I brought home roses for her and she liked them,appreciated them and thanked me for them even when she was mad at me as she was discussing what I did to her by exposing. I like how she continues to only see what I did never mind the affair, when will she crack. Grrrrrr!

I almost feel like I'm just prolonging my own healing time by fighting this. I feel like just giving in and telling her here you go. Go be happy or whatever it is this posom is doing for you.

When the A is dead, an NC letter has been sent and she has had no contact for some weeks. Until that time her head is full of goofy juice.

Once she is sober she will flat out refuse to believe she said most of this stuff. She honestly won't remember.



That's Plan B. You've still got Plan B in your back pocket. Just make sure you give her an excellent Plan A first. You're doing great.

Don't worry I won't give in.

The one thing I hear her saying all the time is, it can't work b/c of the humiliation, not these exact words but just but implied. She will say things like I can't face your family etc...

She seems to be in a better mood. Not sure if she has talked to him or what.

Fog babble translation: "Stop exposing. It makes me see that sneaking around is humiliating. Before I was able to sneak around without realising it was humiliating!"

Nobody would have an A if they knew it was going to be exposed. It's nasty and humiliating. We only do nasty and humiliating things when we think people can't see us doing them.

Indie, you're right fog babble. I know this is a marathon. I feel like I need 1 day to just sleep. My daughter and I talked again this morning she is numb to it. She said she doesn't want anything to do with it. I told her that when things get tough we have to stand up and fight for what is right. She agreed. She has seen so much devistation with affairs and Divorce . She said to many people in her famil our divorced. I did tell her I am going to fight for this family.

Would your Daughter speak to your Wife and express how much an intact family means to her and her Step Brother, along with reinforcing how much you love your Wife and will not sit back and let some outsider break up the family?

LTL

I'll talk to her when I pick her up from school. See what she says. There has been a lot of divorce in her life. I think she just wants to hide or avoid anything about it. I told her earlier we need to fight for our family to keep it together...

I would just say "they love you dearly and want to see our marriage work out. They are supporting our marriage."

Mel, that actually is a true statement from all of my family.

Remind her too, that they are all Her Family too. They care deeply for her and your marriage.

LTL

She keeps telling me I'm delusional b/c the marriage is over and also I'm being bullheaded, stubborn and selfish. I just told I'm for our family.

I talk to my attorney today she said she got a message from wife's attorney on Friday. a settlement proposal, and my wife said she fairs for her safety and that I put a message on social media and was soliciting DNA. I never solicited DNA. I said if any one needs evidence I have it. Attorney advised me to stop this and get it done with.

I told my attorney she is having an affair and I put two different letters to selected persons through FB IM. I also told her if she fears for her safety why is she back in the home. She was oh really. I told her I know your my attorney and you will advise against social media etc.. but I'm trying to save this marriage. I said it's liable or slander if it isn't true. I said we then can request phone records etc.. I asked her to buy me time she said no problem. I will blow him off. I told her I'm trying to save this family. She was all for it...

If the attorney questions your tactics further just tell her that you are following the advice of a national marriage expert, Dr. Willard Harley.

How long before you confront the POSOM?

Remember..... Calm, yet Firm. Let him know you will bring down Armageddon upon his life if he EVER tries to interfere with your Wife and Marriage again.

Next, prepare yourself for more outrage, insults, resentment and self pity depression from your Wife.

Be prepared for statements such as;

If you really loved me, you would let me go.

We haven't had a real marriage for years, except on a piece of paper.

God wouldn't want to remain in an unhappy marriage.

I just need to move on with my life.

We've outgrown each other.

I'm not your possession that you can just control and manipulate.

Etc...

Keep emotional reactions out of your mind. Validate that you understand why she would currently feel that way. Keep doing the next right thing and be supportive, without becoming a doormat.

You do have to maintain your personal boundaries.

And, keep the VAR turned on.

Did you install the GPS Tracker, preferably a Real Time version on her vehicle yet?

What about hiding the spare VAR's inside of her car and in the room at your home that she goes to sulk and hide away.

Keep going strong. Only the strong, patient and persistent come out on top.

LTL

Just pity her poor lawyer. She will have gone in there guns blazing, asking for the impossible - "Get him banged up for making me feel unsafe! But I still want to live with him". In these situations, the lawyer will say "Do you want me to put that in a letter to his lawyer?" It's often just to appease their crazy client.

What an interesting glimpse into chicken OM's state of mind!

Unfortunately for his paranoid delusions he has to a) prove it and b) get someone to care that he has realised it might be careless to leave DNA in the panties of a cop's wife.

If this makes him nervous maybe he shouldn't do it!

Way to go with asserting your position with your attorney.

Sometimes they need to be reminded what YOUR Desired Result is and to put forth their best aggressive tactics to fervently achieve your desired goal to the best of their legal and humanly compassionate abilities.

LTL

Is MI a One Party or Two Party consent State for recordings to be admissible in court?

Regardless, please sincerely realize that your Wayward Wife's emotions are aiming to get you out of the picture so she can pursue her fantasy romance, even including trumped up BS charges for Abuse against you, compelling a court ordered TRO.

You know 1st hand how easily those TRO's are Rubber Stamped.

Prior to your confrontation with the POSOM, could you meet with your Wife in a public location for lunch or coffee and record a conversation that steers in the direction of verifying that you have Never verbally or physically abused her or put her in harms way?

You need to understand how irrational a Wayward will become and even temporarily believe their own lies and rewritten marital history.

LTL

I got a GPS. But it's not real time. It's the logger. I can't meet her for lunch. if they put a restraing order on me so be it. I won't be the first cop having one. I do have to put the GPS on her car. They are all out of them. Big business. When she told me about it the restraining order yesterday. She was back and forth with it. you know I'm not like that etc. I don't care. they will take my gun and put me on desk duty for six months. If she was so afraid of me. Why are you in the same house. I'm tired of her telling me everything would of probably saved our marriage if you didn't tell everyone I had an affair...he is going down today.