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Has your husband filed for divorce?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Has your husband filed for divorce? not yet. He's not communicating with at all.
Me: BW, 36; WH: 37
Married 14 years
DD: 4yr, DS: 8 month
DD: 11/24/2013
Plan A (not properly done) since DD. Exposure to OW's friend and work on 03/25/2014. Lots of LBs.
Plan B (w/ MIL lives w/ me): started 4/4/2014. Exposed WH to most of our friends in early 05/2014.
Plan A before moving to CA as suggested by Dr Harley started 6/8/14.
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Mel, shall i email about the AOA?
Me: BW, 36; WH: 37
Married 14 years
DD: 4yr, DS: 8 month
DD: 11/24/2013
Plan A (not properly done) since DD. Exposure to OW's friend and work on 03/25/2014. Lots of LBs.
Plan B (w/ MIL lives w/ me): started 4/4/2014. Exposed WH to most of our friends in early 05/2014.
Plan A before moving to CA as suggested by Dr Harley started 6/8/14.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Has your husband filed for divorce? not yet. He's not communicating with at all. He is just flapping his gums about the "quickie divorce" just as I suspected. I would get moved out of there and expose him at work. How far are you from moving?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Mel, shall i email about the AOA? No, I would focus ALL of your attention on a) staying pitch dark in a Plan B and b) getting the hell out of there as fast as you can.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He is just flapping his gums about the "quickie divorce" just as I suspected. I would get moved out of there and expose him at work.
How far are you from moving? Well, he agreed previously not to talk about divorce by 5/24/14, 6month from D-day. Exposing him at work very likely will lead to loss of job, and i could NOT afford to raising two kids just on my salary in CA, let alone, i haven't found a job yet. I'm still looking for a job, very hard. checking job websites everyday, networking too.
Last edited by xpbrain1; 04/28/14 08:42 PM.
Me: BW, 36; WH: 37
Married 14 years
DD: 4yr, DS: 8 month
DD: 11/24/2013
Plan A (not properly done) since DD. Exposure to OW's friend and work on 03/25/2014. Lots of LBs.
Plan B (w/ MIL lives w/ me): started 4/4/2014. Exposed WH to most of our friends in early 05/2014.
Plan A before moving to CA as suggested by Dr Harley started 6/8/14.
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 227
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Mel, shall i email about the AOA? No, I would focus ALL of your attention on a) staying pitch dark in a Plan B and b) getting the hell out of there as fast as you can. Not even to bust the affair from OW's side? I thought that should always remain a top priority.
Me: BW, 36; WH: 37
Married 14 years
DD: 4yr, DS: 8 month
DD: 11/24/2013
Plan A (not properly done) since DD. Exposure to OW's friend and work on 03/25/2014. Lots of LBs.
Plan B (w/ MIL lives w/ me): started 4/4/2014. Exposed WH to most of our friends in early 05/2014.
Plan A before moving to CA as suggested by Dr Harley started 6/8/14.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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He is just flapping his gums about the "quickie divorce" just as I suspected. I would get moved out of there and expose him at work.
How far are you from moving? Well, he agreed previously not to talk about divorce by 5/24/14, 6month from D-day. Exposing him at work very likely will lead to loss of job, and i could NOT afford to raising two kids just on my salary in CA, let alone, i haven't found a job yet. I'm still looking for a job, very hard. checking job websites everyday, networking too. You do realize that he NEEDS to lose that job, right? He is unlikely to leave it on his own. I am glad you are looking HARD for a job. you have to get out of there.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Mel, shall i email about the AOA? No, I would focus ALL of your attention on a) staying pitch dark in a Plan B and b) getting the hell out of there as fast as you can. Not even to bust the affair from OW's side? I thought that should always remain a top priority. I think you have exhausted all opportunities other than finding her husband.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You do realize that he NEEDS to lose that job, right? He is unlikely to leave it on his own.
I am glad you are looking HARD for a job. you have to get out of there. but i thought if we recover, he might be willing to move. He tried about 2 years to get the current job, and it means a lot to him. if i expose the A at his workplace, for one thing, i'm not sure if they would fire him; and he would be sooo angry that he would just file in HI and I don't have a chance to leave with kids.
Me: BW, 36; WH: 37
Married 14 years
DD: 4yr, DS: 8 month
DD: 11/24/2013
Plan A (not properly done) since DD. Exposure to OW's friend and work on 03/25/2014. Lots of LBs.
Plan B (w/ MIL lives w/ me): started 4/4/2014. Exposed WH to most of our friends in early 05/2014.
Plan A before moving to CA as suggested by Dr Harley started 6/8/14.
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Posts: 227
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I think you have exhausted all opportunities other than finding her husband. would it be too desperate that I fly back and stalk her to her home to talk to OWH? Last Sat is my DD's birthday, and it kills me she told me it is no fun at that daddy is coming home. I definitely will try harder to find her husband.
Me: BW, 36; WH: 37
Married 14 years
DD: 4yr, DS: 8 month
DD: 11/24/2013
Plan A (not properly done) since DD. Exposure to OW's friend and work on 03/25/2014. Lots of LBs.
Plan B (w/ MIL lives w/ me): started 4/4/2014. Exposed WH to most of our friends in early 05/2014.
Plan A before moving to CA as suggested by Dr Harley started 6/8/14.
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Posts: 11,239
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I'm going to send another email to OW, cc her supervisors and friends. Please give me some advice. Shall i cc WH? WH is still adamant about divorce and not committing to M. Shall i wait till once i find out about OWH's contact info (i don't know when that will be though)? Shall I even have a trip back to China myself, and confront her?
These are the key points:
she'll be sued for Alienation of Affection.
She is on the cheaterville.com / shesahomewrecker.com all those websites.
Give her the msg that i'll never give them a quick and quiet divorce.
her continued adultery is ruining WH's life. She will cause WH lose his job, reputation and everything. Absolutely nothing good will ever result of her relationship which is based upon the deceit and hurt of others.
I'll tell my daughter and son she's the one break up my family. She will forever be my enemy, my daughter's, and my son's enemy. Enjoy the 1/3 of year spending time with them (shall i include this?)
MIL is strongly against the affair. She said with tears that if WH continues his A, she will just consider she doesn't have a son and no contact with him once she's back to her home in China.
All our friends know about the A, even the local ones will know if we get a divorce, including WH's colleagues -- . (So far I've exposed to MIL, SIL, WH's father passed away, 10 of WH's close friend, some are mutual friends of OW, many of my close friends, my relatives, OW's employer (managers, VPs),). Still trying to find out OWH and family. Excerpt from article : "In 2010, a New York Times article reported that since 2006, searches were directed at cheating husbands, corrupt government officials, pornography makers, unpatriotic citizens, journalists who encourage a moderate stance on Tibet and rich people trying to play the system." Link to article: http://www.thejournal.ie/explainer-what-is-a-human-flesh-search-engine-927645-Jun2013/
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[would it be too desperate that I fly back and stalk her to her home to talk to OWH? Can you go there and speak to her husband?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks Jedi. This would be like expose the A at major social network media, and requesting ppl help out finding out the OWH, instead of exposing to the friends and family on their FB page. i heard about a few cases of these flesh search engine, the ramifications would be everyone involved get exposed, even to a point what school the kids goes, their pics, every detail. I'm not sure that's worth it.
Me: BW, 36; WH: 37
Married 14 years
DD: 4yr, DS: 8 month
DD: 11/24/2013
Plan A (not properly done) since DD. Exposure to OW's friend and work on 03/25/2014. Lots of LBs.
Plan B (w/ MIL lives w/ me): started 4/4/2014. Exposed WH to most of our friends in early 05/2014.
Plan A before moving to CA as suggested by Dr Harley started 6/8/14.
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 227
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 227 |
[would it be too desperate that I fly back and stalk her to her home to talk to OWH? Can you go there and speak to her husband? Thanks, Mel. I only know where she works. that would involve some stalking, and no guarantee I will be able to speak to her H. I don't know if i shall bring sb with me for safety purpose. This could be one option if i'm desperate enough.
Me: BW, 36; WH: 37
Married 14 years
DD: 4yr, DS: 8 month
DD: 11/24/2013
Plan A (not properly done) since DD. Exposure to OW's friend and work on 03/25/2014. Lots of LBs.
Plan B (w/ MIL lives w/ me): started 4/4/2014. Exposed WH to most of our friends in early 05/2014.
Plan A before moving to CA as suggested by Dr Harley started 6/8/14.
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 227
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 227 |
Mel, shall i email about the AOA? No, I would focus ALL of your attention on a) staying pitch dark in a Plan B and b) getting the hell out of there as fast as you can. Mel, is it that based on your 10+ years experience here at MB forum, my WH is one of those kind of waywards that very difficult to kill the A, unless OW and himself have conflicts? It's more like those deeply fogged WW? and the kind of marriage with very low success rate to save. That's why you would ask me to focus on plan b to save myself instead?
Last edited by xpbrain1; 04/29/14 02:49 AM.
Me: BW, 36; WH: 37
Married 14 years
DD: 4yr, DS: 8 month
DD: 11/24/2013
Plan A (not properly done) since DD. Exposure to OW's friend and work on 03/25/2014. Lots of LBs.
Plan B (w/ MIL lives w/ me): started 4/4/2014. Exposed WH to most of our friends in early 05/2014.
Plan A before moving to CA as suggested by Dr Harley started 6/8/14.
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 227
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 227 |
Not even to bust the affair from OW's side? I thought that should always remain a top priority. I think you have exhausted all opportunities other than finding her husband. [/quote] I haven't done a nuclear exposure, quite some friends in CA don't know about it. I researched on other posts that AOA lawsuits are always recommended to intimidate the OW. I'm bit confused. So are these measures considered non-effective in my case, or are they considered love busters that I shall just avoid for now?
Me: BW, 36; WH: 37
Married 14 years
DD: 4yr, DS: 8 month
DD: 11/24/2013
Plan A (not properly done) since DD. Exposure to OW's friend and work on 03/25/2014. Lots of LBs.
Plan B (w/ MIL lives w/ me): started 4/4/2014. Exposed WH to most of our friends in early 05/2014.
Plan A before moving to CA as suggested by Dr Harley started 6/8/14.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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[
I haven't done a nuclear exposure, quite some friends in CA don't know about it. I researched on other posts that AOA lawsuits are always recommended to intimidate the OW. I'm bit confused. So are these measures considered non-effective in my case, or are they considered love busters that I shall just avoid for now? XPbrain, the OW is in China, though. How can you file an AOA lawsuit against a person in a foreign nation? I am also confused about your comment about exposure?? I thought the affair had been exposed?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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[
I haven't done a nuclear exposure, quite some friends in CA don't know about it. I researched on other posts that AOA lawsuits are always recommended to intimidate the OW. I'm bit confused. So are these measures considered non-effective in my case, or are they considered love busters that I shall just avoid for now? XPbrain, the OW is in China, though. How can you file an AOA lawsuit against a person in a foreign nation? I am also confused about your comment about exposure?? I thought the affair had been exposed? but my WH's plan is divorce me and marry her and relocate her here. he already applied citizenship and very firm on divorce. after she's here, i can file AOA, and make her life suffer. i did some level of exposure, but not the "every-body knows" exposure. esp anyone related to his work dosn't know. and my side of friends in ca don't know
Me: BW, 36; WH: 37
Married 14 years
DD: 4yr, DS: 8 month
DD: 11/24/2013
Plan A (not properly done) since DD. Exposure to OW's friend and work on 03/25/2014. Lots of LBs.
Plan B (w/ MIL lives w/ me): started 4/4/2014. Exposed WH to most of our friends in early 05/2014.
Plan A before moving to CA as suggested by Dr Harley started 6/8/14.
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You should expose it far and wide.
Is she still on Cheaterville? If so, send the link to all of your family and friends
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