Almost a month ago, my wife decided that she didn't want to come home after work and decided to go to a friends house and kept saying that she was done and that she wanted a divorce. I, of course, was distraught and I begged, pleaded, and did everything that I thought was right in the situation. She was adamant about not trying to work on the marriage anymore and all I wanted was to talk to her face to face to find out what had happened to make her feel this way.

She came over the next night to get some things to live with her friend and we talked for hours all the time crying and her saying that she was no longer in love with me and that she had no feelings for me but I wouldn't just let it go. I made her stay and talk about everything that had happened which was when she finally told me she had cheated on me, she said it was a one time thing and that she had never seen the guy again.

I was crushed! How could the woman I had known for 3 years and had been married to for just 5 months cheat on me after less than 2 months of marriage? I was angry, I grabbed her and yelled at her to tell me what she was thinking when she did it. I didn't hurt her, I didn't hit her, I just scared her. She stayed the night and we cuddled in bed but she didn't want to be there. She said she felt trapped and wanted nothing more than to just run away.

Two days later I hacked into her Facebook account and found out that the one time cheating was actually a 3 month affair and it was still going on. Not only that but it was with her best female friend. I confronted her with the information and she called me later that day crying saying she missed me and loved me and wanted to work on this marriage. I was so happy, I was willing to forgive her for the affair and work on our marriage because I believe that marriage should be forever.

Four days later, she left again. Saying that the weekend only reaffirmed her feelings for me and she knew that it wouldn't work out and that all of my changes were just a ploy to get her back. I admitted to her that I hadn't been there emotionally for her because of the stress of losing my job right after the honeymoon. I retreated into a hole and didn't talk to her, didn't support her, and was just there physically. But no matter what I did there's no way that she should have cheated on me and with a woman none the less.

In the weeks that followed I have only spoken to my wife a few times, only seen her for 5 minutes, and I have partially exposed the affair. I have told her parents, my parents, my best friends, and her friends. She promises her parents that the affair is over but they're constantly texting one another and now she has blocked me completely from texting or calling her because last Tuesday I called her and told her that she needed to choose between her lover or me. And she told me to file for divorce.

I moved out of the house and into a hotel room for the month, given her all the space she wanted, and hoped that her parents could talk some sense into her considering she was raised in a very religious household and had always been spiritual. But no one can get through to her, she is still keeping something from us all, still saying that she doesn't want to try to work on the marriage, and said last night that maybe we could be friends one day but nothing else.

I have done everything I could to show her that I'm willing to work on the marriage and that I forgive her for her affair but instead of trying to work on it, she's too angry at me for telling her best friend about the affair. In the four weeks that this all happened, I have found a new job, moved out so she could have her space, and have started to work towards my future. I am not giving up on her completely because I feel like she has lost herself in this whole process and isn't thinking clearly. Maybe I'm just an idiot to think that this can all be salvageable in the end.

Start from the beginning and read the links posted on this forum. There is a Start here first thread that gives you the roadmap on how to do exposure.
You have made some mistakes.
First thing is move back home, that is your house also. You are enabling her affair.

tgrogan,

You also need to expose the female affair partner, do it completely, suddenly and without warning or threats. Do not tell your wife! Does the affair partner have a boyfriend or significant other?

God Bless
Gamma

The moving back home is pretty much impossible. After the honeymoon I lost my job for a couple months and the wedding pretty much wiped out any savings I had so because of that we had to move in with her parents. Not a great start to the marriage but when the whole thing went down, she left to go to a friends house until I could get a place to stay of my own. Now shes back at her parents house and they are all on my side with this whole thing.

I have exposed the other woman to her husband and they have both blocked me on facebook and the contact between my wife and the OW has died down considerably in the last few days. But she's still saying that she doesn't want to reconcile. I just bought "His Needs, Her Needs" and have learned so much and I hope to be able to pass it along to my wife.

Tgrogan,

I have exposed the other woman to her husband

I would expose the other woman to her parents, her brothers and sisters, her grand parents, her church family if there is one, her workplace especially and etc. Make sure they know OW is an adulteress.

As much as people act tough and claim they don't care about their reputations, OW will and will associate your WW with shame rather than pleasure.

Does she have a linkedin account?

God Bless
Gamma

Have you read this?
SAA-Start Here First-Welcome

Who on your WW's side have you exposed to?

Other than the OW's BH whom have you exposed to on OW's side?