Easiest recipe ever.


1 medium sized rump roast.
1 big jar of Pepperoncini's
1 Crock Pot

In the morning, throw the meat in the crockpot, pour the entire jar of Pepperoncini's (and juice) over the top of the meat and stew in the pot on high for an hour and then low (or medium) for 4 to 7 hours until it's just falling apart. I will occasionally open up the pot and ladle the juices over the top so it doesn't dry out and turn the meat a time or two. The meat should just become so tender and tear away (great for taste tests during the day). Some rump roasts are much better than others and this will make a big difference in texture. Either way...left overs get stored in the juices and get even spicier the next day for roast sandwiches (roast, cheeese and mayo).

Many states do not allow a divorce while the wife is pregnant so first look at what your state laws are. You should still be able to file but you may be in short term limbo until the child is born.

Most states also allow paternity to be challenged so that men are not stuck taking care of an OM's child if they do not want that so ask your attorney how that process works.

Sorry TD.

After you discuss your legal rights and obligations with your attorney, and IF you are now finally considering filing for Divorce, then realize you can still implement your Plan B and still file. Any legal actions you as the Plaintiff would also allow you to Withdraw or put the Divorce proceedings on hold.

While she is pregnant with OMC, you may gain a strategic upper hand in negotiations if your jurisdiction allows a D to be filed while she is pregnant.

Minimally, the paternity of that OMC could be determined at least, hopefully leaving you with no legal obligations for that child.

LTL

She's not out of the country.
She is out of state.

Here's another thing to consider in divorce: As Harley pointed out, social services can operate outside of the Divorce court.

I received no child support, but am about to file for it through Social services!

Something to keep in mind

My attorney told me that she will receive zero alimony or support. I filed for divorce in October 2012. Since she is living apart from me and committed adultery.

I can see her doing this eventually. However since I filed for divorce in 2012 and she is living with another man the military will fight that if it happens. Spoke with a JAG officer about this after I filed in 2012.

No...what I mean is that you may be able to tell her, during negotiations, No child support.

Then file for child support after divorce.

I see your point!

The divorce should move rapidly so long as you have your paper work in. Did you ask your attorney how long it will take to finalize?

Here is my Plan B letter. Your awesome editing skills will be greatly appreciated! I will contact my attorney in regards to the divorce speed. I am saddened but determined to survive my WW's affair. By being the best man I can be in all aspects of my life. I have not changed my email or contact information and planned to block her number and email from my address. Also, I received texts from MIL saying this:

"I love my grandson and you very much god bless"
"DS you are my little grandson and no one can change that."

Seems to me MIL found out about the pregnancy and has the mind frame that I will keep her from her grandson. I guess she is accepting of daughter's horrible choices. When I Plan B I also Plan B the in laws and WW's friends as well right?

Dear WS,

I love you! I know that you will always reside in my heart since I do have a great love for you after all we've gone through. You made me a father and a husband and I thank you for that but your actions have hurt me and DS deeply. If you come home in the next 30 days I'll help you through this pregnancy and help you place this child up for adoption in a home with both a mother and a father committed and willing to raise this child in love and peace.

Otherwise, I'm not willing to see you break another child's heart ever again and this is goodbye forever. I also ask for no contact, unless it's an emergency. It is very important to me that you respect my no contact request. This is my time to heal, you can reach my intermediary at this email address (email address here) for those emergency situations. My hopes are to someday bring our family back together. The process of getting us to that point is up to you. If your hopes are the same as mine it will show in your actions and commitment to your own personal recovery and healing.

May God bless your days and guide your ways!
All My Love,

TD

I don't know the answer to this.
The purpose of Plan B is to preserve the Love Bank balance and protect the emotional health of the betrayed spouse.

Since your Plan B letter differs from the template authored by Dr. Harley, I suggest you email him directly. Send him a copy of your Plan B letter and ask if he advises cutting off the wife friends and relatives also.

Also, the part about "no contact unless its an emergency" is too vague....because "emergencies" is a matter of perspective.

EDIT: I think that you are trying to wrap a Plan B letter and a No Contact letter (if she refuses) together...and I would keep it separate.
I would write the Plan B letter as detailed in the book with Mr. W suggestions (after first emailing Dr. Harley)...and then write the No Contact letter at a later date.

"If you come home in the next 30 days, I'll work with you towards restoring our marriage and I'll help you through your pregnancy and together we'll place this child up for adoption so he or she can have a home with both a mother and a father fully committed and willing to raise this child in love and peace."

Response from Dr. Harley he also edited my plan B:

Hi TD,

I think that you have run out of proactive options, and unless your wife is rejected by the other man, your marriage will probably not survive. My edits to your plan B letter are in red.

Dearest WS,

I love you more than you can ever know. But your affair has hurt me and DS deeply. I am willing to do what it takes to make your life with me as fulfilling as you could imagine. But I can�t do it as long as you have any contact with OM. And I can�t have any contact with you as long as your relationship with him exists.

If you end your relationship with the OM and return home to live with me, I'll help you through your pregnancy and help you place the child up for adoption in a home with both a mother and a father committed and willing to raise this child in love and peace. Otherwise, I will not have any further contact with you. It is very important to me that you respect my no contact request. You can reach my intermediary at this email address (email address here) for any emergency situations.

My hope is that our family can be reunited. But that is now up to you. If your hope is the same as mine we can end this nightmare together.

May God bless your days and guide your ways!
All My Love,

TD

When will you be sending it?

I plan on sending it today. I need the peace of mind, I tried contacting her multiple times thoroughout the month so she can speak with DS (at his behest) but she has never replied. Today DS told me he doesn't have a mother because WW cares more about OM than him. In order to help both of us heal I think a swift divorce and Plan B is the answer.

Sent Plan B letter. JK I sent you a copy of it, my Plan B starts today. From now on no thinking of the WW and anything related to her. I blocked MIL, WW and her friends from my phone and email. I will adjust if things get through, which I doubt. *Deep breath* now to enjoy my life.

The first few days will be easy but you probably are going to need to and benefit from finding a new habit to replace all this focus you've placing on saving your marriage. She's got 30 days. She's probably not going to call but for now you are in limbo....still married and waiting.

Got any ideas?

Meet up groups...maybe even start up a meet up group for divorced/divorcing dads in your area???

Divorce group at your or a local church?

Church recovery groups??

New hobby or exercise program?

Posting and becoming a leader in MB's fairly quiet divorce forum?

I forget how long it takes to establish a new habit...might be 6 weeks or something but keep yourself busy and try to go in several directions trying unique things. Idleness is your enemy.

There are details to look after like getting the divorce done so you can actually move on, recover and regroup, then in time, start DATING many girls in an appropriate manner to learn more about what you like and want in a future wife (calibrating your picker in the process and avoiding the tendency of recently divorced men to think they are reclaiming their confidence and self-worth by picking up and bedding a bunch of women). You are a completely single parent of a child whose mother abandoned him. You need to be best role model you can be to your son demonstrating how to overcome adversity and thrive thereafter.

Godspeed,

Mr. W

Do you have a dedicated phone number for her to call DS?
Some in PLan B use a cheap cell phone

Ya know...cheaper than a cell phone might be a VOIPO phone. Houses are wired for telephones but most people are now going strictly cellular. I could set up a VOIPO phone on just one outlet, say in your son's room, with an antiquated answering machine on it so she can call, talk and leave messages for years to come directly with your son in his room and you'll never have to bother with it. I've seen pricing at like $36 for 2 years. This also might be better than giving her eventually cell phone number which he'll never want to change as he ages. He'll be more in control of her access to him as he grows up.

I don't know if you intend to monitor her contact, for example, if she's constantly making promises she can't keep and further harming your son...having easy access probably isn't a good idea. At that point...an email address for your son may work best which will auto cc: your intermediary so they can keep an eye on what she's saying to your son.

Just thinking of strategies and alternatives.