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See, most OM don't want trouble from angry husbands. They just want a little side fun and don't give a CRAP about the wayward wife. After all, only the lowest scum would degrade a married woman in such a way. It is obvious he does not care about her. So the idea is to give him as much grief as possible so he will dump her. That is usually what happens.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WD...previously, you mentioned that you are LEO and need to be careful that you do not break any of your departments rules of conduct, etc. Please be careful and prudent in anything you do so that your actions do not fall into the category of harassment or stalking against OM.
You are not to blame for the affair and should not jeopardize your career.
D-Day 1 - May 4, 2012
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FooledMe, That is what I'm worried about, I will confront him, stalking here in MI is defiened as follows
STALKING IS DEFINED AS: �...a �willful course of conduct� involving repeated or continuing harassment of another individual that would cause a reasonable person to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed, or molested, and that actually causes the victim to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed, or molested.� Michigan Penal Code MCLA750.411 h In this definition, �willful course of conduct� refers to a pattern of behavior made up of a series of two or more separate noncontinuous acts which share the same purpose. The term harassed is defined as repeated or continuing unconsented contact directed toward a victim resulting in emotional distress. ANYONE CAN BE A STALKER. ANYONE CAN
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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But its ok to go have infidelity! Something is wrong with this world!!!
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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It sounds promising that I should be going to day shift starting monday, I need this, God has been with me along with you from MB.
It appears that when people like us go across the grain we are considered the abnormal, b/c we decide to fight for what we believe in, the vows we took between God and the church, instead they want us to roll over and just allow it, I bet if the laws were changed that if you caught a person with your spouse they would be put to death or thrown in prison for life, it would lower infidelity and the divorce rate.. People need to live by the word of God, Not man... In 1 corthians there is a verse that states to the married there will be many troubles, 2000 years ago we new this.
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Let see here I sit second guessing myself, I hate when I do this. According to the way my wife responded to the exposure, would we say she was guilty of having an affair? 100% accurate??
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I sure hope the humiliation she is feeling doesn't cause her to just hide and never come back...
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I sure hope the humiliation she is feeling doesn't cause her to just hide and never come back... What is keeping her from coming back is her addiction to the affair, not exposure. Betrayed spouses get fulled into believing that exposure or their past mistakes in the marriage are the cause of the wayward's actions. Nope. Was your wife acting this crazy before her affair? She is a crack addict and you are trying to take her crack pipe away from her. That is why she is reacting like a raging lunatic. And though the humiliation is also hard for her, the worst part is that she knows what she is doing is taboo and that her circle knows about it so now it will be much harder to carry out her fantasy.
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I sure hope the humiliation she is feeling doesn't cause her to just hide and never come back... It would be worse if she lost all sense of shame. That's what creates an atypical WW. It is normal and healthy to be ashamed of adultery. When she confronts it, apologises and starts living a better life she will lose her shame. But she won't do that while the A lives. This is why she cries so much. She can't see doing without it, but it is shameful.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Let see here I sit second guessing myself, I hate when I do this. According to the way my wife responded to the exposure, would we say she was guilty of having an affair? 100% accurate?? I've seen NOTHING here in her reactions, phone calls or texts that's any different than the normal, usual response of the WS script. Remember,,, we told, you prior to exposure, what her response was going to be. "I was going to give us a chance but not now!! You blew it now! I hate you! Don't ever talk to me again" and on & on,,,,,, Your marriage can survive her anger but it won't survive the affair if it's not destroyed. You are doing a great job! Keep it up and don't doubt yourself! You are doing what a strong, loving H has to do. Standing up for your marriage!
Dday- Feb 1998 Recovered!!
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How did her first marriage end? What's the ex like? Can you see her son soon?
Have you exposed to your daughter? Could she tell her stepbrother?
Who is this girlfriend she's staying with and does she support the A?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I don't know which Girlfriends she is staying at, her son is at his Dad's, She told me if there was a glimmer of a glimmer of hope you ruined it now. She told me if there was a glimmer of hope i ruined it, when someone told her from my family, she even said you will throw it back in my face referring to the A.
I don't know if her girlfriend supports the A. My wife didn't tell me which GF. Not sure why she hasn't come home yet, unless she is trying to make me worry, or her addiction is strong. She did take all the wedding pictures and pictures that had us and kids together. I did find one photobooth picture of me and the wife torn in half in my sock drawer..
Last edited by wifedivorcing; 03/30/14 07:21 AM.
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I drove by OM house last night, I didn't see her car but she could be parked in the garage... She did ask if I had to work today b/c she needed to come home and do some stuff and she said she didn't want to see me..
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I do believe she will have to eventually come home, step son can't stay at his dads forever and how long is her GF going to want her to stay with her. My wife wasn't acting crazy before I exposed. She did seem to avoid me, she slept moore and said she is so tired and needs to get motivated, she stopped caring about the house, and we didn't have any kids on the weekends I was off she was going out and always said with a GF. My brother told me before the divorce was filed he noticed for sometime on fridays when we didn't have kids she was gone. When she filed for divorce she seemed to go out more without any regard to me. When I asked if she wanted to go do something with me, she would first think about it and then tell me no. I think she felt like she was betraying the OM.
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Nerlycrzy, I heard all of those responses, I was just letting my mind wander and that makes me to start thinking into it to much..
I haven't heard from her Mother, I'm very suprised, she is a BS, and her Mother Is a BS. Grandma is a really nice lady who really liked me a lot. I tried calling her on exposure day and couldn't get through. She isnt on FB. I wonder if I should call her. According to my wife her Grandpa was cheating on her. Grandma allowed it and she talks how much she loved him and she still talks about him as if he never did wrong. He has passed sometime ago..
My wife did tell me this Grandpa use to always teller how homley she was when she was a child. My wife has low self esteem, likeyou wouldn't believe.
Last edited by wifedivorcing; 03/30/14 07:51 AM.
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Let see here I sit second guessing myself, I hate when I do this. According to the way my wife responded to the exposure, would we say she was guilty of having an affair? 100% accurate?? Your wife is having a sexual affair and she is behaving just like other cheaters behave when they are exposed. Don't second guess yourself for a second!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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It sounds promising that I should be going to day shift starting monday, I need this, God has been with me along with you from MB. This is great news! Does this mean you are off work tonight? Also, I would call the grandmother and the mother and tell them you love your wife very much and ask them to use their influence to persuade her to end her affair. See if they will help you out. It would also help if her mother called the OM directly and told him to buzz off. Your wife is with the OM, I am sorry to say. All they did was hide her car somewhere and he picked her up.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My wife is home, and she is still pissed, I asked how she was and she said not good. I told her I'm sorry that she is angry and I did this to save our marriage. She told me all the things I was doing before would of saved our marriage, but what I did was uncalled for and it can't be saved. I told her I'm sorry she is hurting. She then went on to say I hope your attorney is back tomorrow b/c there is a fair proposal and I need you to get moving on this, I want this done fast referring to divorce. Step son is home also, he won't even speak to me, so I don't know how to tell him what is going on. He hates me...My wife then said, I thought you were working tonight I said no not anymore. She then said great I'm leaving, I said you don't have to. She then said she is exhausted and she is going to lay down.. I did tell her that our marriage is still worth working on it.
At this point what do I say to here and how do I act.
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I think her son must know something about other man, b/c he asked if FG (FG is code name for me)was being a douche, when she was talking to him the night I heard her talking to OM, Son was in the car whith her when she was taling to me about divorce stuff. she was explaining it to OM on phone.
I left the DNA kit out, along with the book, on our dresser. She took it. I asked her if she seen my book on the deresser she said your affair book, I put in your closet and your DNA kit I put it in toilet, so get some toilet DNA, but I'm sure you had another one. I didn't say anything, I just said oh.
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I was at church when she came home.
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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