|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
[
I am doing the best I can to avoid fighting about it. That seems to be a very difficult thing for me to do right now. But I will try harder on that. Good man!! If you just think of her as falling down drunk who is very high on alcohol it will be easier to control yourself. See, she is trying to bait you into fights and when you fight with her, you PROVE to her that you really ARE satan incarnate. You give her ammunition to demonize you and jusityf her affair. In contrast you make the OM [the pig] LOOK GOOD because he is not fighting with her. Do you see? It is very un-strategic to fight back. You have to be smarter than her right now and you are dumber when you get angry. When you get angry, you have lost all control.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96 |
I think there is more to the story that you don't know. I agree. And OMW may be able to provide additional information. I will contact her very soon. Either by the end of the night or tomorrow during my lunch break.
BH
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
There is no reason your marriage can't be saved. Most marriages don't end over adultery. We have seen much worse than this come back from the dead. Faith the size of a mustard seed ... right  noooooooooooo. My faith is very much based on long experience. I do not believe in false hope. I promise you. There are many situations here where divorce is the definition of success.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96 |
Good man!! If you just think of her as falling down drunk who is very high on alcohol it will be easier to control yourself.
See, she is trying to bait you into fights and when you fight with her, you PROVE to her that you really ARE satan incarnate. You give her ammunition to demonize you and jusityf her affair. In contrast you make the OM [the pig] LOOK GOOD because he is not fighting with her.
Do you see? It is very un-strategic to fight back. You have to be smarter than her right now and you are dumber when you get angry. When you get angry, you have lost all control. I agree with it being un-strategic and that I tend to get dumber when I get angry. Such a very difficult thing to not get angry about. She knows just how to push my buttons.
BH
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96 |
noooooooooooo. My faith is very much based on long experience. I do not believe in false hope. I promise you. There are many situations here where divorce is the definition of success. Well I will try my best to follow the advice fight my current emotions and continue to give updates and ask for follow on advice. Only wish I knew about this place a few months ago.
BH
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I agree with it being un-strategic and that I tend to get dumber when I get angry. Such a very difficult thing to not get angry about. She knows just how to push my buttons. We understand completely!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
noooooooooooo. My faith is very much based on long experience. I do not believe in false hope. I promise you. There are many situations here where divorce is the definition of success. Well I will try my best to follow the advice fight my current emotions and continue to give updates and ask for follow on advice. Only wish I knew about this place a few months ago. You have a lot going in your favor. I think the plot is for the OM and your WW to get divorced and then get together. You can put major pressure on the affair by exposing to the IG, his commander and his family. And by asking her family to support your marriage by sending her home. It will be much harder for her to hide the affair if she is home. I would be thinking of how you can plant spy resources in the house before she moves back. For example, you need a VAR in a key spot, keyloggers, and perhaps even a video cam of some type. I would be thinking about this before she comes back. And most importantly, DO NOT FIGHT OR LOVEBUST HER!! You are competing against a scumball who is not fighting with her and you need be clever as a fox right now.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391 |
I have not yet read where anyone suggested to install a "Real Time GPS Tracker" onto her vehicle so that the WW's whereabouts could be ascertained immediately and prove where she goes.
WD, (WifeDivorcing) had installed one on his WW's vehicle with extreme success.
Also, i would recommend that you read that thread by that poster to give you an accurate step by step peak into how a WW will react and how to properly Plan A your WW with your caring responses.
LTL
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
You should expose the OM on www.cheaterville.com and www.playerblock.com. Then send links to those exposures to OM family and friends. Online exposure really puts dents in the affair
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 395
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 395 |
FC
A big positive sign is the way you have received the suggestions offered.
When suggested, you contacted the ig.
You've stated your willingness to contact OMW.
You've been receptive to getting anti depressants.
This puts you among the strongest of thee BS who post here. Stay open and proactive and know that you ARE being the hero your children need you to be.
I like the suggestion to put a GPS on your WW car.
You do need to carry a hidden voice recorder on your person at all times. This is to protect you in case your WW makes any false allegations of abuse. Be prepared. Buy one today.
Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96 |
You have a lot going in your favor. I think the plot is for the OM and your WW to get divorced and then get together. You can put major pressure on the affair by exposing to the IG, his commander and his family. And by asking her family to support your marriage by sending her home. It will be much harder for her to hide the affair if she is home.
I would be thinking of how you can plant spy resources in the house before she moves back. For example, you need a VAR in a key spot, keyloggers, and perhaps even a video cam of some type. I would be thinking about this before she comes back.
And most importantly, DO NOT FIGHT OR LOVEBUST HER!! You are competing against a scumball who is not fighting with her and you need be clever as a fox right now. I will try to read some more of the book tonight and figure out ways I can prevent myself from doing any of those things. Hard to not fight when she thinks any type of discussion we have is a "fight". Do I tell her about the cam/VR/keylogger? You may be right about the plot.
BH
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96 |
I have not yet read where anyone suggested to install a "Real Time GPS Tracker" onto her vehicle so that the WW's whereabouts could be ascertained immediately and prove where she goes.
WD, (WifeDivorcing) had installed one on his WW's vehicle with extreme success.
Also, i would recommend that you read that thread by that poster to give you an accurate step by step peak into how a WW will react and how to properly Plan A your WW with your caring responses.
LTL Can you provide a link for the thread you would like me to read? Is it legal for me to put GPS on her car?
BH
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96 |
FC
A big positive sign is the way you have received the suggestions offered.
When suggested, you contacted the ig.
You've stated your willingness to contact OMW.
You've been receptive to getting anti depressants.
This puts you among the strongest of thee BS who post here. Stay open and proactive and know that you ARE being the hero your children need you to be.
I like the suggestion to put a GPS on your WW car.
You do need to carry a hidden voice recorder on your person at all times. This is to protect you in case your WW makes any false allegations of abuse. Be prepared. Buy one today. Will get the VR today. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Got a long list of things that need to get done and its not getting any shorter.
BH
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96 |
I will look into those sites.
BH
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96 |
I did file for child custody (for a second time canceled the first one when she moved home the first time) because the lawyer recommended it. Should I go down to the courthouse and cancel it? I have not told WW about it. I really want to build a better marriage than we ever had before but at the same time if she does not get on board with that I do not want to lose any more time with my kids than I absolutely have to. Very difficult decisions.
BH
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391 |
I have not yet read where anyone suggested to install a "Real Time GPS Tracker" onto her vehicle so that the WW's whereabouts could be ascertained immediately and prove where she goes.
WD, (WifeDivorcing) had installed one on his WW's vehicle with extreme success.
Also, i would recommend that you read that thread by that poster to give you an accurate step by step peak into how a WW will react and how to properly Plan A your WW with your caring responses.
LTL Can you provide a link for the thread you would like me to read? Is it legal for me to put GPS on her car? WifeDivorcing Topic Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2791622#Post2791622And NO, you do not let your W have any indication you are discreetly trying to discover the truth about your marriage and outside influences. If she knew, she would take extra steps to conceal any intel from you. Read that thread!!! LTL
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96 |
I'm not very good at this rolling over and taking it crap. 
BH
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
[
I will try to read some more of the book tonight and figure out ways I can prevent myself from doing any of those things. Hard to not fight when she thinks any type of discussion we have is a "fight". Do I tell her about the cam/VR/keylogger? huh?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I did file for child custody (for a second time canceled the first one when she moved home the first time) because the lawyer recommended it. Should I go down to the courthouse and cancel it? I have not told WW about it. I really want to build a better marriage than we ever had before but at the same time if she does not get on board with that I do not want to lose any more time with my kids than I absolutely have to. Very difficult decisions. I would keep it in place just for the protection of your children.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 96 |
I would keep it in place just for the protection of your children. Neither of us have been served yet. Will let it be for now.
BH
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
466
guests, and
86
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,525
Members72,046
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
