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[
I will try to read some more of the book tonight and figure out ways I can prevent myself from doing any of those things. Hard to not fight when she thinks any type of discussion we have is a "fight". Do I tell her about the cam/VR/keylogger? huh? If she were to move back in. I'm taking it I wouldn't tell her about those things. Just not in line the with "Radical Honesty".
BH
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This is the response I received from the IG today ...
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: FOUO
Thank you for contacting the Department of the Army Inspector General Agency with your concern. After careful review of the matters you presented, we determined that the appropriate method to address your concerns is yours by using the Commander's or supervisors open door policy ( at whatever level is required) or the local Fort Belvoir which is located in Bldg. 1468, near the intersection of Gunston Road and 5th Street. Hours are Monday through Friday, 7 a.m. to 5 p.m., (703) 806-0088. Thank you Assistance Division
BH
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Radical Honesty is not a tool for a non-recovered marriage...
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Radical Honesty is not a tool for a non-recovered marriage... Got it. So that comes after she agree's to the plan then.
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[
I will try to read some more of the book tonight and figure out ways I can prevent myself from doing any of those things. Hard to not fight when she thinks any type of discussion we have is a "fight". Do I tell her about the cam/VR/keylogger? huh? If she were to move back in. I'm taking it I wouldn't tell her about those things. Just not in line the with "Radical Honesty". Radical honesty does not apply here!! If you were radically honest you could not protect your marriage. Being honest about snooping negates the benefit of snooping entirely.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Radical Honesty is not a tool for a non-recovered marriage... Got it. So that comes after she agree's to the plan then. It will NEVER come in regards to snooping. You can't protect yourself that way. Never ever give her any information about your snooping techniques.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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This is the response I received from the IG today ...
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: FOUO
Thank you for contacting the Department of the Army Inspector General Agency with your concern. After careful review of the matters you presented, we determined that the appropriate method to address your concerns is yours by using the Commander's or supervisors open door policy ( at whatever level is required) or the local Fort Belvoir which is located in Bldg. 1468, near the intersection of Gunston Road and 5th Street. Hours are Monday through Friday, 7 a.m. to 5 p.m., (703) 806-0088. Thank you Assistance Division Great! There you go. I move contact the commander and some key supervisors immediately. Can you get the email and dress of the commander and a key supervisor? You will want to expose to more than 1 person so the commander does not sweep this under the rug. Also, where are you in regards to exposure to OMW and the OMs family and friends?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Absolutely. Contact all three: his first line supervisor, his commander and the local IG. If you know the unit, ask when the commander has his/her "open door time" and visit in person. Take whatever concrete evidence you have and provide copies to the commander. Let the commander know that you are also visiting the local IG.
Did you get any information from OMW yet?
AM
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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I just got off the phone with the IG's office. They are going to track down the POSOM and forward the information to his commander. Basically said they would not be able to tell me what happens to the soldier as that will be determined by the commander. They are supposed to call me back. Very very awkward phone call. I did tell the lady on the phone that I didn't really care to know what they do to him I'm just trying to save my marriage.
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Waiting to for the call back to find out what unit. Then I will be able to get the contact information. I am contacting the OMW this evening via FB private message as I have been unable to get any of her other contact information.
BH
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Good job in contacting the post IG. Also, contact the commander. As above, give the commander copies of the evidence you have. Let him/her know that you expect a no contact order to be issued to OM.
Is there a possibility that OM and OMW live on post?
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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No neither one of them live on post. OM got an apartment not to long ago and OMW is living in their townhouse. They have a young child together.
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No neither one of them live on post. OM got an apartment not to long ago and OMW is living in their townhouse. They have a young child together. If you know where she lives, you could compile all of your evidence and information about the meritorious charges you are having filed against him and the investigation status directly to the POSOM's Wife. Have you tried: WhitePages.com Radaris People Finder MyLife.com Zimbio NetDetective.com I have a stack of other search sites to look up people and possibly track down their phone numbers, but that's all i can think of off the top of my head. LTL
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Are you suggesting that I just go knock on her door and say hey your husband cheated on you with my wife here is all the evidence that I have just wanted you to know? That seems a bit out there.
BH
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Are you suggesting that I just go knock on her door and say hey your husband cheated on you with my wife here is all the evidence that I have just wanted you to know? That seems a bit out there. That is a great idea.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Just an update it has been an extremely long day and spent the entire evening with my kids outside. Have not had a chance to send her the message yet but it will get done. Called today to make appointment with the doc ... Still waiting to hear back from them as well. Conversation with WW was not horrible today. Kids still asking when she is coming home after the goodnight phone call. All of this mess is exhausting but makes it very difficult to get any sleep/rest.
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Not really sure if I could control myself if he were to be there. And that really bothers me. Can't afford to lose my clearance and lively hood because I lost my cool on this POS
BH
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Not really sure if I could control myself if he were to be there. And that really bothers me. Can't afford to lose my clearance and lively hood because I lost my cool on this POS Then you can bring a friend with you. And I bet you can control yourself. 99.9999999% of men do.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Are you suggesting that I just go knock on her door and say hey your husband cheated on you with my wife here is all the evidence that I have just wanted you to know? That seems a bit out there. Yessss! Exactly. And as Melody suggests, bring a friend as a witness.
Me 58: FWH (NC 32 yr), W 60, married 36 yr, DD 32
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