Yes her emotions are all over the place. I'm going to stay away from the house. She is off today and I don't. Want her bargaing in when I'm home. I will go to sisters. My job will be fine. I guys I was the first member to go through such a situation like this. They really want my input on it.

AMEN TO ALL OF THIS!! ^^^^^^

Your WW is NOT any form of herself right now, and she WON'T be for a few months after she stops any form of contact. You are not dealing with your wife right now, you are dealing with the affair (the enemy).

You have got to be strategic in this or you'll be right back where you started. There IS obvious trouble in affair-land. I suggest leaving them alone and letting them stew at each other for a bit (WHILE you are re-grouping and getting some rest).

She is upset about exposure.
She is mad that you exposed the affair and "caused everyone else's life/affair to be out of order"

I would follow Melody's suggestion;
Spend today focusing on legal protection

Right now (in her mind) she has much to worry about and discuss because of what she describes as her crazy husband. Most likely she is crying on the OM's shoulder. She has been crying to him since the A started from day 1. He listened to her, agreed with her assessment of you and THAT is the reason he was able to make LB deposits. You have been enemy #1. Heck, the OM even told you that.

Once there isn't anything else from her to 'run' from, the A will have to stand on it's own 2 legs. It will crumble quickly then.

Again, if she doesn't have any more 'ammo' to use against you...that is a good thing. Don't give it to her. Let's see how strong her relationship is with the OM then.

I think you placed the affair in Panic mode with exposure and she is freaking out because she IS LOOSING CONTROL

The OM also told this poster that "I know your weakness" and boldly told him to basically back off from his affair.
I think ww had a much larger role in placing you in the hospital than you think; Your lawyer can secure your medical records and see just how extensive of a role she played.

The people in charge at your work are scared to death that you are going to sue them. So use this to find out who pulled all the strings on your incarceration and what involvement your wife and the POSOM may have had.

Good move going to your sister's house. Hopefully, she will be around to offer support.

Your wife is on the verge of a nervous breakdown herself. She is incoherent and very confused. She is not ready to go no cotact with the POSOM, but I think one day she will.

You had such an effective Plan A exposure that you blew her fantasy to smithereens. I think that she is angry, guilt ridden, heartbroken over POSOM, and also worried about you. Her responses make her sound like an bratty teenager. It's all about me. Typical wayward sucked into full "Taker" mode. Let some time pass, and see if she snaps out of it.

If it were me, I would follow up with another text.

Dear _______,
I have been through the ringer these past few weeks, especially last week. Please give me the space and time I need to recover from all of this. I will be in touch later.

With love,
WD

hi there, you sound okay considering everything.
Your wife is doing what waywards do at this stage, she is realizing what her choices have done to everyone and she is desperately trying to get herself off the hook and you are the target she has to rewrite that history in order for her to be able to accept what she has done��..she is wrestling in her own mind and she is scared she is not sure about a future with OM they are probably disagreeing and showing their true colours right now the fantasy relationship is a shambles now humiliation is now the cornerstone of that relationship.
Remember isn't this the OM's second round and he bailed then on his family, he will bail on your wife too, just sit back leave her alone and let her only have him for comfort she will see the difference WD, let that happen this is what you want her to see him for what he is���
Your wife has a ways to go before she stops blaming everyone else instead of her own stupidity.
when I was in this part I just let my husband miss the life we had and the family we had and let him invasion a life with his OW after all he was telling me he wanted a life with her I said many times then go what is stopping you, he said he never considered I would be out of his life for good, you see they see it all as a rosy end, the new partner and the friendly spouse and kids all happy and getting alone�..it was meant to be��fantasy falls apart when you show her that she won't have you and the family she had she will be forced to think about it all.
Just keep saying the lawyers can handle the divorce stuff that you need to look after yourself now.
She might be screaming this is what she wants but she is scared that is what she is going to get��.
Be still for now, enjoy your visit with your sister and just don't be available for her
let the affair end all on it's own because it isn't as great as she thought.
be still WD

Hi WD. I am glad to see that you are ok. You have shown super calm and strength through all of this. I am in awe!!!

Why is this not the perfect strategic time for WD to plan B? At least for a little while? If things are crashing on her end, wouldn't a Plan B or something that seemed like a Plan B help bring an end to her affair more quickly? In hindsight, it is easy to see that she REALLY has been eating cake!! Two guys meeting her needs. Now that WD is withdrawing, she is feeling the downside of not having two guys meeting her needs.

You are getting the best advice from everyone here. I really do admire your strength.

Dr. Harley doesn't recommend that men do a Plan B if he can still mentally and physically carry on. Men are different from women in that they can do a great Plan A without much damage to themselves.

And the good thing about a man staying in Plan A for as long as he can is that if they do eventually end up divorcing, he will have lost his love for her, making the divorce a little less painful for him.

if he wants to save his marriage and is physically and mentally able to handle Plan A, he should Plan A for as long as possible waiting for the affair to die a natural death.

I was just asking about the strategic benefit of trying to not meet her needs for a while. She is obviously responding to that. I understand the need for him to plan A though.

I just got a text from wife she is at the house and another text stating she is tired of my games and she said she is going to shut all the utilities off.

I'm going text what just wrote.

What should I do plan A she is blowing my phone up.

I might give you the wrong advice, so I will just say take a deep breath and try to remain calm. She is REALLY trying to get your attention now. If she turns the utilities off, can you turn them back on in your name?

Yes. I can it would just be electricity. That's the only thing in her name. What should I do. I can talk to her and tell her I was in a meeting with work.

Well, others have told you to avoid her for a while. I do not that would be part of a good plan A though. I will say that I really believe that you should also take some time for yourself. You have really been through the wringer, and she is trying to keep you there.

What I am trying to say is that it is ok to take a day or two (or however long you need to center your emotions) to yourself. She is trying to control you and this whole situation right now.

Send her the text (see my revisions below), and then retreat to your sister's house. If she won't respect your needs and wishes, turn off the phone. Explain it to her this way:

Dear ___,
I have been put through the wringer these past few weeks, and especially the last few days. Please give me the time and space I need to recover. Do not contact me. I will be back in touch in a few days.

Thank you for your understanding.

With love,
WD