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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 5 |
I am new to this forum and am 5 years out from discovery of my husband's six year affair with a co-worker. For financial reasons, he still needs to work with her (we lost everything we had in the late 80's and we are still rebuilding and don't have near enough money for retirement--I am 66 and he is 67). My question is: should I use the tracking and recording devices even at this late date?
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,433
Member
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Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,433 |
They are still working together. That means the affair has never ended. Unless affair partners are permanently separated, the attachment remains.
You have allowed financial concerns to override marital concerns. So, even five years from discovery, you are still dealing with an active affair. So, yes, snooping is still appropriate. The sorry fact is, it won't matter in the end if you save enough for retirement, because you won't really have a marriage partner to retire with. If he doesn't chose to go with her, he will still have little true attachment to you.
me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I am new to this forum and am 5 years out from discovery of my husband's six year affair with a co-worker. For financial reasons, he still needs to work with her (we lost everything we had in the late 80's and we are still rebuilding and don't have near enough money for retirement--I am 66 and he is 67). My question is: should I use the tracking and recording devices even at this late date? There is no point in trying to save your marriage if he continues to work with the OW. Your marriage will never make it. Just accept that the affair is ongoing. You don't need a tracking device to know that.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
You have sacrificed your marriage for your husbands job.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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