tomek,

So if I understand correctly, you have not exposed either your WW or the OMs, your serial cheating WW has never come clean, and you are at home by yourself trusting that your WW is being honorable while on the road.

Please do something to help yourself, exposing is not just about shaming your WW, but it also allows you to not have to keep these horrible secrets to your self suffering in silence.

Why have you not exposed these OM to their wives and employers?

God Bless
Gamma

Guys, there is more than one way to skin the cat. I appreciate your help but sometimes it is too much and too patroniizing. Dr. Harley may be smart one but he is not the Only. Truth Almighty!

tomek, do you have a plan for your marriage from now on? How will you deal with your wife's continued travel?

Are you not willing to email Dr. Harley?

He invites when people disagree with any of his points.

So how about emailing him?

Sorry. It's just hard to watch the same cat setting himself up to be skinned for the third time.

This attitude is why you have been here for 14 years and are still not recovered. Those of us who followed these steps are in recovered marriages.

This is incredibly rude. You are the one here asking for help. Many seasoned posters took a lot of time and effort to try to help you. Instead of being dismissive, maybe you should consider the fact that not listening and not following MB is what has gotten you into this incredible nightmare of a M riddled with infidelity.

I went back to your very first post here back in 2000. The first response to you was basically telling you to learn about MB and that you were not in recovery because your WW was still in contact with the OM. Again you dismissed the advice and you abandoned that thread. http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...;Main=44976&Number=481211#Post481211


Not sure how anyone is supposed to help you when you dismissed advice as basic as NC and after 14 years of more infidelity you are still rejecting anything MB related.

Good heavens - I didn't look at the join date. Oh, wow.

Without fail, those people who have been here for years and are still insisting that Marriage Builders is "just one way" or "just like" some other marriage program, or "just like" all other marriage programs - are the ones who are still miserable, years and decades later.

Dr. Harley suggests that if you are planning to continue to stick with a bad marriage you should see your doctor to have antidepressants prescribed. I haven't seen this from a lot of other marriage programs, but I strongly recommend not skipping it or saying that it is "just one way."

And just how would you know since it is apparent you don't know ANY way to skin a cat?

I don't think he has ever claimed to be. He's only claimed to have had a faithful marriage for fifty years, and saved the marriages of thousands affected by infidelity. I've never seen his plan fail when followed.

Plan Tomek has failed three times and will surely fail a fourth.

You have someone who is addicted to the rush of affairs. She is allowed to keep this secret from people who love her and would help her if they could and also to have lots of time and space to have her affairs in private.

No addict has the strength to resist such a thing when their spouse is actively encouraging it.

You dont insist on her remaining at home, nor do you go with her. This would strike many women as you not caring very much what she does. This is a bad move with a woman who needs so much attention and protectiveness.

When I came here I made the mistake of skipping one piece of advice. I agreed with it all but one little thing. Skipping that step earned me a d day. I was wrong, Dr H was right. It only took me one fall to wise up. How many tries of trying to outdo Dr H at his own speciality will you try? What is your Plan for Dday number 4 which will no doubt happen away from home, while she feels her reputation is safe and sound in your passive hands. Let's face it, she's not scared of what you think.

I don't think Dr H is the all knowing. But he sure knows affairs after so many years repairing them. I've been on these forums for two and even I know every affair is identical. A woman who cheats on business trips will continue to cheat on business trips. Even if she is really sorry. Because you aren't married or in love, or safe when you live apart.