You like that Mel, I don't care what he thinks. That's why my car will.be taking all of the garage. So hers on the outside, maybe he will do a drive by. Wouldn't that be something.

Listen, if she can lie to her husband, she can lie to the OM about a romantic vacation to Florida!

I know that's for sure. I'm working on getting her to go.

Any words of wisdom from you vets, before WW comes to the house.

I have to some how convince her to go to Florida.

My advice. Tell her, "I already bought the tickets. Pack your things." Have some pictures of the resort/hotel/beaches printed out on the table. Take out some sun block, sun glasses, wine, wine glasses, and printed airline tickets (fake ones) and put them out on the table also. Play margaritaville and some other nice get-away songs such as this:



She wants to go, man.

Apparently she is irritated that I booked the trip. The OM just called her phone.

Irritated because she wants to go...

trouble in paradise, just stick to your plan to have a nice evening.
maybe she lied to him and he is watching her, just stay calm and happy that she is there.
maybe she ran florida by him or told him and he is angry she is considering it.

Then go anyways. Didn't you say you would take your own kid there if she wouldn't go?

And send her photos from there saying how relaxing it is and hope she can make it next time.

Remember, you wanted her to go as your 1st choice, but you did have an alternative, unless you were bluffing about that.

LTL

Boy she is trying to bait me in the argument. OM called her phone. I should of answered it. She was pissed I said I booked it. And she wanted to see the conformation number. She knows. I didn't book it and when on saying how I have become a liar. I told her I just wanted you to.go.and have some stress relief fun. She then wanted to know what I know. She started to have a melt down. Saying how she doesn't feel.comfortable here. She then went on to say I'm unstable and everyone is worried about her. I asked how am I unstable. She said you don't angry and you just go on like nothing is going on. She complained because I looked good in my new clothes and I should go pick up a chic. I just hold my ground. I did tell her I loved her and SS...She continued to have melt down. She said she wish she were dead. She said I'm controlling her by not giving about house. She said she filed a motion. Not the way I thought the night would go. I didn't argue. I listened and told her I love her.

Just let it play out, you have her confused because you are suppose to be mad and the marriage is suppose to be over.
If she filed a motion then you will deal with it at the time, when you have a court order. nothing until then.
the OM is pushing an directing her moves maybe she doesn't see that control.
Your not just going to let him take her so stay loving and calm, is she still staying the night?
Does the OM know where she is?
Make her a tea, or give her a glass of wine��..
ask her if she would like a shoulder rub.
what did she mean by what you know about where she goes?

LOL he is probably calling her during his church service. What a lowlife scum

Do what works. She seems to reposnd to back rubs, offer a massage and a movie

"I'm working on being a better man. It isn't easy, but I know getting angry only makes things worse."

It almost sounds like she thinks your self control means you don't care. You may want to tell her your heart is breaking. Just don't be too melodramatic about it. Part of plan A includes telling your wayward how their actions are hurting you It is a good thing for her to see glimpses of you pain.

She'll be approaching you again soon. All tonight's drama shows she is more and more conflicted.

Yes, you need to tell her that her affair is the most painful experience you've ever experienced.

I think she is very upset because you are confusing her by not fighting with her. If you would fight with her, you would make it so much easier for her to leave. But you are confusing her by ruining the narration she is running in her head. By being nice to her, she can no longer justify her affair.

Just keep it up. As her defenses come down and her narration dissipates, she will draw to you more and more.

Stay analytical. You are doing a great job.

Focus on how to make an emotional, personal, affectionate connection.

WOW!!! Is all I can tell say, I know the night started off a little rough with the FL trip. I kept changing the subject and she would stop baiting when I did this, I kept my cool and boy she was melting down crying. She told me at least 4 times she was leaving and going back to GF. I simply said ok, if thats what you want to do.

During this storm, I remained calm, she went into how every fears for her safety, because I'm Crazy etc... I asked do you think I'm crazy, she said your demeanor is different not normal. This is because the lord jesus christ has given me this ability to remain calm. Thats what I thought in my mind. I attempted to hug her and she refused, so I let it be.

Now mind you I had the radio on and we were listen to Bob Seger, Turn The Page, and she said do you like this song, I said its my favorite song, She said mine too. Things began to calm down, we just started to talk about regular stuff. We ended up in bed about 11:30 which she normaly goes to bed earlier. We talked and she showed me a website about family focus on marriage etc...there is a movie coming out its a documentary on how traditional marriages are falling away and then others are saying marriage is a vow for life. It seemed very interesting.

The new biggest thing that has changed is she is allowing me to kiss her again. When we finally turned the light off she rolled over asking me to hold her, I asked her to roll back towards me and she did. I kissed her and I mean I kissed her, she began kissing me back, this kissing went on for a bout 5 minutes, she even said I havent kissed you in a long time. Then she intiatied SF, and let me tell you this was totaly different than other SF, there was no kissing, this one was passionate and very meaningful, she was even saying how amazing it was. When it was all said and done she was lying there just in an awwww. She said where has this been. We kissed and I told her I love you, and she said I love you too. I held her for a while. In the middle of the night she asked me to hold her, so I did.

We got up this morning, I made coffee and then we took a shower together, I wanted to continue with affection and conversation. I fixed her a cup of coffee while she was doing her makeup and stuff. We actually talked I asked her about her opinion on the Wyoming situation with the stand off over the land, she was unaware and I brought her up to speed. She gave me opinion after that. Our conversation even picked up from last night about when we were kids and how we played etc...We talked about when we first met, we talked about going on a real vacation, she still wasn't cool about the FL deal, I did tell her I want to do these spure of the moment get aways together in our marriage. We talked about taking Tango lessons, I believe this is going to happen, I'm going to get the prices. She was asking if I still liked living here and all the work that comes with a house. I did say yes but if we need to move a little closer to town thats ok too. She showed me some houses and we talked about them. We talked about a baby etc...I mean alot of conversation.

I was going to make her breakfast however she said she was good and her stomach was upset. She said she slept great. We were brushing our teeth together and we had a really long eye contact and she began hugging me, she then said I Miss You. I said I miss you too. I asked her to go out for dinner tonight and maybe go out and do something, being good friday asking if she wanted to go to church together. she said sure I will see. I gave her a hug and kissed her, I told her, I love you and she said I love you too.

One thing is she has been doing a lot of crying, she did it last night this morning. I asked her if she is ok and she said she doesn't know why she is crying.. I just hugged her when she cried.

I did tell her this morning that I have been working on being a better man and its not easy, I then said I know getting angry isn't going to make things better. She said well sometimes you have to get angry to get it out etc...I just listened.

I talked about SS and she said he hates me and he doesn't want to come home. I simply said we can work on our relationship and it can be better.

This morning we were talking about her mom and I said I miss her and she said she's mad at you, of course for exposing this affair, she then said You still think it was right for letting everyone know our business. I stayed mute. She knows how I feel...I did tell her I would like to talk to her mom and she said why so you can tell her I had an affair. I just didnt say anything. I did change the subject.

She left to go to work and about 5 mins later she called me telling me about all the dead deer on the side of the road. She then went on to say how confused she is and doesn't know what she wants etc...She said the one thing your focused on is no longer an issue and she said she has other concerns and I won't talk about them. I said I have concerns about our marriage also and I want us to work together to make sure we never have to chose anything like this again...She then said she didn't take her medicine, one missed does causes her to feel sick. I simply said your late for work and GF lives 1 minute away go grab one and take it. So she did. She said she would talk to me later.

I can tell you this she is all over the place, however yesterday and today she showed me affection and gave me some love deposits. I'm sure I gave her some LB deposits.

Last night I did tell her with a good plan we can acomplish anything, she said the plan you wont tell me about. I simply said when I have a committment from you then I will share the plan with you.

Last night she mentioned how I'm controling her. I tired of hearing this. I just listened to her and I think my facial expressions said it all as if how can I control you. I know what it is, its because I just didn't roll over and given in to all your demands. I'm sure OM is controlling , hurry up sell, house get divorced asap etc...

I wonder how many times he called last night. I walked in the other room and I noticed her phone screen was on as if she did something to the phone. I think she truned the ringer off and she then puts the phone screen down.

How did things pan out last night?

Did she stay overnight as she originally requested to do?

Will you still follow through with taking that short vacation even if she does not go with?

LTL