My beautiful 31 year old wife is haveing an affair with a 17 year old.We are in councleing together, however she tells me she will not end it unless we are separated. I don't think this is the right way to do this. She feels she can't endure the withdrwals with me around,she is being very stubborn on this point.Some background: we are both recovering drug addicts,3 years each. During our last session it was revealed to me the exact nature of the destruction of my addiction both before and during recovery.It is very painful to look at my deffects of character. Inthe past month I've made alot of changes and grown spiritually. I am willing to meet her basic needs,however she doesn't want me to.I love her very much.Our situation matches alot of Jon and Sue's situation,in the book,Surviving An Affair.I have been making as many deposits in her love bank as I can And it's starting to have some effect,should I just proceed to plan B and hope history is on my side? I have been praying dilligently for God to show me his will, so has my wife.I truly believe it is Gods will for us to be a couple. I am open to any comments or suggestions.One other thing she is still wearing her wedding bands,am I reading too much into this? What should we tell our 3 year old daughter should we sepparate? Please help.<BR>WJ<P>------------------<BR>BB

WilliamJ - how long since discovery?<P>lori

Lostva,<BR> She has known this boy for 4 months the affair has been going on for about a month. She has ended it 3 times<P>------------------<BR>BB

WilliamJ,<P>You two have been through alot! Since you are both recovering addicts, you can probably see the parrallels here to infidelity and addiction. Your W has a big struggle ahead of her. <P>I am feeling so bad for you and her, too. Keep up with the counseling. Your W can get over this affair/addiction, but it sure won't be easy.<P>Best of luck...<P>Roll Me Away

WilliamJ,<BR>Roll Me Away is right you two have bee through a lot together. She could also be suffering from what my W went through: having a hard time with the 30's. I am still not convinced that she is over it. I can aonly assume that she is re-evaluating what she has accomplished in her life and sees the excitement of having an affair with someone younger than her thrilling. My W is still experiencing some oof this now.<P>I will pray for you and your W. Hang tough, God will answer your prayers but in His time. He wants you to get really close to Him.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

Keep in Plan A, it seems too soon to go to Plan B. If she has tried breaking it off, I would think that that would have a better chance if you are both together.<P>Best of luck and God Bless.

WJ,<BR>How long have YOU known about the affair?<P>Do not agree to a separation. If she wants to leave, then it is her decision. But Harley says if the betraing spouse wants a separation, it is usually to make it easier to get together with the op. It happened to me & it has happened to others I know personally, plus others on this forum.<P>Why did you go to Plan B so soon? To "force" her into making a decision?<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

hummmm:<P>W is 31, boytoy is 17...Does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?<P>If your W doesn't watch out, she could find herself in jail.<P>In most States...it's called rape and being 17, that makes him a minor<P>Just some thoughts you might want to relay to your W<P>gmc900