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Yes I'm back home.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
She said I can't stop him, I said thats fine I will fight it and I won't want you seeing him, she said she isnt. I don't believe it.

That's great!! Since the affair is over, she shouldn't mind sending him a no contact letter.

Originally Posted by Dr Bill Harley
My advice is to write a final letter in a way that the victimized spouse would agree to send it. It should begin with a statement of how selfish it was to cause those they loved so much pain, and while marital reconciliation cannot completely repay the offense, it's the right thing to do. A statement should be made about how much the unfaithful spouse cares about his spouse and family, and for their protection, has decided to completely end the relationship with the lover. He or she has promised never to see or communicate with the lover again in life, and asks the lover to respect that promise. Nothing should be said about how much the lover will be missed. After the letter is written, the victimized spouse should read and approve it before it is sent.
here


[from SAA, pg 58]

OW, I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk to you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that BS did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay BS for the pain I caused her, I will do my best to become the husband she has been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.

Sincerely, XXXXX




"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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My wife picked me up and she again tells me she was reconsidering coming back until I exposed the affair and confronted other man and exposing to the kids. I told her that eventualley when the time comes she will see why and what I did was important. She got real pissed again, she said everyone is worried about her safety with me. Lets see what did you tell them about me??? I have been calm through this whole thing. She lied to everyone that she isnt having an affair, and then turned around to make me look crazy and had my EX put me in the LOONEY BIN for 5 days. Hello!!!! I told her that her and SS need to come home she said no b/c I'm here etc... I just told its her choice. Even through this ordeal I continue to keep giving her love. She asked me if this is how Jesus would of handled it. I told her I believe Jesus is the one who guided me this way and yes I beleive Jesus would of told the truth. I also told her Jesus wants our marriage. She continue to tell me I handled it wrong and it just confirms her reason for leaving, I just simply said ok. I never got mad at her. She continue to say I should handledit differently, I asked her how, She said by keeping our business private and not telling anyone etc.. and not having my son find out. I said I understand why she would feel this way angry and sad etc... I told her no matter what has happened each day is a new day to rebuild our marriage and it will be 100 of times greater. She did leave angry b/c I wouldn't tell her what I did was wrong. we then drove off.

I sent her a few sweet text and then got her to laugh while I was driving along side of her by flirting with her. So I did at least leave her with a smile on her face.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Wow. I am speechless. Glad you are ok.

AM


BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
My wife picked me up and she again tells me she was reconsidering coming back until I exposed the affair and confronted other man and exposing to the kids.

In other words, the affair is not over!!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I've been following your thread wd but haven't posted to you because you are in good hands. Just know there are other people out there rooting for you. You've done nothing wrong and everything right. Keep up the good work and you will get through this.


Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur

DS(11)
DD(7)

Married: June 24, 2000

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I Know Mel, The funny thing is she was there for me for this whole mess, I believe it is still going on too, I don't believe her, heck I waqs just sent away for 5 days of my life. I had to participate into group meetings and interact. I was the only person who had logic in my answers. I was stripped of all my property clothes and put into hosp pants and gowns. I was told when to eat, showermwatch t.v. etc... i'm supposeto believe her when she said shes not seeing him anymore?? I really don't know what to do at this point, he filed a PPO against me so I have to fight it. I don't want to go near him anymore anywaysm he's a coward. I have been threatend by 1000's of people and I never ran out to get a restraining order.

I just checked my VAR and I recorded the conversation with my EX so she is in trouble. I left the thing on in my upper pocket.

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/06/14 06:44 PM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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wife called me, asking if I called her, I said know why, she said she had an unknown call. I said oh ok. I asked how SS is andshe said on the way to get him, I said oh ok, you guys should come home. She said don't tell me what I should do and no wee not coming home. I said ok, well I'll let you go she said bye and we hung up. She called me back 4 times and text me "can I please speak to you for a minute" She then text me 10 mis later "never mind". I'm not trying to be mean, I'm tired, I'm Hurt like you wouldn't believe, I just spent 5 days in hell to save a marriage.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I think I just need to call it quits and work through my pain and be done with it..


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Apr 2001
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I think I just need to call it quits and work through my pain and be done with it..

I would definitely back off and focus on protecting yourself from her. She is very, very dangerous to you.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Glad you are out of there.



Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
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Mel, She was there for me during the whole 5 days. I'm tired I need to sleep, I haven't slept for 5 days. I will fall asleep and the man next to me would do weird things around 3 am in the morning every night. Just so much restlessness going on there. They asked if I wanted anything to relax me I said no way. I didn't take anything.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Under what pretense did your Ex-Wife have so much power of escalating this situation to such an inordinately unjustifiable mental health involuntary incarceration?

How can you protect yourself from her proceeding with this level of contempt against you again in the future?

I feel your responses to your current Wife have remained admirably in line with previous suggestions, yet as long as she is away and still wayward, either in thought or actions, that contact should be only when you could put your best foot forwards.

When she continually repeats her outrage against your exposure, it may be best just to state that the issue has already been discussed and you did what you felt was right to fight for your marriage. should If there is no other topic to jointly discuss, then just call it quits till the next encounter.

If she insists her contact with POSOM is over, she should be willing to hand write the required NC letter that you review and mail out to the POSOM.

If she is not willing to do that, then you know she is still in contact for sure.

LTL

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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Mel, She was there for me during the whole 5 days.

You were in there due to your wife's affair. I still don't understand how an American citizen can be held prisoner for 5 days for no reason. How did that happen?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I think I just need to call it quits and work through my pain and be done with it..

I would definitely back off and focus on protecting yourself from her. She is very, very dangerous to you.

Yes and get some rest. Are you due back at work any time soon?

AM


BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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What happened at your appointment with the workplace shrink? What made him/her think you needed to be hospitalized?

AM


BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
[quote=wifedivorcing]Mel, She was there for me during the whole 5 days.

You were in there due to your wife's affair. I still don't understand how an American citizen can be held prisoner for 5 days for no reason. How did that happen? [/quote

That is a great question, I will be finding out how a person tell another person I said something and that person be ordered by people above to have me petitioned. My EX is a manipulative evil person, I will have to tell you that. The one and only phone conversation I have had in about 3 months with her was tuesday evening and I recorded it. So I will be lodging an investigation and I'm seeking a lawyer for monteray punitive damages. This should never ever happen to any person who has not voiced they were going to hurt themselves or others, or who has not displayed a behavior that is dangerous to them self or others, or displayed behavior that a person can not take care of themselves. Trust me I find this absouletly insane.


My Ex knows some very important people in this dept.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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That is very scary. I realize you live in a 3rd world country, but I never dreamed conditions had disinigrated this much there.

Do you have a lawyer?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I let the phone and text go today, maybe she needs to think about everything. I like how she blames me for this. I told yes its crazy what an affair can do!!!!

She told me she needs to take a look at herself and see why she did what she ???? she stopped herself from saying why she had the affair, I told her if she needs counseling then by all means work on you, however i'm your husband and I'm there for you..


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Joined: Mar 2014
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I have my divorce attorney and my sister found an attorney that deals with mental health law. USA has turned into a 3rd world country for sure.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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