I think you have a good plan WD you have to protect yourself you have probably seen things like this go into a bad direction and like Barbie says there are 3 of them willing to sell you out for their evilness. Who knows how crazy this could get, Can the OM drop the PPO or does it go through the system now?
I agree with the hospitalization thing that is not right that could have happened to you so easily��
Maybe it is time to throw her to the wolves and let her figure it out on her own, doesn't mean that someday she won't get what she has done��..
Hell some couples get back together after a divorce��..
She is a handful that is for sure she is a narcissist that has no understanding of family

The OM can drop the PPO if he wants, I doubt he will. I think the hardest thing to digest is how strong of a conviction she had about family values, I have a big family and she loved it, how everyone got a long even during difunctional times. We spent more time with my family because she avoided hers. It is amazing to see someone tell you that they are praying to god for a divorce. mind boggling!!! I see she is at church right now, I truly believe guilt is eating at her soul. I know she is like a viper right now. I havent called her today, I will let her make contact with me. The funny thing as time went on yesterday she began to let her armor down, we were together as a family, talking at the dinner table, it may be the last time we ever do that as a family again. I say her armor was down, because she allowed me to touch her by stroking her ear and cheek. Even when she was mad, I did the old you have an eye lash on your cheek hold still let me get it, she allowed me. I truly believe this plan A has put me in a good light with her, even though she is still in the fog. All I can do is see what happens. I really don't think SS has a clue about the truth.

maybe I should have said the alien you see in front of you has no understanding of family.
It's a good thing she is at church it always reminds of what is right even when we aren't doing right.
I wouldn't read to much in letting the armour down it is very hard to stay angry all the time she was probably just taking a break. My heart bleeds for her son I think what she is doing to him is unacceptable, he thinks the way he does because of what she has told him��.it is unfair he is a young man that deserves the whole truth��.he isn't stupid.
let her make the next move you just worry about the ppo and the hospitalization suit.
Maybe her believing you have finally given up is a good thing�..
Let that idiot fill all her needs he won't want to�.you said yourself she has a huge need for admiration and deeds done, he will tire of all that real quick, but not until you allow him to do that alone����.
plan A her when she is civil if she isn't hang up she will soon learn it doesn't work with you anymore

Will you be seeking the aide of an attorney for your PPO hearing?

Will your Union supply you with aggressive legal representation?

Is the POSOM represented by an attorney? You can find out by searching the county clerks court records.

What is your personal experience in dealing with PPO orders before a judge?

Aside from aggressively defending yourself against these outrageous claims, you still need to be commended for your stellar person to person contact with your Wife yesterday.

Is there a possible chance that you could follow up on that vacation discussion that you had with her? That very well could be viewed a pursuing too much, yet if she truly is open to that idea, it "May" be worth investigating further. It would depend greatly on how the topic is approached and the emotional atmosphere during the previous time period.

I think right now, you need to avoid any discussions with her totally, because most of them become an aggravated conflict, with two opposing viewpoints being debated.

Therefore, any association with you currently only reminds her of conflict.

Back off, with only sporadic minor non-tenuous topics of discussion.

If the conversation devolves into the affair or pending divorce or home sale, just state that your energy needs to be focused on defending against the false charges and false allegations of harm to yourself or others which had you involuntarily committed to the hospital for those 5 days.

See if you can record any conversation with her that she acknowledges that you did NOT ever make any such statements like that to her or about her or the POSOM.

What day is your court hearing?

Are you back to work full time as of this upcoming Monday;

LTL

I have an appointment with an attorney for the hospitilzation.

I have to get a copy of the Police report from whenmy ex called police stating I was going to harm myself. I'm also going to get a copy of the 911 recording of the call.

My union has told me it is civil. I will be calling them again tomorrow letting tem know about PPO,I do know its not a big deal and there is no discipline.

I have checked circuit court online records, no PPO listed yet. I get to have a hearing set up. My lawyer will do that tomorrow.

I have actually enforced many ppo.

I will feel around about the vacatio thing.

I really would love to talk to SS

I don't understand how telling the truth gets one in trouble, POSOM is defiently coward. I have been threatened by real criminals and have never felt I needed a PPO. itamazes me on how these judges are. She is a female judge, maybe she was a BS, it would help.

I haven't heard anything from her today. I need the break, Maybe if I do it for a few days of no contact, she might get curious. who knows, maybe I should just move on.

Its got to suck living at your GF house, Here and the GF sleep in the same bed, but when you can go move in with OM because you will be a seen as a Liar. It still blows my mind when she admits the affair and then says she never did anything. I'LL spend the night at a female friends house just because were friends. Unreal.

you can't apply logic to a wayward you will drive yourself crazy
it took my husband 4 months to let go of his fantasy, our financials and division of property had already happened he even was paying me alimony��..it isn't over till it is

I know there is no logic at this time with her. We haven't spoke or text today, I'm just laying low, I'll wait for her to contact me. She did go to church so hopefully she got a little of what the right thing is to do. I can only pray at this time, I will continue to pray for this family of mine. I have to allow my faith to stay strong and continue with my fight.

Does she go to the church that OM goes to?

I am not saying to give up hope, or give up MB, I just think you need to try and step back and look at your strategy as a police officer is trained to.

Do not retaliate to the OM personally. There was something about " you were slapped, punch back.." type sentiment. Forget him. Concentrate on your plan, your kid, your professional integrity ..then breaking up the A for now.

I wish you well. Am rooting for you and your family.

I don't know for sure what church she went to the couple times she went. Today she went to the church we got married in.

She did call me, I answered the second time she called, she called to see whay me and my daughter were doing, She told me she went to church and I told that great, she told me she was coming back from tutoring with SS, I asked how it went and she said good, I told her if she needed help with money for tutoring or clothes for him I would love to help, she said I have to get use to it on my own. She then said she would be coming by to use computer because SS has a paper that needs to be typed. I would believe her GF has that stuff. I said ok. She then went into how it sucks that she has live somewhere else, I told her I wanted her to come home, she said no as long as I am living there. I told her I would love to see SS on the go-kart and I hope he would lighten up a bit, she said its not about that its you he doesn't want to be by. I simply said we can work on that and she said I don'tthink it can be. She then said well I can't speak for him. I said we can rebuild our marriage, she said there was no we. She then started about how she will be spending more money because I just won't cooperate with the house, sounds like she realizes she needs me to sign off to sell it. I will have to be ordered by the court and that is questionable. She then went into that and I simply said we discussed that and i tried to change subject and she just continued to talk, she then just hung up.

She tried calling me back a few times, but I got busy making dinner and being outside. I really don't have the energy to even listen right now. I keep on smiling though.

I'm going to take care of the current issue which is PPO and what the ex has done. I will continue to plan A my WW. My stradgey as a police officer would out smart the criminal, If I was a responding to a call with infidelity were a spouse is snooping and gathering information, I would tell the Wayward spouse, there is no privacy in marriage and if you're not doing wrong then be transparent and if you wont then your not being honest and you spouse has every right to find out what you are doing. I have actually had to tell someone this. I also told them if saving the marriage your goal then so be it, and yes you will face some obstacles along with nonsense like I did.

The reason she can't bring him to your house for extended time may be that she knows he will learn she is lying.

Once he knows, she then has less reason to keep him away.

I think the sooner you can get the truth out to him,the better. She will of course flip out. Best to rip that band aide off now while she's pissed most of the time anyways.

Does he have a phone?

He does have a phone, I don't think he will answer me. What did she tell this kid, I mean he won't even look at me, she might of even told his dad that I'm crazy. She thinks she can protect him forever. One of her reasons she sent him to private school was of the possible drug exposure and kids bullying. I would of taught boy how to do an uppercut for that, but no she will baby him forever. My father is one of the most easiest laid back guys in the world and he observed the way my wife treated him like he was a baby and non-stop protection for him. If we had a disagrement she would always intervine and speak for him. He can't fight his own battle.

Vets,

What do you think of WD exposing to SS by texts?

DearvSS,
I love you and your mother and I want to save our family.
I wll never do anything to harm either of you.

Dear SS,
I know you must wonder what is going on.
I will answer any question you may want to ask me truthfully.

Dear SS
Do you want to know what is happening to your family?
I will tell you the truth , especially the parts about my own mistakes.

Dear SS,
May I call you please?

I don't believe the boy will believe him. It will just infuriate him.

I defer to Melodis experience re the texts.

Possibly the one line that you love Ss and his mother and won't harm them.

ICGB, your guess is as good as mine. I agree with you that it would be great if the boy knew the truth. But I do know how teenage boys are and they tend to be very protective of their mothers against outsiders. Since WD is the step dad that makes him the interloper by default. And that makes WD is an automatic enemy. I wish it could work to align with the son, but I am just doubtful it would work.