottom. You have a great chance at being her soft landing.

Melodylane is like some sort of minfd jedi, My wife has told me so many times she didn't want anyone to know she even filed for divorce. She told me she didn't want anyone to know are business. Sheis so worried about what people think of her, you have her pegged, are you don't know her...lol. My wife also suffers from anxiety and its because she is so worried about what everyon else thinks about her. My brother has been carrying on an affair for sometime now, he's been back and forth from his wife and GF about 20 times now...He's an idiot and I have told him, he has no guilt etc... My wife was actually appauled by him and even kept saying he is wrong he's not even divorced. My brother brings his GF to a family function and his wife is there also, Itld him he should leave etc.. This was a few weeks before my wife filed for divorce. I think she used it to shield her own wrong doings.

She is acting like a spoiled brat. His exwife was really worried for my wife. I told my wife I spoke to her and she would like to talk to her, she was a bit shocked taken by it and then she went into I don't want to talk to that F#$%ing lady.

My wife even tried to tell me you told his children, yes she used the word children, 3 of them are in there 20's and one is 16 who I see on FB but I didn't send it to him, God stopped me and his wife requested I did not b/c he is still messed up from their divorce. His exwife even said he doesn't come around for him. So My wife has know idea what she is talking about, trying to guilt me. He must be teling her crap.

My wife is trying to play psychological warfare with me. She took FB down and up the past few days, now its back up and she removed me as her from her status as married to me, but I'm still a friend.

I came home and she was here earlier my brother said getting stuff, well all her clothes are here still, she took her robe and pillow and small tolitries, but she took all are wedding pictures and any group family picture that were hanging on the walls and mantle even the ones with the kids and us. The pictures are gone. I checked the trash cans etc.. nothing MIA, anyone heard of such a thing?

I checked to see if her car was at OM not there unless in the garage, checked her mothers, grandmother and father, not there. I think she went to her GF, why would you take your pillow to OM house...Is it wrong that I don't feel to troubled by this???