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I just read this whole thread for the first time, and it was amazing to see the full circle of the typical WW. It took me forever to get through it, but it was worth it.
I hope WD will give an update on their progress. This is a story that can give a lot of BS's the hope and encouragement to follow the plan, and the importance of exposure.
I'm checking in with you guys, just wanted to let everyone know my wife and I are doing fantastic. My wife and I have been continuously working on our marriage, by reading all of Harleys books and going to church on a regular basis. It has been one amazing journey. I can truly say GOD has been seeing us through this.
When they say your spouse is an alien, I can tell you, this is a true statement. My wife can't believe nor does she remember half of the nonsense she has spewed out of her mouth. Its like night and Day.
I'm sorry its been a long time since I've been on the board. I will check in again soon. I'm going to start coming on here more,
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
thanks for checking in, friend!! So happy to hear about you and your wife.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
This made my night. I am so glad you checked in. This is one of my all time favorite threads. It is a great example of when exposure is done the right way, that the marriage can be recovered. Thank you!!!
I'm a firm believer in exposing the affair, especially when you get everything in place, it has to be done swiftly and no indication that it is coming. I can tell you this, it never felt right to expose the affair, but once you do, its the right thing to do.
Jedi Knight, we did move farther away.
When I look back during my plan A, I'm amazed that I had so much restraint, I know GOD himself carried me through it.
I have talked to several attorneys about the illegal petition, They all say I have a case under USC 1984, however none of them want to take the case because they say the legal fees would out way the Monterey damages. I'm going to call a few more attorneys before its said and done.
I will say this to anyone who is hesitating on exposing the Affair, DON'T HESITAT! get what you need and expose it ASAP, Listen to MelodyLane, Jedi Knight and indiegirl and any other person who has gone through this.
Once exposure is done the storm is heading your way and anything can happen as everyone who knows my situation will tell you, but be calm in this storm and pray. In a nut shell I ended up in an outpatient psychiatric unit for 5 days and was prescribed Haldol a psychotropic drug. That I did not need and if I did take it I probably wouldn't be talking to any of you right now. I had a lot of faith in God and still do.
My wife is now telling her patients at work about Harleys books who have mentioned infidelity in there marriages and one patient told her that her husband and her have become closer than ever and she helped save their marriage of 25 years.
I have made many changes in my life because of this. I still have not drank any alcohol and don't want too. My wife and I have been continuously working on our marriage.
I will keep trying to get on here as much as I can to help anyone out.
I again would like to Thank everyone here who has helped me get through this. I greatly appreciate it.
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
I again would like to Thank everyone here who has helped me get through this. I greatly appreciate it.
You are so very welcome! It is sure enjoyable to help someone who has the balls to do the footwork. And I wanted to ask, do you do this in your patrol car??
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Glad to hear things are going great. Your epic tale is one we will all remember, and we're happy to see that your marriage is flourishing. I've been wondering how you'e doing.
I owe a lot of my success to this site and you fine people who helped me get through the most difficult time of my life, a journey that I never seen coming.
I truly believe God had directed me to this web site over the other site. I just went back and read the first 30 pages of my thread and I can't believe the amount of tolerance I had, so I know that was God guiding me through this journey.
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Just checking in with everyone, my wife and I are still growing closer everyday. I'm extremely grateful for this forum and the people who I know God guided me to them here. My wife and I continue to read and listen MB Radio daily. Its just been a Blessing!
ME46 WW 38 D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
Just checking in with everyone, my wife and I are still growing closer everyday. I'm extremely grateful for this forum and the people who I know God guided me to them here. My wife and I continue to read and listen MB Radio daily. Its just been a Blessing!
Thanks for the update WD. Your story is inspiring for many BHs.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
I'm so pleased to read your thread. I'm just starting with this, and it's good to see that 2 years ago you were in D-Day, but today it appears all is good. I need something to say that this will all be worth it.
WD, I am wondering if you would have the time to give a synopsis post. What you thought made the biggest difference and how did what you did. I read the whole thing and can't believe it only took 3 or 4 months to really start a healthy recovery. What did you do to deposit in her love bank? What did you avoid in the way of love busters. I know all about the exposure and you are a firm believer that worked for you. What does she say now about that? Was it an "I came back despite that" or "I see now why you did it an that was what woke me up!"?
M12, D11, D21 BD 1/15 In house separation 2/15 Consistently MB'in 9/15
\Was it an "I came back despite that" or "I see now why you did it an that was what woke me up!"? or "I see now why you did it an that was what woke me up!"?
huh? It sounds like you are injecting your own personal opinion here. What Dr. Bill Harley, clinical psychologist and founder of Marriage Builders says is this:
Originally Posted by Dr Bill Harley
"Exposure is very likely to end the affair, lifting the fog that has overcome the unfaithful spouse, helping him or her become truly repentant and willing to put energy and effort into a full marital recovery.In my experience with thousands of couples who struggle with the fallout of infidelity, exposure has been the single most important first step toward recovery. It not only helps end the affair, but it also provides support to the betrayed spouse, giving him or her stamina to hold out for ultimate recovery."
Is that not exactly what happened here? So why ask if she came back IN SPITE of exposure when what occurred here is EXACTLY what Dr. Harley predicted? People who don't expose only enable the affair so the spouse does not come back.
Every saved marriage on this forum attributes that success to exposure.
Do you want to see what happens when people DON'T expose? Listen to these radio clips between Dr Harley and enabling betrayed husbands:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Stick around.