It's on my list, friend.

So sorry to hear about the latest. How did you find out the news?

Maybe a "door home" for step son??

Perhaps the only possible "door home" for her would be something like:

If you come home in the next 30 days I'll help you through this pregnancy and help you place this child up for adoption in a home with both a mother and a father committed and willing to raise this child in love and peace. Otherwise, I'm not willing to see you break another child's heart ever again and this is goodbye forever.

Intermediary is for any possible communication with her son sometime in the future.

TQ,

This is a great suggestion from Mr. Wondering.
What are your thoughts?

Here it is
Radio Clip of TranquilDark's Question

TD,

I'm truly sorry to lean of this. I don't think that any guy could have endure what you have for the sake of saving his M. I agree that you should contact Dr. Harley and verify that Plan B is appropriate for you now and how to proceed. I'm just me, but I disagree with Wondering in focusing on your step-son at this point. I think all your energy is gong to be needed in you and your son through this. You are going to have to prepare yourself to explain to your son why his mother is not going to be present in his life again, at least for quite awhile, and why she brought a half-sister/brother into the world outside of your family. I think that trying to assume responsibility for your step-son at this point would interfere with any Plan B since your ww would try to force contact with you. I also believe that attempting to raise or support your step-son over the years could create a rift between these two especially in teen
years, with your son realizing that you devoted time to the son or your son's wayward mother!

If I were in your situation IK would definitely conact Dr. Harley before deciding on anyone's advice. My prayers for you until you tell me to stop.

Tom

TD,
I'm sorry to hear this news. You have bravely fought a long, hard battle.

I listened to the program (Thanks, Brainy.), and Dr. Harley and Joyce seemed most concerned about the legal aspects of this. So take their advice and protect yourself. Talk to your attorney ASAP.

Take care, friend.

You're welcome.

TD,
How are you doing?

Phone was dunked in the toilet on accident. I'm doing fine got legal advice and I'm in the clear with that. I like Mr. W's suggestion but I'm still undecided. BH, thanks for the clip I don't want to reveal my methods but it was a medical test. So its 100% accurate. I exposed to all my friends and family and they are appalled. DS is upset and says he loves me and not his mom. Can't blame him for that.

I got a text from MIL asking me if everything is ok. I was going to reply:

DS and I are deeply hurt and shocked that your daughter is having another man's child.

What do you think of that, MBers?

TD,
I would not text that to MIL. She will feel like you are lashing out at her, and she is not the one who was impregnated by her POS affair partner. Plus she will become defensive for her daughter. Just leave her out of this.

But if you decide to go into Plan B, let your MIL know about it.

Are you planning on speeding up the divorce and going into Plan B?

Yes I am, I'll send the plan B letter that Mr. W posted to WW and MIL. Anyone mind being my IM? JK? Should I send the letter to POSOM as well? I know it said something like that in SAA. We live in different states, would a Plan B letter be used against me for custody?

How is she sending text?
I thought she only spoke Spanish?

I dont think the Plan B letter could be used against you for custody. The way it is written, makes it clear that the wayward is welcome to see the child. It does not affect the parent-child relationship.

I think Harley would have advised in his books if the Plan B letter could be used against you in court.

I am willing to act as an IM if you like

Harley does recommend sending a copy of the Plan B letter to the OM.

EDIT: consider this: if the OM ex is telling the truth and they both use drugs, that baby may end up being a drug baby. That would be a major challenge, coupled with the possibility that WW may be an addict.

I am not dealing with a wayward wife + recovery + drug addiction. I'm out if that is the truth. I just emailed Dr. Harley about Plan B to see if I should implement it. My 2 year mark is coming soon and I am 100% sure he will say go ahead. Thanks for being my IM. I need to call the church she attends and expose to them as well.

Today is homemade pizza night with DS. Also ran a 5.25 miles in 54 minutes. Should I add what Mr. W posted to the Plan B letter format or just use that post as is?

I found a great pizza or spaghetti sauce recipe...it takes a few hours to cook.

If you want me to be an IM, hit NOTIFY and the mods can give you my contact info

Response from Dr. Harley

Hi TD,

I'm concerned that if your wife were to ever become destitute, and go to
social services for financial relief, they would go to the man she was
married to at the time of the child's birth. Ask your attorney about that
scenario. What the court agrees to at the time of a divorce can be
overturned by social services.

As for plan B, I think it is probably time for that even though your heart
is still with your wife.

I'm going to get my Plan B ready and set it for next Monday. Thanks everyone for your help. My steps in Plan B are:

1. Exposure of the pregnancy to all mutual friends and family
2. Get an IM
3. Plan B letter
4. Pursue the divorce
5. Make sure I'm legally safe
6. Change my contact information

Please let me know if there is anything I missed.

She knows a little English.

You mind posting that recipe?

I'm sorry that your wife never came out of the fog. She will regret her decisions later. Praying for you and your son, TD. Your pseudonym and real name (if I caught it right on the radio show) is in a prayer box in my office.

Best of luck moving forward.

God bless!

Perhaps consider talking to the attorney first and see what the financial risks are for you. Perhaps before exposure and risking ticking her off (playing nice sucks) you may want to take a stab at a Plan B letter like I said before (come home baby up for adoption...etc. or you're done, setting up an intermediary and also asking for a quick and cheap divorce). If you get hostile (from her perspective) trying to expose her and shame her she may just disappear or fight you to prolong the divorce. Getting her to sign off of the divorce acting like she owes you the favor of signing off nicely after all she's done may be the most expedient angle to avoid any financial responsibility for this other child.

What difference does exposure make anyway...it's not going to tip the scales and make her come home and put the baby up for adoption.

I'm kinda rambling but want you to think about you and your son's best interests right now. Plus...isn't she out of the country??? Ask your attorney how long it will take to otherwise (presuming she's uncooperative) to get divorced.

What if she contests???

Chances are she'll fail to appear and you'll get a divorce by default but what are the service requirements and do you know where she is to even serve her divorce papers???

Good luck.