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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Do you know how hard it is to defend yourself when know one wanted to listen to me at the crisis center or at the hospital. It was very frustrating. So in there eyes every LEO who is going through a divorse, exposes an affair and confronts POSOM is crazy and must go to a crisis center and then mental hospital. It is absolutely nuts that this is what happened.

You should take dr Harley's new version of Surviving An Affair and show those psychos what he says about exposure.

I do have to get a new copy, you better believe I will show them his book.

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/08/14 04:12 PM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Yeah you are in Plan A, do something wonderful with your wife. Keep your guard up, (watch out on intamcy and have the VAR)

Counseling for the wayward, especially a fogged out one, is a huge no-no. Typically, the counselor validates all her fog babble and you are now working against another person also.
The typical IC is not trained/practiced in adultery and putting marriages back together. Unless the counselor is Dr. Harley type.

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My old partner and friend is going to to talk to his good friend who is a prosecutor for a city and find a good lawyer for me who I can trust to keep this from happening again and persue monetary and punitive damages.

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/08/14 04:17 PM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by NebDane
Yeah you are in Plan A, do something wonderful with your wife. Keep your guard up, (watch out on intamcy and have the VAR)

Counseling for the wayward, especially a fogged out one, is a huge no-no. Typically, the counselor validates all her fog babble and you are now working against another person also.
The typical IC is not trained/practiced in adultery and putting marriages back together. Unless the counselor is Dr. Harley type.

I know now no counseling, I only wish there were counselors here like him. I know they have phone ones.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I see everyone is against the counseling, so thats a no. My wife did mention about going herself, so that would be ok? right? I got a real time GPS, I did tell her I was going to finish getting new tires for her car last saturday, I need to get the old gps logger and replase it with the real time. I guess I will buying three new tires for her car..


I would not encourage her to see a counselor.
At this point, your focus should be on Plan A.
Counselors are not trained on how to deal with a wayward; in many cases, they encourage divorce.

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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Is it a good idea to take my wife out for the day if she is willing to go with me?? I would like to spend some time with her, so I can fill her LB.

Yes, this is an excellent idea.
HOWEVER, I WOULD PLACE EVERYTHING ON HOLD UNTIL YOU HAVE CONSULTED WITH DR HARLEY AND AN ATTORNEY ABOUT PROTECTING YOURSELF

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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Is it a good idea to take my wife out for the day if she is willing to go with me?? I would like to spend some time with her, so I can fill her LB.

Yes, this is an excellent idea.
HOWEVER, I WOULD PLACE EVERYTHING ON HOLD UNTIL YOU HAVE CONSULTED WITH DR HARLEY AND AN ATTORNEY ABOUT PROTECTING YOURSELF

I won't encourage counseling, I guess my wife is having a bad streek of luck, she told me she got locked out of her GF condo and had to call a locksmith the other day, she then crashed her car into a pole, we just had the front end fixed last month from when she hit it with my car. Sounds like she cant focus to good.

Last edited by wifedivorcing; 04/08/14 05:22 PM.

ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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My friend talk to the PA and she is going to ask her boss and get a good attorney to keep it from happening and seek damages.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I'm sitting in my house and no one is around, its real quite, I don't think I like this.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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WD,
It's hard, but use the solitude to find some peace and space in your mind. You need it.

I highly recommend running. The natural high from the endorphins will help you a great deal. Get some good music on your Smart Phone or listen to your favorite channel on Pandora.

How is your daughter doing?

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Thanks Just, I realy need a good nights sleep. I think I will go back to lifting weights, I need to put back on some muscle, I lost about 30lbs.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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My wife and I might do something tomorrow, she sent me a text letting me know she might not have to work tomorrow, we did talk earlier about doing something together. Don't worry, I will have my VAR on the whole time.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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WD,

I happen to agree with Melody in that something here is suspicious. In that regard, I guess I am out on a limb compared to most of the others here. I am not an MD or even a mental health professional, but have had personal experience with regard to a family member with regard to the possible need for an involuntary mental health commitment. It is very difficult UNLESS there is evidence the person is a serious risk to self or others. In three instances my W threatened suicide, police responded with rescue unit for transport to a hospital for evaluation and possible transport to a psych facility, but she was released in about 12 hours each time after evaluation. My concern and hearsay evidence from what she stated only initiated the rescue unit and not a longer stay. In two other instances, yes, she was held over for up to 72 hours, but she had actually taken an overdose of sleeping medication, and that was evident from the tests and when she was admitted and interviewed by the attending psychiatrist. Fortunately, in these situations she had her own psychiatrist, who she had been seeing for several years, and he could advise us of the risk, treatment and her rights. Her dr. was extremely conscious of an individual's rights. This all occurred 15-20 years ago. It's my understanding that


I am sorry for what happened to you. However, but you seem to be very Blaze' about it. I would be livid, and so would my wife and so would many others in terms of violation of the Bill of Rights! You seem to be blowing off finding an attorney to rep you and protect you from a future such violation in that you're waiting for a recommendation from others. All you have to friggin do is search for an attorney specializing in mental health involuntary commitment, interview a few that you select, decide on the best, and proceed. You also avoid contacting DR Harley directly for advice and counsel. All you are doing on your story here is relaying the contents of the numerous texts and calls from your WW.

So, sorry to say, I doubt if anyone could possibly be involuntarily committed by a registered psychiatrist for that long of a mental health evaluation (i.e., five days) unless that person posed a threat to others or self. I do not thing the police would believe your WW or your ExW unless there was strong history or evidence.

I wish you good luck and a few prayers,

Tom














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Originally Posted by Tom2010
WD,

I happen to agree with Melody in that something here is suspicious. In that regard, I guess I am out on a limb compared to most of the others here. I am not an MD or even a mental health professional, but have had personal experience with regard to a family member with regard to the possible need for an involuntary mental health commitment. It is very difficult UNLESS there is evidence the person is a serious risk to self or others. In three instances my W threatened suicide, police responded with rescue unit for transport to a hospital for evaluation and possible transport to a psych facility, but she was released in about 12 hours each time after evaluation. My concern and hearsay evidence from what she stated only initiated the rescue unit and not a longer stay. In two other instances, yes, she was held over for up to 72 hours, but she had actually taken an overdose of sleeping medication, and that was evident from the tests and when she was admitted and interviewed by the attending psychiatrist. Fortunately, in these situations she had her own psychiatrist, who she had been seeing for several years, and he could advise us of the risk, treatment and her rights. Her dr. was extremely conscious of an individual's rights. This all occurred 15-20 years ago. It's my understanding that


I am sorry for what happened to you. However, but you seem to be very Blaze' about it. I would be livid, and so would my wife and so would many others in terms of violation of the Bill of Rights! You seem to be blowing off finding an attorney to rep you and protect you from a future such violation in that you're waiting for a recommendation from others. All you have to friggin do is search for an attorney specializing in mental health involuntary commitment, interview a few that you select, decide on the best, and proceed. You also avoid contacting DR Harley directly for advice and counsel. All you are doing on your story here is relaying the contents of the numerous texts and calls from your WW.

So, sorry to say, I doubt if anyone could possibly be involuntarily committed by a registered psychiatrist for that long of a mental health evaluation (i.e., five days) unless that person posed a threat to others or self. I do not thing the police would believe your WW or your ExW unless there was strong history or evidence.

I wish you good luck and a few prayers,

Tom

I have no previous mental health issues in my history, I never said I wanted to hurt myself or others. I am extremeley pissed off that my civil rights have been violated. I will not be blamed or insulted by anyone on this message board and I'm sorry you find it hard to believe they held me that long. The first 30 hours didn't even count toward the 72 hours. It started once I was admitted to the inmpatient hospital. I have been researching for attorneys and yes I have friends who know other attorneys that I can trust. As for Dr. Harley, the email has been sent. I understand it sounds like and extreme case. It was the most horrible thing I went through and for someone here on the message board to find it suspicious, I understand, Just because I'm not screaming and yelling doesn't mean I'm not mad about it and Yes I will be the one who will prevail from this.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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WD has shown he is cool under pressure from his WW. Why not believe he could be cool handling the mental health abuse as well?



Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
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Tom,
We are all wondering why this happened to WD. But having followed this thread since its inception, there is no reason to believe that WD is leaving something out of his story.

He is going through an ordeal. Let's support him.

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I can only tell you that for whatever reason this whole thing began on 2/13/2014 with my wife filing for divorce, I have beengoing to church and praying daily, I have know idea why I have become so calm. The only explenation is God has been carrying me through this. I sit her myself sometimes in disbelief myself. I will not tolerate anyone thinking I am leaving anything out.

In my department I can tell you there have been several murder sucide occurence. I know the last one was done in a police parking lot, the officer killed his wife and thn himself. He was a well known officer. It still doesn't make it right to violate my civil rights 4th ammendement to illegal search and seizure. Which I was seizued by a mere alligation that in fact is a lie. This is unreal in the USA. Believe you me this is not the end of it.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
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WD,

Well am sorry if you feel insulted, it was not meant to be that, it was questioning your reactions AND actions.

ItCan: "being cool" is not a very good answer. This guy is in a very serious situation He now is seeking to arrange to date set up a date with his wife, the very person who had a hand in having him incarcerated.

Jedi and several others have recommended that he obtain legal counsel and cut the IC and consult directly with Dr. Harley ASAP. I would even go farther in advising him in Plan B with his WW. As to the first two: 'email sent' (whatever that would be) and still searching.

Tom

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I am a highley decorated Police Officer, I have a Life saving award, I saved a crackhead from a burning building, I ran into the building and was overcome by smoke, I eventually exited the building kicked out a basement window and pulled him out. I have a chiefs unit award, 9 accomidations for catching various criminals ranging from Murder,Robberry, Home Invasion and several more, I have several other awards, and you think I'm going to allow anyone on this message board think I'm leaving anything out or something just doesnt seem right. You're right how about the fact my ex-wife is just that evil, thats right she is a very evil person and this is her MO, plain and simple. My heart is big as the sun and I just went to Hell and back. I'm sorry I'm remaining calm. If I would of flipped my lid inside there I wouldn't be typing this right now. I wold still be there drooling like a fricken zombie all doped up!!!!!!


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I can tell you this, I seen my wifes reaction to this, yes she had a hand in, your right. I was there when she seen me in this horrible place. I seen the fear in her eyes, when she seen the people walking around like zombies. I know my wife played a hand in it. Did anyone ever think that this was the breaking point for my wife, this is what it might of had to happen for her to see what her affair has caused. I know right now she isnt there, but did anyone just think that mabe this was something that had to happen for her to come out of this fog. I could be totally wrong, yes I could be. I was there when I seen her sobbing look at my conditions and you know what, by the grace of GOD he held me up high. I would go to bed at night and pray crying to God asking him why am I here, How does this play a role in this. I have no answer. I lived this nightmare, I am extremeley pissed about it. Since I have turned my life to God I can't explain a lot of things. I havent even had a desire to drink.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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