All right. I will call her.

What you need to do is get legal help and make sure you are legally protected. I think your wife is dangerous given the bizarre circumstances at your workplace. I can't even imagine how this all happneedd in a city in the US.

Just keep your distance for the next couple of days until you speak to your attorney.

You DO want to stay in Plan A, but you have to protect yourself FIRST.

I just tried to call her and she didn't answer.

But first, CALL HER BACK to see what is on her mind and if you can calm her down.

Just call her!! You have a lot going on here. You need to start thinking about yourself, your job, Your daughter and not going back to a mental facility or worse Jail. You Need to get Legal advise and focus on you and what is important. Your Crazy wife should not be your focus!

Then let her call back and answer her call this time. If she starts bullying you and carrying on, just politely end the call and don't take anymore calls.

I know she picks her SS gets picked up at this time. I actually feel relieved in a away.

She still hasn't called me back. really she must of called me 40 times. And now she won't answer me calling her back.

I find this really interesting. The minute I pull away from her this is what happens she blows my phone up. I call her back and then she doesn't answer. What's that all about. I continue to her how selfish I am. Because I need to stop out for a little bit, to gather myself. My job and everything will be ok, even with the restraining order. My mental health has never been stronger. I do have feelings and of course I have some sadness. I'm actually physically tired I need a good night sleep.

Apparently whatever she needed to talk to me about wasn't that important.

Be patient.

This is a marathon, not a sprint.

You only allowed 9 minutes to pass by since you posted that you did try calling her, to freaking out in, panic that she did not reply yet.

Maybe she is busy with the SS.

Maybe she doesn't want to have a conversation with you in his presence.

Maybe she changed her mind.

The point is, you have NO control over her actions.

You did what you had to do. Wait. She will eventually call back again.

Keep it short.

LTL

When you speak with her, I would just stick to this line: "I am willing to work with you to create a loving marriage but you must first end your affair."

If she starts yelling at you, or name calling then say: "I do not want to be yelled at," and HANG UP.

If she blames you, say "I know I have neglected you and made many mistakes. I am willing to change and meet your needs but you must first end your affair."

EDIT: I asked my Wed night Bible study group to pray for you, and have placed your family on our Sunday School prayer list.
So know that many people on MB and elsewhere are praying for your marriage.

In the meantime, reach out to your Priest during these trying times.

Yes, do this.

Update time, I went home to check on the house and sure enough w was leaving with SS. I pulled into the driveway and she turned around and pulledin the driveway. I was standing there VAR on, and she began to tell me how I wasn't there for her and, how selfish I was for not answering her, she continue to tell me that she was having a nervous break down and I wasn't there for her. I told her I have always been there for her, I never left. I asked her how SS is she said fine, I said I'm going to say hi to him she said no he hates you. I just waived at him in the car. I told her I want a loving marriage and family. She then went onto me wanting space. I said I do need space I just went through a horrific thing. I need a few days. She said I hope you enjoy your space permentaly b/c thats what you want right? In my head I'm like what. I told her again you know what I want and that is a loving marriage etc. She also told me she no longer needed to talk to me b/c someone else who cares about her listeto her. I simply said ok, shethen said it was my Mother, I said Ok. She did take more clothes with her. she then left.

I went into the house and the roses I bought her she ripped all the flowers off the stems and threw them in the garbage. I then went into the bedroom and the book Surviving an Affair and Divorce busting were torn in pieces thrown all over the bed with a note on my pillow. "I hope you enjoy your space"

Five min after she left she called me telling about the book etc..I just said ok. She then went on to tell me that she wants to come home. I told her we still can have a loving marrage and family and its going to take alot of work. I'm willing to put in the work with her. She didn't say much. she just listen, she then said she wants to come home. I said then come home. I even asked her if we could go a coffee later, she said she had SS and cant leave him at her friends house. I said I have to get going, I didn't want to be on the phone sounding like a broken record, she seemed a litte upset I was ending the conversation. She then said ok then bye... I had to get off the phone. I needed a minute. I ask

Be very careful being alone with her!!
The kids should be there and you need to have backup batteries and storage for that VAR.

She also asked me what happen with work. I just told her everything is fine. She goes what do you mean fine. I said I will worry about work. She was like what it's not my business, I said it will be fine. I told her they want me to take some more time. Even though I asked for the time. She said I'm concerned with you job. I said it's I will be fine. She didn't like how is wouldnt give her much information. She even said it must be nice to get time off and I'm having a break down and I.still have to work. I just ignored it. This was from the phone call after she left the house. She tears things up and I don't even acknowledge it. She got to be thinking like what is up with this guy.

The SS son was watching from the car this took place in the garage, when I spoke to her I did stroke her cheek with the back of my hand and touched her shoulder. A little physical touch during PLAN A conversation.

Since WW wants to come home, ask her to agree to no contact with OM for life and to write a no contact letter after the format below.

[from SAA, pg 58]

OW, I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife (husband) and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk to you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that BS did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay BS for the pain I caused her/him, I will do my best to become the husband she has been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.


Sincerely, XXXXX"

AM

Your wife is transposing her guilt onto you.

I don't know whether or not she is plotting and conniving as some have suggested. For me it's hard to tell. I sensed early on that your attempts at LB deposits were successful and she liked them. I believe they threw her off and confused her. No doubt that she really is having a nervous breakdown. My wife acted incoherent and nutty when she ended her affair, and she handed me the lever that would end her affair. Your wife may do this.

ArmyMama's suggestion to ask her to end contact for life is a good one. I was thinking the same thing.

See what she says.

I agree if she comes home or calls to let me know she wants to come home. I will tell her this. Is this a condition for her to come home?