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Originally Posted by indiegirl
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Glad I didn't answer, I got a text "wake up you have a busy day of stalkiing and harassing". Wow is all I can say. I'm watching her now, it looks like she went to OM house. Wow I guess these two don't care, or they want to see if I react, like someone is going to call me.


She tried Miss Nice Girl, now it's can she get you to explode or do something stupid.

I'd just take myself off and do something good for me. Plan A involves self care and since she's going for a reaction, let her twist in the wind.

What kind of self care can you do today? Can you lift weights, run, do something physical? Treat yourself today. And yes, since all she wants to do is verbally abuse you, let her twist in the wind for today. Don't answer abusive texts or answer her calls until she calms down.

AM


BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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How long was she at OM's?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
When I watched her she drove around his subdivison to make sure she wasn't being followed.
Great! She has no idea about the GPS.

Today is your last day off, correct? Indie and armymama make a great suggestion, can you go and do something for yourself today?

Can you turn your phone off so that you won't be tempted to look at the texts?


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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
When I watched her she drove around his subdivison to make sure she wasn't being followed.

That is hilarious!!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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No one would blame you for totally backing away from her right now.

You know she is sleeping with him and playing you. You are completely within your rights to go straight to Plan B or bail on her all together.

No way I would even talk to her at all unless she committed to ending contact with that POS. But hey, that's just me.

She looks completely psycho. Sleeping with him then harassing you. What the heck do you see in her at this point?

Gross.


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OMG! she leaves me a voice mail it says this " Num 1 you are very unclear on your accusations, num 2, I never forward anything to the sgt. at medical section as of yet, because I'm not an A-hole like you, num 3 the house will be going up for sale at the beginning of next week, so I have this weekend to get it cleaned up and I will be over there this weekend cleaning it up as well. so there you go there is some information for you, you might want to find yourself a place to live.

Number 1 is exactly what she said, I know it doesn't make any sense.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Just, that was awesome! I see they didn't find the GPS, she just left other mans house and now she is blowing up my phone. I feel like pulling away again, I really don't want to hear all this right now.

she text me" I have a few things i need to discuss with you can you please give me call me back".

Didn't she blow my phone up on monday and I believe I got this same text before.

She is trying to figure out HOW you know what you know.

After D-day, my H and his OW poured over each family's phone bills. I had figured out that H was in an affair by the phone bill. I did a reverse look-up on the number and then called OW's husband at home. They then stopped using their personal phones and used their work phones and meeting in person at work.

Sidenote: I used to love the movie "Doctor Zhivago". It has beautiful scenery and music. But, it basically is an affair movie and I don't like or watch it anymore. People not effected by affairs really don't notice these things. A few months post D-day, H and I were on a cruise and the comedian had many jokes about cheating. All around us people were laughing, but there was nothing funny to either H or me.


AM


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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Indie, I'm not going to explode or do something stupid, I've gone through so much, the crap she spews just rolls right off me.

Oh I know that - you have gone into this like a duck onto water. However she doesn't have the mental penetration to see you are unshakeable. All waywards try the exact same tricks regardless. It's like evil is pre-programmed.

Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
When I watched her she drove around his subdivison to make sure she wasn't being followed.


This is kind of funny. She has no idea about the GPS clearly. It's also clearly stressing on her.

I'd just turn your phone off and take care of yourself today.

Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I'm glad I found MB, I will take Dr. Harley up on his offer, telling me to have my wife call him, but I don't think my wife is ready to talk to him.


I think Dr H has a very good sense of what stage your wife is at right now. He talked about her empathy etc like he knew her. I don't think he'd be able to counsel her or anything like that because she is still in the A and isn't ready. However I think he sees a chink in her armour and an opportunity to maybe support your Plan A.

I think she would call him as a way of finding out where your plans and ideas are coming from. That's why she wanted to talk to your IC. Dr H would know this and be prepared for it.



What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
How long was she at OM's?

30 to 40 mins, she sent me a text that she will report my reliable source to his dept. My old partner works in that city he lives, he knows about my situation, however he isnt doing any intel for me, he doesn't even know where OM lives. I'm going to give him a heads up so he can tell his boss, not to worry, they have a tight nit dept. they will think she is crazy. I'm sure she won't say anything she is just blowing smoke.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
OMG! she leaves me a voice mail it says this " Num 1 you are very unclear on your accusations, num 2, I never forward anything to the sgt. at medical section as of yet, because I'm not an A-hole like you, num 3 the house will be going up for sale at the beginning of next week, so I have this weekend to get it cleaned up and I will be over there this weekend cleaning it up as well. so there you go there is some information for you, you might want to find yourself a place to live.

Number 1 is exactly what she said, I know it doesn't make any sense.

How can she put the house on the market without your signature?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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You probably eventually will feel pressured to respond, feeling that you are just making her angrier by ignoring her messages.

Try to resist.

Ask the vets when it would be appropriate to reply and try to listen to their time frame.

I suggest the reply be discussed here first, just to ensure no passive aggressive tone creates any Love Busters beyond the affair exposure.

Sweetie,

I felt we were so close and loving the other day, so for me to hear that you spent the night with your affair partner while i was falsely being hospitalized against my will has hurt me more than words can convey. I need time away from having your affair continue to flaunted in my face. I know that our marriage could heal, but not while your affair is being put on public display. Please give me time to heal from this latest information revealed to me. Oh, i was so looking forward to spending a fun and relaxing day with you again and feel you felt the same way. That can happen when you end your affair and never have contact with that person again.

xoxoxo
WD

LTL

P.S.
Divorce actions can take a much longer time than the minimum time frame. You are still in a marathon.


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Well, you already know this, but I wouldn't mention today that you knew her whereabouts. Feed that info to her in time-delayed chunks.

Poor thing can't even conduct her affair in secrecy. What's the world coming to?

Turn off your phone for awhile and go do something. Do you have a gym membership?

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WD

You wrote, I don't know how she ever thought that she could bring him to light, how?, she told everyone he was just a friend. You get divorce and then a month later high everyone this OM

Actually this happens all the time, everyone knows the new couple started as an affair but no one says anything, so the affair partners can deceive themselves. By exposing you've killed that self-deception.

Be sure to use the word ADULTERY when you refer to her affair.

God Bless
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
OMG! she leaves me a voice mail it says this " Num 1 you are very unclear on your accusations, num 2, I never forward anything to the sgt. at medical section as of yet, because I'm not an A-hole like you, num 3 the house will be going up for sale at the beginning of next week, so I have this weekend to get it cleaned up and I will be over there this weekend cleaning it up as well. so there you go there is some information for you, you might want to find yourself a place to live.

Number 1 is exactly what she said, I know it doesn't make any sense.

How can she put the house on the market without your signature?

I know the house is in her name, however it is a marrietal assest, so I do believe she would need my signature no matter what. When we bought this house I did sign something because we were married. I just think she is talking nonsense.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by Justthe3ofus
Well, you already know this, but I wouldn't mention today that you knew her whereabouts. Feed that info to her in time-delayed chunks.

Agree with this. Time delayed feedback takes the focus off a GPS. And I think she is baiting you this morning to see if you know if she is there. If you wait until the end of the day, maybe, to say something it would throw them off.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
You probably eventually will feel pressured to respond, feeling that you are just making her angrier by ignoring her messages.

Try to resist.

Ask the vets when it would be appropriate to reply and try to listen to their time frame.

I suggest the reply be discussed here first, just to ensure no passive aggressive tone creates any Love Busters beyond the affair exposure.

Sweetie,

I felt we were so close and loving the other day, so for me to hear that you spent the night with your affair partner while i was falsely being hospitalized against my will has hurt me more than words can convey. I need time away from having your affair continue to flaunted in my face. I know that our marriage could heal, but not while your affair is being put on public display. Please give me time to heal from this latest information revealed to me. Oh, i was so looking forward to spending a fun and relaxing day with you again and feel you felt the same way. That can happen when you end your affair and never have contact with that person again.

xoxoxo
WD

LTL

P.S.
Divorce actions can take a much longer time than the minimum time frame. You are still in a marathon.

LTL, that is a good text I could send her. I like how you put it, what do you vets think, or should I just ignore her.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
OMG! she leaves me a voice mail it says this " Num 1 you are very unclear on your accusations, num 2, I never forward anything to the sgt. at medical section as of yet, because I'm not an A-hole like you, num 3 the house will be going up for sale at the beginning of next week, so I have this weekend to get it cleaned up and I will be over there this weekend cleaning it up as well. so there you go there is some information for you, you might want to find yourself a place to live.

Number 1 is exactly what she said, I know it doesn't make any sense.
She is trying to force your hand to figure out how you are getting your info, and #2 she is trying to push any button she can think of that will get a reaction out of you so that you will show your hand.

Your wife has cracks all over her armor at this point. It's so obvious. NOTHING about this has gone as her fantasy-brain told her that it would. Meanwhile, YOU turn off your phone for at least a little while so that you won't be tempted to see the spew. Even if you want to set a timer for 45 minutes, that will help.

Take a break so that you will have the energy needed to keep yourself thinking logically. You are doing awesome.


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THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders.
We never knew that it could be this good! smile
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
OMG! she leaves me a voice mail it says this " Num 1 you are very unclear on your accusations, num 2, I never forward anything to the sgt. at medical section as of yet, because I'm not an A-hole like you, num 3 the house will be going up for sale at the beginning of next week, so I have this weekend to get it cleaned up and I will be over there this weekend cleaning it up as well. so there you go there is some information for you, you might want to find yourself a place to live.

Number 1 is exactly what she said, I know it doesn't make any sense.


Sounds like cheating on her husband isn't giving her the warm fuzzies any more. She's going to get a shock if she tries to illegally sell the house under you. Total nonsense.

This stuff is gold for the Craziest Stuff thread, though.

I quite like the text about needing space, but I would make sure to turn your phone off and take care of YOU after sending it. I know the adrenaline is pumping but you may be doing this a while and need to take breaks.

Last edited by indiegirl; 04/11/14 07:26 AM.

What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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You are correct: as a spouse whose name isn't on the deed you would still have to sign any papers regarding the selling or refinancing of the house.

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I won't let her know I knew she was there today. I understand time delay, actually I get my daughter this weekend, so I will be hanging with her.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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